Live From New York It’s the Skin Update

Well hey, its been literally over two months since I posted anything on here… Do I have any explanation? Lack of inspiration? Not really knowing what to talk about? Feeling like  I’ve been just writing things for the sake of writing things? Haven’t been meditating and my mind is all over the place? Yes, yes, yes, and YES.

Honestly, I kept putting it off and then it got to a point where I was like, okay now it’d be lame if I posted that after THIS long. I do really feel I should update you on my skin situation. Let’s start with the bad news?

I don’t use honey as face wash anymore. I’m not sure why, but once winter came, my jawline was breaking out so bad I was getting super self-conscious about it. I tried to ride it out, but at some point I had to go with my skin and try other things. For now, I’ve moved back to good ole soap. I use this in the morning and this at night. My skin still isn’t perfect, but my jawline cleared up almost immediately. Which was a sign I really needed to switch. I’m thinking about going to oil based cleansers in the near future.

My skin responds really well to two things, coconut oil and lemon juice. I’m not sure why, but I’ve been using coconut oil as a moisturizer as well and its been amazing! My skin is normally super oily, but lately its been dry in patches on my t-zone area. All of that to say, I’ll be using both until my–hopefully–timely death, thanks.

The last thing that has been a real game changer for me: Collagen. I would say this is one thing thats transformed my skin and gotten rid of scarring the best. Some people really like it for hair, nail and eyelash growth! I’m pretty blessed in those departments, so the most apparent change has been in my skin. I recently switched to this kind and I just pop it into my coffee every morning!

That’s a wrap! Starting a new series late this week (probably next week) so stay tuned for that!

Love You, But Get Over Yourself

It’s Valentine’s Day! Everyone today is talking about self-love and loving yourself matter if you’re single or dating someone or you married, which is great! Do that! Today I wanted to shake it up and talk about something a little bit different. I talked a little bit about this on my Instagram stories, which if you’re not following me on Instagram you should be, hello. I somehow inspired myself to write this little reminder for you, on this day of love of you and/or someone else.

I had a moment, well more than a moment, more like 6 months in my life where I gained weight when I first moved to New York. I haven’t talked about it at all because, really not in the best place yet to discuss it(but I’m getting there).  It was not the best time considering all the crazy changes happening in my life. I started off with a very low self-esteem as a kid. It’s gotten way better over the years but it’s still not amazing especially when it comes to my body. I had very weird relationship with food and still struggle with it! So when I gained weight for the first time in forever, I panicked. I didn’t know what the heck was going on, I was not happy about it and it only got worse once I started focusing on it.

I spent a lot of time last summer putting on clothes that I had been wearing for years and noticing that they didn’t look the same way or I didn’t feel the same way in them. It got to a point where I wasn’t even sure what size I was anymore and so I stopped buying new clothes because it would bum me out. At the end of the day, I still had to live my life. I wasn’t gonna sit in my room and cry about it even though that’s really what really what I wanted to do. Summer is the most fun, so a lot of the time I just had to put on what I had and try not to think about it.

Nobody noticed or cared except for me and I think that’s one of the things that got me out of the house half the time is nobody is going to notice. Nobody cares about me, nobody looks at myself the way I do or looks at me in the critical way that I do. That has helped me more than anything, so I guess today I’m preaching get over yourself. Nobody cares what you look like half the time, nobody noticed the pimple on your face, nobody noticed that you look a little bloated today. Everyone else is way too busy thinking about how they look, feel and act to also worry about you and your crap!

The people who love you and the people that matter, don’t give a singular crap about the dumb, awful things you think about you. It’s nice to know you’re the only one who cares about every single thought in your head or about what you look like every single day! Obviously love yourself, don’t think that you’re a piece of crap because you gained a little weight or you have a pimple on your face or you did something embarrassing 2 months ago.

Some of the best times I’ve had in my life were when I sucked it up and did whatever it was regardless of how I felt about my outward appearance.

Read and Review: Your February Reading List

I’ve been meaning to do this for ages, since I love reading and sharing which books I loved. However, in earlier months, I’ve just managed a couple of books and who wants one review a month? I need a whole list. So I hunkered down and managed to read 5 this month, which I consider a feat, thank you very much! Especially with Netflix putting out new TV I want to binge once a week (help). Anyway, here’s all the books I read and how I liked them! Enjoy

The Handmaid’s Tale

The Gist: Post apocalyptic world where some women are servants and men control everything. Yeah that’s it

Thoughts and Feels: I read this mostly because it’s a show and instead of paying for Hulu, I decided to read the book. It was a relatively fast read, but only because I kept waiting for it to get good. The premise is really interesting, but left a lot to the imagination. I never understood people’s roles or what really happened to cause this societal shift? It’s one of those books where the end leaves you to come up with your own conclusion, which as a write myself, feels like a cop out.

