2018: What A Year

Can I just say this was the longest year of my life?

I’ve learned a lot about myself that I didn’t know. I did things I never thought I would do. I definitely feel like I’ve matured a lot for just one year, but my 25 year old self might read this and internally groan—who’s to say?

Winter…was rough. Let’s start with the good! I discovered that snow storms are simultaneously amazing and horrifying. You’re scared your pipes will freeze and your heat will go out, but its so quiet and pretty to watch you’ll think you’re actually in heaven. Spent some fun times with Ruby (shout-out to Ruby because I really think I would’ve moved, had I not met her) doing things on my New York bucket list and eating some amazing food. Discovered some cool places near my apartment – like a bakery full of cat things and a place where I frequented to get bagel sandwiches. Christmas in New York is so cute and exciting to be a part of. Pushed myself to learn new things and tried to do things solo to make myself as happy as possible.

When I wrote my “goals” for 2018 and my year in a video, I was in a weird place. I was just starting to feel lonely, sad and very nostalgic. This feeling would definitely be an overriding emotion for the rest of the winter. I don’t know if it was what you’d call “seasonal depressive disorder” or just some serious growing pains, but I would say the winter was hard for me. I spent the majority of the time feeling unsuccessful and beating myself up frequently for not having my life look the way I’d pictured it when I moved to the city. Not just in my career, which I’ve talked about, but in all aspects of my life. I didn’t make a bunch of friends like I assumed I would. I spent 6 months in an apartment I hated and lived above a bar—unsurprisingly the worst place I’ve ever lived. I also went on a clump of last-luster dates and even one with a guy I can confidently say was a (borderline) sociopath. Everything about life doesn’t change immediately. I would say the weekends were hard when I had no plans and was stuck in my loud apartment with nothing to do.

Thankfully, Spring actually came after what felt like a trillion years. I made some really awesome friends and finally had a group that I felt were really my people. I moved to a new apartment and actually enjoyed being at there instead of feeling trapped.

In the summer of 2018, I finally quit my job in order to find something I really loved, which I did. Spent time doing things that inspired me and also had a lot of fun draining all my bank accounts.

Fall was definitely a big blur, but in a good way. I turned another year older with the best people I could ask for. Spent some much needed time at home, and for once, coming back to the city felt exciting instead of dreadful.

Of course, dating life is still pending, but three out of four ain’t bad!

One year ago, I was slightly sad, but very hopeful. I knew my life now  would not be the way it was then. I was right and couldn’t be happier about it. Here’s to more crazy times and doing things that scare the crap out of me.

 

5 Netflix Original Christmas Movies From Worst to Best

 If you’re traveling home for the holidays, your mom probably still has a bunch of DVDs of old as hell Christmas movies you liked when you were like, 7. Netflix is the easiest way to watch movies, these days. No sifting through a million DVDs and starts in mere seconds. While packing and avoiding said packing, I binge a few of these Netflix original Christmas movies. Could they be more corny than Hallmark movies?? Let’s start with number 5:

Christmas Wedding Planner

The gist:

Kelsey plans a Christmas Eve wedding for her best friend and cousin Emily. Trouble ensues when Emily’s ex boyfriend Connor shows up.

Why it’s the worst:

Not even 15 minutes into this movie I said, out loud, “Can I even get through this?” We hear the main character’s inner monologue constantly and it is nauseating. She’s extremely huffy, scatter-brained and says things like “I am a fierce warrior!” to herself. This can’t even be described as corny, it’s just bad. I felt like I was watching a bad scripted reality show. Joey Fatone makes a random appearance and he’s probably the only decent thing in this movie. The ending is the most terrible thing ever. I feel like they got sick of filming it and said “Let’s just wrap this up and make it happy as quickly as possible.” Please save yourself life is too short to watch this movie. Watch the video below but there’s spoilers (but really who cares about spoilers for this movie).

The Princess Switch

The gist:

Baker goes to a foreign country for a baking competition and meets a princess who looks exactly like her. They decide to switch lives because the princess wants to be normal for a few days. Trouble ensues.

Why its #4:

This movie made absolutely no sense.  These two people look exactly alike, but no relation. Uh, yeah sure, Jan. They threw in the obvious necessary tropes such as: “too smart for her own good little kid”, “foreign person who has to have a fake British accent because no one can do any other accents”. Vanessa Hudgens was such a random choice for this movie, but after watching it, I could not tell you what else I’ve seen her in besides High School Musical. Like no shade, but how is she still famous? Also another movies where all 17 loose ends got tied up in the last 7 seconds of the movie. Not the worst thing i’ve ever seen, but still up there.

Christmas Inheritance

The gist:

Rich party girl goes to the small town where her father’s multi-million dollar company got started. Trouble ensues. 

Why it’s #3:

This one wasn’t too bad really. Here’s a small snippet of the script(not really but you get me)

“This is a small town lil lady!”

“Sorry I’m rich and I don’t get it”

“I’m being an asshole guy because I like you!”

