Oh. My. God
This last month has been the toughest shit ever. Yes, I am a health freak for the most part, but ya girl loves junk on a occasion. I have never gone this far without eating any thing I would consider “bad.” That horrible, dumb quote from Kate Moss that’s like “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” is a giant, awful lie that she tells herself because she hates her body and herself. Guess what? I love myself and I’m gonna eat fries when I’m hungover on a Sunday and that’s FINE. I like my body enough to where I’m gonna do what I want. It aint perfect, but if I have to suffer like this to look like her, then nah.
As a human who interacts with other humans on a daily basis, I am BOMBARDED with sugar every single day. It’s in the office, it’s on the subway and it’s even on my Instagram. There is no point where I “forget” about sugar, it’s everywhere, all the time. Because I am also a human of 23 years, I know what sugar tastes like and my brain is like “oh yeah that shit is good please get back to eating that” so of course I also think about it all the time.
I will say this week wasn’t as bad since I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m kind of nervous I’ll get back into some of my bad habits, but I’m determined to keep this up for the most part. I’m definitely not gonna eat sugar just for the sake of eating it, but will be giving in when I wanna claw my arm off for some chocolate (i’m human).
The 2 reasons I’ve made it through this horrible month:
- Other millions and billions of people have done it, and if I didn’t do it, I’d feel like a failure. I’m super competitive and I gotta at least be on par with other people when it comes to health.
- I said I would on this blog. I could have just lied and said I did while I ate my cupcakes, but I would feel bad for lying. Not sure why, cause who cares, but I wanna be authentic on here. I also verbally told people, so again, I’d feel guilty.
My body does look pretty great I will say that. I lost the little bit of “pudge” or whatever you wanna call it and I’m back to my “normal.” Don’t have abs now or anything crazy, but that its what has gotten me through parts of this whole thing is the fact that I look damn good again. I never weigh myself, so I always go by what I look like in clothes (it’s weird but it works). “I “feel” overall pretty good too. Not like “wow night and day totally different person” good, but pretty good. Waking up in the morning is noticeably easy and I have a good amount of energy like all day. The exception is when I eat almond butter, I feel like shit but I think that’s just a me thing. My body rejects all things nut related, I have figured out(or am I allergic??? scary thought).
My face didn’t change at all really. I’ve pumped my body with enough meds (acutane thank you) to where I just don’t really breakout anymore, so not having a breakout is kinda normal (although even the occasional breakout didn’t happen). I kinda just look the same. I thought maybe my dark circles would get better, but nope. Those babies just occur no matter what, I suppose.
Foods I will Be Keeping Around in my Diet:
Kinda dumb, but this has made things taste sooooooo much better without adding sugar to it. I used to not like cinnamon very much (cinnamon buns are still really not my thing, no I’m not dead inside), but I’ve found it to be so useful lately when it comes to a sweeter breakfast/snack.
Apple Cider Vinegar
Okay I’m gonna be really real, I have no idea what this has actually done for me because I’ve added so many things to my diet. HOWEVER, for the simple fact that I still have some left and have gotten used to it, I’m gonna keep it up. I feel like its really good for digestion, but that could be all in my head.
Or mandarin oranges, I’m not picky. I absolutely love them and I bought them on a whim. It’s replaced my sugary dessert after dinner and it’s almost as good.
Foods I’ll Probably Never Touch Again
Okay this stuff is pretty good, but I got sick of it pretty quick. Might still put it on veggies, but as far as salad dressing and having to buy it all the time, nah. I liked it, but not in love with it.
Almond Butter, Peanut Butter and all the stupid nutt butters
I love this stuff, which means I eat a lot of it. That also means I feel HORRIBLE after eating this stuff. It’s not like “oh wow I’m full whew I gotta chill” it’s more like “please let me go home in the middle of work to sit in the fetal position and fart myself into oblivion.” TMI , but I can’t have this in my home anymore it’s detrimental to my health and happiness.
This stuff just takes wayy too much to be good and even then, isn’t great. I’m sure its very healthy, but just not for me. I’ll be sicking to GF overnight oats from now on.
I don’t need to say much more on these, but I really wanna know how health people are eating this. They are literally so bitter. I just can’t. So awful. I spent 20 bucks on a bag of them, please hold me.
Overall, I felt the most amazing at week 1 and some of week 2(besides the hormonal thing). Past that, it’s kinda made me hangry and super annoyed. I’m thinking about how badly I want a cookie and it annoys me that I’m not eating it, basically. I love myself and treat myself often, so this has just not been great. I definitely think this is something that’s easier with someone doing it with you. I have no one who wanted to do this horrible thing with me, so there’s no one to suffer with. Misery loves company.
I do feel like this was worth it. I will not be going back to putting pounds of sugar in my coffee, or eating a cookie every night. I’m NOT a diet person, its either a full lifestyle change or nothing for me(and its let me stick to a healthy life way easier). I needed this just to break some dumb sugar habits and now that I have, I’m sticking to it(just not gonna go a straight month without sugar again).
I proved I could do it and I’m sure my body loves me not trashing it with all the sugar. By tomorrow, I will be celebrating my victory with a cookie coma!!!!