 Rating: 4/10-Meh

Pieces of Her

The Gist: Andrea moves back to her hometown in Georgia after her mother becomes ill. Her and her mother experience a tragic shooting that leaves Andrea questioning everything she thought she knew about her mother and her own life.

Thoughts and Feels: Twists! Turns! Murder! I’m here for it! I love a good murder mystery and this one was insane. I love a good book that just absolutely consumes my life and I read it every free second I have. It’s one of those really rare books that you don’t guess the end or half of the things that happen, for that matter.

Rating: 10/10-please read

Cop Town

The Gist: Atlanta cops Kate Murphy and Maggie Lawson work to uncover a cop killer, while navigating life as a female police officer in the 1970’s. Let’s just say it’s not easy.

Thoughts and Feels: I LOVED THIS ONE. All about bad ass lady cops in the 70s what more could you want? Also the whole crazy-dont-know-what’s-gonna-happen-murder mystery. Basically going through Karin Slaughter’s entire “discography” (but what’s the book form of that word??) and I’m not mad about it.

Rating: 10/10-please read

All We Ever Wanted

The Gist: At the heart of the lies and scandal, Tom, Nina, and Lyla are forced together—all questioning their closest relationships, asking themselves who they really are, and searching for the courage to live a life of true meaning (stole this from Amazon cause I really didn’t know how to summarize it)

Thoughts and Feels: This was a weird subject to touch on. Very much a “hot button” issue and I’m not really sure how I feel about this book. It did some things really well, but others maybe a little bit problematic. I usually love everything this author writes, but this one was puzzling.

Rating: 6/10 because I still liked the book, just not as much as I normally do

The Unexpected Truth About Animals

The Gist: Touches on a few misconceptions about animals and where those misconceptions came from in our history.

Thoughts and Feels: If you didn’t know this about me, I find animal documentaries super fascinating. I’ve been deciding whether to buy the book for a while and I’m very glad I did. History is crazy, animals are very weird and the writing is funny.

Rating: 8/10 not a murder mystery but still good

 

Adventures in Crazy Workouts: DanceBody

It has been a hot minute since I did one of these babies. I’ve been doing a lot of the same things and trying to keep it consistent, rather than fun. What can I say, I like a routine. I’ve also really been enjoying CorePower Yoga’s Yoga Sculpt class. It’s longer than normal, but I feel amazing afterwards. Definitely worth checking out if you have even a slight interest in yoga. 

On to what I ACTUALLY did. I went to my very first DanceBody class, on a Sunday, no less. I want businesses to know that influence by bloggers works cause the only reason I know about DanceBody is because of a blogger. I, being uncoordinated with dance and having *ahem* larger boobs, was apprehensive about taking this class. After I booked it, I thought “Why am I trying to take this class? My boobs are gonna fly all over the place and I’m going to look absolutely ridiculous. I really should just do a cycling class where it’s dark and comfortable.” BUT, it is 2018 and I’m not here for my own negativity about what my body looks like while trying to workout, thanks. I decided to book the class and interested to see how it would go.

I took the “Follow Along” class, which is the least amount of choreography and concentration. First, everything is fine, you’re dancing looking weird but it’s fine!! Next thing you know you’re sweating, calves dying and somehow it’s only been 15 minutes. This class was no joke. We were jumping and dancing for literally 45 minutes. There’s about an 8 minutes break to do arms, but is it really a break if you’re still moving your entire body I think no! 

The last 10 minutes is a lovely pilates tone while on a mat. It’s nice because you’re on the ground, no more jumping and you can finally breathe. It’s not nice because you’re somehow still out of breath, what the heck, your leg does not bend that way and oh my god I’m shaking. 

All in all, I loved the workout. Yes, it was very hard and yes, watching myself bounce around VERY uncoordinated was weird. However, I tried it, I liked it, I got out of my comfort zone and I didn’t die. The earth is still turing and no one stopped dancing in order to laugh at how uncoordinated I was. I recommend it if you’re a cardio queen like myself, would rather dance than workout or maybe can actually dance? If I was a richer woman, this would be my go-to after a long weekend of drinking and too much pizza. 