Also see: Undercover Boss and The Simple Life starring Paris Hilton and Nicole Riche. Super folksy, not too bad. Got through it very painlessly and almost kinda cute. 

 A Christmas Prince

The gist:

Girl tries to get a story on the Prince of Aldovia. She’s mistaken for his little sister’s new Nanny. Trouble ensues. 

Why it’s #2:

If you’re a new follower and haven’t been acquainted with my scathing review of this movie please enjoy. It’s a bit of a messy post since it’s one of the older ones, but worth it, I think. It’s definitely a love-to-hate-it type movie. Hallmark style corny featuring all the classics: mean-but-misunderstood-little girl, playboy-prince-with-an-actual-heart-of-gold, different-from-all-the-other-girls- girl complete with “takes off glasses and now she’s pretty” makeover. A must-see if you haven’t yet and yes I will be doing a review of the second movie because how could I not?

The Christmas Chronicles

The gist:

Two siblings stay up late on Christmas Eve to catch Santa on video while their mom is working late. Trouble ensues.

Why it’s the best:

This right here? My kind of Christmas movie! Think Santa Clause 1 and add troublesome Charlie from the Santa Clause 2 and subtract annoying whiney Charlie and add cool little girl. Just the right amount of corny and funny, I definitely cried( I cry at almost everything now but still). Kurt Russel was so good and snarky (Tim Allen Santa vibes) even Goldie Hawn makes an appearance! If you wanna spice up your Christmas movie watch list, please add this. I loved it, 10/10. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Dating App Conundrum

When I moved here for an internship my junior year of college, I was the queen of dating apps. I really only used Bumble (this was pre-Hinge) and found pretty decent success. I was broke and knew absolutely no one so dating apps were fun when I was bored and wanted to do something in the city. I also lived in the East Village, which is prime for dating and going out in your 20’s. It gave me some much needed distraction and hey, summer of fun in the city. 

In college back home, I never used them. I had enough success—or should I say I had enough “distractions” going out to bars that I really just didn’t need them. I definitely used them when I was bored and needed a confidence boost, but never really dated anyone from them. I always felt like I had to be constantly talking to someone, so any lull in my boy-craziness needed to be filled with a stint on a dating app that I would give up a week later.

Since moving here, I picked it back up again. I would say 9 out of 10 times are usually a bust. Since I actually live here now and it’s not just a summer vacation, it’s almost a chore. Out of the dates I’ve been on in the last year, only 2 have made it past the first date and only 1 further than that. I was listening to a podcast and a comedian said it best, “I don’t use dating apps because the “vibe” I give off online is not really me. You don’t usually like someone just based on pictures, it’s peoples energy.” I try way too hard on dating apps to sound funny and original, therefore I look like a weirdo. I try to match with people who also sound funny and original on dating apps, therefore I match with guys who aren’t my type more often than not. No idea why that is.

I’d first like to point out some weirdos and just general funny stuff that seems to happen only on dating apps. Ladies, read it and weep—with laughter:

First, let’s start off with some weird trend I’ve been noticing (that definitely need an explanation and a cease and desist):

When answering the question “The last time you cried was…,” an ALARMING amount of men have said the movie Click. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s that really horrible movie with Adam Sandler aka basically every movie he’s in ever. The fact that enough men are crying during this movie that I’ve noticed is so horrible I don’t wanna think about it.  Adam god-damn Sandler, I can’t. 

When asked about their last meal, chicken parmesan is a very popular answer. I think I’ve eaten that once in my whole life. Not a bad choice, but so weird. I guess it’s better than saying pizza, but really only one step up.

Job title as “looking” or “entrepreneur” translates in my brain to “unemployed and will take you to a dive bar and split it.” Just make something up related to what you do or put what you WERE doing, duh.

Linked Instagram accounts: mixed feelings about these because sometimes they add more pictures of the guy. HOWEVER, some people should not. For example, if your entire Instagram is you doing “motivational” videos. I also ran into a guy who had an entire Instagram of….boats. Like maybe keep a little mystery going into date 1, just a thought.

Here’s some gems I managed to screenshot and am very happy I did:

Just trying to match with the general population. Nothing specific
Who’s gonna tell this guy it’s 2018 and everyone has seen Star Wars….
I think I’ll go out to dinner. I don’t fancy being cooked???
Is he here just to make friends??
Can’t communicate, someone help him
Do you live in New York City, yes or no?
This was a solid burn and I don’t feel bad. Okra is DISGUSTING
Thanks Justin! 
33,000 people at LSU but yep, toooootally know him. Also serial killer response
this guy never matched with me because he doesn’t like to be corrected. I really wanna know if he fixed the spelling, it haunts me everyday.
This guy never matched with me either, I mean COMEON he probably never got something so funny he didn’t know how to handle it.
I hope this guy found love cause he deserves it

Lastly, I’d like to say that men are still out here, in 2018, thinking selfies are okay. They are not. Please, please stop taking shirtless pictures, pictures in your car (???), pictures in your bathroom mirror with your leg on the sink (this is a real picture I saw of a guy who had the AUDACITY TO MATCH WITH ME. If you want to see it DM me). I know for a fact your mom makes you take pictures every Christmas, your fired who are girls take pictures of you or get your bro to take one I DONT CARE. No selfies in 2019 thank you. 