 

Fall Trends I’ll Actually Be Participating In

I know I don’t talk about fashion very often. I feel it’s a little cliché, as if I suddenly moved here and now somehow know fashion? Maybe a little ridiculous, since I wear the same 3 things over and over no matter how many things are in my closet. However, I would like to think I am somewhat abreast–english major word, on trends as a woman who walks around this city. Also, as a woman who shops, I’m inevitably slightly trendy no matter what. I’ll try anything once, except low-rise jeans. If those ever come back, I’m out.

 

Cheetah Print

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Kinda dig these pants too…..

I currently have cheetah print earrings (not as weird as it sounds) and I officially need more. I want a long, cover-my-butt long, furry, cheetah print coat for sure. Winters are long and I would love nothing more than facing the cold in a fuzzy coat that feels like a blanket. Currently, I’m eyeing this one. Never thought spending money on coats was worth it until moving here. Also, I am in serious need of cheetah print booties. Target had some really cute ones last year–I somehow never got them and unfortunately they are no more. Dying over these from DSW as well as these mules on sale. Overkill to wear them at the same time? Asking for a uh, friend.

“Modesty dressing”

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Definitely will be rocking this jacket

I took this phrasing from a magazine article, I would never say this. Translated, I would say this is the reason turtle necks are back and oversized clothing. Thank GOD, because let me just speak for everyone when I say big clothes are so much a mood in the winter. I can’t think of anything worse than worrying about my neck being cold because I have to wear a v-neck to be in-style. I’m totally here for turtle neck layering as well–think turtle neck + tank top over it. I love a good simple black one for layering with tank tops like this velvet one, or a chunky one for hiding from the world when it too cold for caring.

Plaid, Check, Pinstripe: Oh my

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I suddenly need loafers

 

Although this isn’t super new, I really need this to stay. Mostly because the pants in these prints are usually oversized–think “man-dressing” as the kids are calling it and I love it. Again, I love anything that’s oversized for comfort and also it makes me feel tinier than I am. Loving this style and this I need, basically just that whole second outfit is in my cart (for eternity). I NEED a pinstripe blazer and a checked coat, just as I need candy corn at all times in the Fall. Oversized, of course, and I want this one. Kind of reminds me of British style for the rich, but I guess fake it till you make it?

Leather

 

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Mixing fun and edgy

Still upset about my leather jacket being stolen from me at the clurb (aka club for all the old folks). It the best jacket when your arms are cold, but you still wanna be cool; literally and figuratively. I’m definitely in the market for a new one and maybe this cool brown one? Not sure how I feel about colored leather, but brown I can do. Leather skirts are always my Fall favorite, and maybe I could get into some leather shorts. For some reason, I like brown leather shorts more than black. I think brown leather shorts alway look slightly less suffocating and tight.

Scarves

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If I wear red and white am I a picnic basket?

 

Not talking about the big chunky ones (do those ever go out of style?), but the neck scarves. I have exactly one, and I wear it every chance I get. These are great because you can wear them in your hair, on your neck, as a shirt, a belt, and a headband. I’ve done all three with the one I have, but sadly it’s vintage. Grabbing these from Madewell!

Bright Colors

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(if you click the link this sweater is neon I swear)

This is just something I’ve been spotting lately when looking for sweaters. Usually, fall and winter colors are pretty dark, think grey, black, maroon, orange. I’ve been seeing more of a push towards brighter colors, even neon. I usually associate neon with sports and bad dressing in high school, but if it looks like this sweater I could get into it.

I pretty much just shopped and by that I mean I put a bunch of things in my cart where they will sit for the next two weeks!!!!!

I will now leave you with this horror I found the other day while scrolling through Instagram:

 

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I’m inconsolable.

Let’s Get Skintimate: The Update, Honey.

You see what I did? ‘Cause I use honey on my face now. Alright, moving on.

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As promised, I am finally updating you guys! I feel like using honey as a cleanser makes me sounds so hipster. Next, I’ll be saying “I also switched to only filtered water on my face while the bees come down from the heavens and put the honey directly on my face.” Side note: do bees poop honey or throw up honey? I have questions.

 

I have officially been using 4 new and different things on my face and I wanted to update you guys on how its been. Keep in mind, it’s only been a month. Who knows what it will be in six months, but fingers crossed it resembles a model when she uses Facetune on her Instagram selfies (too real?).

So, here’s my weird picture of everything I’ve been using:

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Honey, Lemon, Coconut Oil & Collagen Pills

Honey: This is part one of two of my cleanser ingredients. For every two-parts honey, I use one-part lemon. I usually do two tablespoons of honey and one of lemon. This has actually been GREAT. Notice, it is bolded, capitalized and italicized. Its real. So I use this both at night and in the morning. I try to let it sit on my face for a few minutes before I take it off. I feel like it seeps in better, but this could really all be in my head. I’ve broken out a little bit in the past month, but it’s super manageable. I don’t get monster zits, they’re really tiny and mostly in like one or two areas. Mostly, around my jaw and I broke out recently right next to my lips (come get you a kiss, boys!). Like I said, so easily covered and barely noticeable.

Lemon: My OG since January? I don’t know how long, but I’ve been using it a hot minute. It has yet to let me down, so it will probably use it till my dying day. I was a little bit hesitant when I mixed it with honey. I wasn’t sure how my skin would react to me not using it by itself. Admittedly, my skin was a little inflamed for a bit. After a couple weeks, it calmed down. Highly recommend!

Coconut Oil: I started using this as a makeup remover and wow-ie wow. My skin eats this shit UP. I only use it if I’ve worn makeup that day, but I swear my skin looks the best when I use this before washing my face. No joke, the next day its baby smooth and my makeup goes on even better. At the very least, if you listen to nothing else in this post, please start using oil as a makeup remover. Wipes are so harsh and this stuff has helped so much with my skin’s texture. (I get the one from Trader Joe’s simply because its cheapest).

Collagen Pills: This may be the thing that has smoothed out my face the most. The jury is still out since I did all four of these things at the same time. This stuff has really smoothed it out and just given it such a glowy look. It’s almost as if I haven’t gone through years of acne trauma! Will 100% be continuing this stuff as well.

So here’s a refresher, skin before:

 

 

Skin today:

 

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Okay, just adding these pictures and comparing, I can totally see a difference. Just wanna say, either way, both is me. My skin has never held me back in any way, nor do I think having clearer skin suddenly solves all my problems. I mean, it didn’t make me no money. I did this just to try it! Maybe my skin could be better, but if not, I’m unbothered. I definitely think it starts with what you put in your body first. THAT BEING SAID, my skin has really improved. I’m ecstatic with how this lil’ experiment turned out and I even got an unsolicited compliment on my skin (thanks Kate!). Excited to maybe try some more things and see how everything looks in a few months!

How To Survive in NYC (for a year)

I have to preface this by saying, I only know how to survive here for a year so far, so take this how you will.

It’s crazy as hell to think I’ve been living here for a whole year. Can I make it anywhere now? Just kidding, I have not “made it.” I do think I could probably live anywhere now. I’ve said it before, but this has been a long year, but also a very short year. So much is different, including myself. Not to sound fake deep and corny, but moving here has really changed me and tested me. Sometimes when I really didn’t want to change or be tested (the city really be testing me a lot).

It didn’t start out all rainbows and kisses, though. This also marks the day I missed my 6 am flight (never again), had a 4 hour layover, broke down because I couldn’t figure out how to get into the Airbnb I had rented and finally collapsing into sleep at 2 am after realizing I was trying to open the wrong door. Some of my experiences here have been just like that: a mess.

Obviously, not everything about NYC is messy. Cool things happen here all the time, like Christmas, full bands in the middle of the subway station, going to very fancy places when you are not fancy. Sometimes, just walking around is my favorite thing I did all day.

Anyway, these are the things I’ve learned since living here. Also, a few tips if you move here.

 

Unlimited subway passes are not for “rich people”

First of all, rich people aren’t taking the subway. Second, if you don’t get the unlimited and you have to commute for work everyday, you’re gonna be spending more money for no reason. This is generic, but I did it for like two months and would choose between walking somewhere and taking the train.

Figure out the easiest way to get home at night and at normal times

Okay, so the trains are ridiculous after like 9pm on a weekday and weekends. Sometimes they run late night, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they tell you, and sometimes they don’t. If you only know one train home, you’re gonna be screwed. Figure it out now, or freak out when its dark and scary. Your choice ladies. My advice, always know how to get home from Union Square. Almost every train passes through there, so it’s a very easy spot to get to.

Always charge your phone. I repeat. ALWAYS CHARGE YOUR PHONE

Or keep one of those dorky battery packs with you. I choose to charge because that doesn’t fit in my cute, small, purse. I say this because there may come a night when your phone dies, you have no idea where you are and you decided to keep talking to a guy who has now ditched you. This will be very terrifying at 4 am. Charge your phone, or cry because you don’t know how to get to the L from where you are. (also, before someone calls me out, I was in the west village so the streets were not numbered!!!).

All pizza basically tastes the same. Don’t believe the hype.

Lemme tell you, I’ve had a lot of pizza in my time here and I still like the dollar slices.   Maybe that makes me a cheap date, but I will accept this title with pride. Everyone here acts like a pizza snob because some people put some noodles on it or an extra blob of cheese. Also, Joe’s pizza sucks. Catch me standing in a horrendous line for burnt pizza, I have lost my mind.

Just take the Uber to the Airport, unless you want to spend all day trying to get there.

If you have all day to kill and want to be cheap, go for it. If you wanna go to work half-day and then fly, DO NOT TRY TO TAKE THE TRAIN OR BUS. It’s just not worth the inevitable “hi can I skip you? my flight is leaving in 10 minutes and if I don’t make it I may cry right here in front of you and that is awkward for everyone involved.”

Don’t live in New Jersey

Just don’t. There’s only one train and it’s slow. You’ll never convince me otherwise

Times Square is horrifying

I thought so when I moved here and it has only been solidified since I had to work near it. No where else will you run into people just standing around looking up or a creepy dude in an Iron Man costume saying “oh my god you look so good hello beautiful.” Why broadway shows are there, I will never know.

Bodegas are legit. Not everything there is super cheap, though.

I can get asparagus for a dollar, but Cheerios are 5 bucks. Rx bars are maybe 50 cents more and almond butter is like 4 dollars more. I’d say, get most produce there, but the extra stuff you’re gonna wanna go to the real store(more than likely whole foods).

Buying too much at the grocery store isn’t a cute lil meme, its actually the WORST THING YOU CAN DO

Lemme tell you right now, buying groceries is a horrible experience. If you get too much stuff and tragically have to get two bags instead of one, you are about to be very uncomfortable on the train, off the train and walking your dumb butt home. Shopping online was 100% invented by a New Yorker because absolutely no one wants to drag a bunch of bags home. My only advice is that you buy gloves for the winter and get an apartment close to the train (you won’t think thats a big deal at first because you can walk but some day you may have a ripped whole foods bag and will be cursing yourself for that mistake), or by some miracle have a whole foods right by your house.

New Yorkers aren’t mean, they just mind their business and maybe are in a constant irritated state

If anyone in the South sits down and starts chatting with you, it’s weird, but kinda fine. If anyone does that in New York, the person is homeless, insane, or both. Most of the time, New Yorkers are just trying to get wherever they need to go n one piece and quickly. I think this HuffPost article sums it up the best:

Wake up in a small room.
Leave the apartment to grab a coffee. Wait in line.
Get honked at by a cab driver while trying to cross the street (you didn’t cross fast enough).
Get to the subway. Five people push you into the train car because EVERYONE is in a rush.
You’re smushed, and way too close to a stranger for comfort.
Get out of the train, get bumped into by five people trying to cut in front of you to get to the stairs.
Walk into your office building. Wait in line for the elevator.
Try to squeeze into the elevator, but too many people. Wait for the next one.
Get to your desk.

We have a reason to be irritated. You try doing this every single day.

New York during Christmas is a magical experience

Everyone should come here in December at least once. New York probably spend an unholy amount of money to make itself the place to be during Christmas and it shows. There’s so much to do and so little December (and also too many people).

I promise you this, everyone is hustling just as much as you are and also feel like they’re failing

New York can make you feel like you are never doing enough. It costs an extreme amount of money just to exist in this place, so it can feel like you can never catch up. You’re over worked and get paid what can feel like nothing just to live. Sometimes, it feels like everyone else makes more, lives better, has more etc. In reality, whatever person you’re looking at is probably older, has worked for years longer than you or is struggling as well and just looks like they’re better off. No one is posting their failures.

Making friends is hard. You’re gonna have to look like weirdo to make them, but its worth it.

Being blasé about making friends will get you absolutely no where. You’re gonna have to put yourself out there, feel stupid, meet people you don’t necessarily vibe with and even do some stuff by your damn self. You’ll come out on the other side, but the loneliness can be stifling if you let it. Don’t.

Believe what people say, it’s HARD to live here. (It’s worth it)

In case you can’t tell, it is hard to live here. It costs a lot for very little space. There’s a billion people. It smells. You feel FOMO all the time. The winter is death. Sometimes you get up and just wanna go back to sleep for a month because you’re really tired of “rise and grind.” Something that always makes me feel a little better is that, eventually, I won’t live here. I will have done (hopefully) all of the things I wanted to do, and will be tired of all this hustle and bustle and move my butt out of here. The doe-eyed look you get when you first move here is going to fade with the “rat race” of everyday life, but the city still has some tricks up its sleeve if you really want to see it. You have all of your life to experience being slower-paced and settling yourself down. Living here is not for the weak or the slow. Do it now, because the story later is the best to tell. Whether its 1 year or 10, it’s a great career move. You really can make it anywhere if this is where you start. Also it’s really fun to vacation other places and tell people where you live (people automatically think you’re living your best life whether that’s actually true or not).

 

Life The Update: Dreams as Big as My Eyeballs

Highly anticipated and 100% organic cane sugar, ya’ll I’m finally giving you a life update! It took me way too long to write this. As I said in my last update, I’m still not used to the whole “talking about my life and not worrying about what Britney from high school thinks about my post” thing, (for the record, I don’t know a Britney from high school and apologies if you graduated with me and your name is Britney this aint no shade to you girl). My last post was awkward because I was struggling and had a bit of an ego blow. As always, the voice must be silenced and I must continue to be the girl who wore her belt from Brighton my mom bought for me on Ebay even though 10 girls in 7th grade told me how hideous it was whenever I wore it (along with my embarrassing white kitten heels—yeah you read that right). So, like always, I must write this.

 

With that lead up, you might be thinking this is gonna be an awkward post about me failing. I’m very pleased to say how wrong you are. After 1 month of waiting—literally to the day, I am pleased to announce I am the Social Media Coordinator for Memorandum.com! I get to work everyday for someone I’ve admired for almost a year now, which is insane. I finally get to show off my creativity and do something I’ve been itching to do since getting familiar with the blogging world. Still can’t say what the heck my “5 year plan” looks like, but I can tell you it looks a whole lot better than it did at this time last year.

As a girl who always kind of felt stupid for getting a degree in English instead of something practical (and honestly almost switched my Sophomore year). Someone who didn’t get fancy internships, go to a fancy school or know anyone who could help me get here, I always worried about how I would ever be able to get where I wanted to be. I found my passions late in life and I worried I should taken this class or done this extracurricular in order to do what I wanted. If there’s any proof of all that being a big pile of hooey, I want you to know I’m it. Best advice I can give? Always listen to your gut feelings. I’m bordering on being one of those “never stop grinding” gym memes, so I’ll leave it at that. I can finally say without any hesitation: I’m out here living my best life, ya’ll.

 

The Sunday Summary

I haven’t done one of these in MONTHS, so I feel as if I need to update you guys on the things I really like lately. Pay attention (please), this is a good one.

Elf Concealer

I have this weird thing where I have two concealers. One is my expensive concealer for when I wanna look like a pore-less model and one for when I’m just living my everyday life as a regular human—or for when I wanna look good, but not that good. Just me? I happened to be in Target the other day and remembered I was running out of my regular human concealer, as well as my fancy one. A dilemma! On a whim, (and because I didn’t wanna go to the mad house that is Sephora), I bought this. Actually rivals my expensive concealer AND only $3?! I have turned a new leaf.

Graphic Tee Trend?

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I never, In my wildest dreams, thought I would actually like this trend. I love pairing a tee with fancy pants (as seen below), especially patterned pants. Not by any means ready for Fall, (because Winter is next), but I do miss my pants. I’m still hesitant to buy any band t-shirt that I have never listened to, or a shirt that says something horrible like “beast mode.”

RX V.S. Lära Bars

It’s hard to pick which one I like better. RX bars are my personal OG. They have basic ingredients, big, taste amazing and have no added sugar. HOWEVER, Lära bars are making a serious contender. Some of them do have added sugar (usually only about 3g), but follow the same “basic ingredients” principal. They also have some amazing flavors like Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, Coconut Creme Pie and (my personal fave) Lemon Bar. They aren’t as big as RX bars, so I would say that’s their downfall. I know I’m late to the party on these, but maybe someone else is too, okay!!

Running on a Treadmill?

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As you guys may know, I’ve been implementing running back into my daily workouts. I used to run solely outside (in the devil’s heat), but lately, I’ve been using the treadmill. At first, it was a ride on the struggle bus. You have nothing really to pay attention to except maybe a TV you can’t hear. You also aren’t really going anywhere, so it’s just you and your thoughts for however long you can stand it. Since switching to a focus on endurance, instead of focusing on speed, I’m actually enjoying it. I either listen to a podcast, or some of my favorite jams of the moment. Definitely not going fast, but I can usually last longer and run better on the treadmill. As with anything, the more you do it, the better you get.

Book of the Summer: You are a Badass by Jen Sincero

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Late to this party as well, mostly because I figured this book was corny. I decided to switch it up and read a book or two about bettering my life—maybe give the murder mysteries a break. This was surprisingly good and only slightly corny. I would say, keep an open mind when reading. It gave me things to do while on the job hunt and inspired me to change some things in my life. Highly recommend if you feel like you’re struggling with anything or just need some inspiration*~.

 

The Faint of Heart Need Not Apply

I will admit, it took me way too long to write this post.

Not because I’m just so busy (hah), but because I’m always grappling with how much I want to share on here. I’m gonna spoil it for you: this post isn’t necessarily all rainbows and happy-fun-times, which is why it took me so long to write/post. I have to silence the introvert part of my brain that says “OVERSHARE! OVERSHARE! NO ONE WANTS TO KNOW THIS MUCH ABOUT YOU!!! She is very loud and irrationally scared of being judged. As usual, she must be silenced in my quest for true transparency.

It is, although it may not seem like it, hopeful.

A few weeks ago, I had a very important meeting about a job. Not just your run-of-the-mill J-O-B, but something I wanted to do very badly. Let me emphasize that: I wanted this job VERY, VERY BADLY. Enough? Oh man, I thought about it and did all the things to prepare for it. I was determined. I went to the interview and despite being 10 minutes late because of the train and sweaty, I killed it. Not tooting my own horn, I really did. Have you ever gone to an interview where you not only wanted the job, but would put every ounce of passion and determination behind it if you got it? You know you deserve this job, you just have to convince this person, who is not you, that you should get it over anyone else that’s probably equally good if not better. Easy, right?

Afterward, I started doing all the things I thought I would be doing, had I gotten the job. I did all of the things those “self-help” books tell you to do if you want something; act like you already have it. So I did, and I waited. And waited. Just so you know, applying for jobs is a lot of just waiting for people to get back to you. Finally, after a week of waiting I had my answer and it was No. Not literally just an email with the word “no” in bold, that would be horrifying. In different words, but a “no” all the same. So I have my very first soul-crushing “no” under my belt, officially. Am I upset? Yes. Will I be okay? 1,000,000% yes. Mostly because I had already gone through the 7 stages of grief even before I heard back, but also because I will not be stopped. Say that out loud to the all-powerful-universe and tell me that doesn’t give you the chills a little.

This month has been one of the best, but most uncomfortable I’ve ever been. I’ve had to reach out to people, follow up with people, bug people and even message people on Instagram in hopes it will get me where I want to be. I don’t have a clear idea of what that means, but I do know that the things that I’ve been doing lately are getting me there. Therefore, I will not be stopped. As the beautiful and talented Shonda Rhimes said,

Ditch the dream and be a doer, not a dreamer. Maybe you know exactly what it is you dream of being, or maybe you’re paralyzed because you have no idea what your passion is. The truth is, it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to know. You just have to keep moving forward. You just have to keep doing something, seizing the next opportunity, staying open to trying something new. It doesn’t have to fit your vision of the perfect job or the perfect life. Perfect is boring and dreams are not real. Just … do. So you think, “I wish I could travel.” Great. Sell your crappy car, buy a ticket to Bangkok, and go. Right now. I’m serious.

You want to be a writer? A writer is someone who writes every day, so start writing. You don’t have a job? Get one. Any job. Don’t sit at home waiting for the magical opportunity. Who are you? Prince William? No. Get a job. Go to work. Do something until you can do something else. -Dartmouth Commencement Speech 2014

I highly recommend her book as well, The Year of Yes. I’m trying my very hardest to be a doer, not just a dreamer. I can, I will and eventually say “I did.”