Needless to say, I deleted them all recently. I think it’s a good idea to take breaks from dating apps. I haven’t in a while and I have to say I really don’t miss it. If it gets monotonous, delete it. You don’t need to waste energy and good makeup on a boring date! All the power to you if you like them and you met your boyfriend/husband/soulmate, but I’m tired and its getting cold as hell. I’ll be watching Christmas movies and hanging with my friends until further notice.


How To Survive in NYC (for a year)

I have to preface this by saying, I only know how to survive here for a year so far, so take this how you will.

It’s crazy as hell to think I’ve been living here for a whole year. Can I make it anywhere now? Just kidding, I have not “made it.” I do think I could probably live anywhere now. I’ve said it before, but this has been a long year, but also a very short year. So much is different, including myself. Not to sound fake deep and corny, but moving here has really changed me and tested me. Sometimes when I really didn’t want to change or be tested (the city really be testing me a lot).

It didn’t start out all rainbows and kisses, though. This also marks the day I missed my 6 am flight (never again), had a 4 hour layover, broke down because I couldn’t figure out how to get into the Airbnb I had rented and finally collapsing into sleep at 2 am after realizing I was trying to open the wrong door. Some of my experiences here have been just like that: a mess.

Obviously, not everything about NYC is messy. Cool things happen here all the time, like Christmas, full bands in the middle of the subway station, going to very fancy places when you are not fancy. Sometimes, just walking around is my favorite thing I did all day.

Anyway, these are the things I’ve learned since living here. Also, a few tips if you move here.

 

Unlimited subway passes are not for “rich people”

First of all, rich people aren’t taking the subway. Second, if you don’t get the unlimited and you have to commute for work everyday, you’re gonna be spending more money for no reason. This is generic, but I did it for like two months and would choose between walking somewhere and taking the train.

Figure out the easiest way to get home at night and at normal times

Okay, so the trains are ridiculous after like 9pm on a weekday and weekends. Sometimes they run late night, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they tell you, and sometimes they don’t. If you only know one train home, you’re gonna be screwed. Figure it out now, or freak out when its dark and scary. Your choice ladies. My advice, always know how to get home from Union Square. Almost every train passes through there, so it’s a very easy spot to get to.

Always charge your phone. I repeat. ALWAYS CHARGE YOUR PHONE

Or keep one of those dorky battery packs with you. I choose to charge because that doesn’t fit in my cute, small, purse. I say this because there may come a night when your phone dies, you have no idea where you are and you decided to keep talking to a guy who has now ditched you. This will be very terrifying at 4 am. Charge your phone, or cry because you don’t know how to get to the L from where you are. (also, before someone calls me out, I was in the west village so the streets were not numbered!!!).

All pizza basically tastes the same. Don’t believe the hype.

Lemme tell you, I’ve had a lot of pizza in my time here and I still like the dollar slices.   Maybe that makes me a cheap date, but I will accept this title with pride. Everyone here acts like a pizza snob because some people put some noodles on it or an extra blob of cheese. Also, Joe’s pizza sucks. Catch me standing in a horrendous line for burnt pizza, I have lost my mind.

Just take the Uber to the Airport, unless you want to spend all day trying to get there.

If you have all day to kill and want to be cheap, go for it. If you wanna go to work half-day and then fly, DO NOT TRY TO TAKE THE TRAIN OR BUS. It’s just not worth the inevitable “hi can I skip you? my flight is leaving in 10 minutes and if I don’t make it I may cry right here in front of you and that is awkward for everyone involved.”

Don’t live in New Jersey

Just don’t. There’s only one train and it’s slow. You’ll never convince me otherwise

Times Square is horrifying

I thought so when I moved here and it has only been solidified since I had to work near it. No where else will you run into people just standing around looking up or a creepy dude in an Iron Man costume saying “oh my god you look so good hello beautiful.” Why broadway shows are there, I will never know.

Bodegas are legit. Not everything there is super cheap, though.

I can get asparagus for a dollar, but Cheerios are 5 bucks. Rx bars are maybe 50 cents more and almond butter is like 4 dollars more. I’d say, get most produce there, but the extra stuff you’re gonna wanna go to the real store(more than likely whole foods).

Buying too much at the grocery store isn’t a cute lil meme, its actually the WORST THING YOU CAN DO

Lemme tell you right now, buying groceries is a horrible experience. If you get too much stuff and tragically have to get two bags instead of one, you are about to be very uncomfortable on the train, off the train and walking your dumb butt home. Shopping online was 100% invented by a New Yorker because absolutely no one wants to drag a bunch of bags home. My only advice is that you buy gloves for the winter and get an apartment close to the train (you won’t think thats a big deal at first because you can walk but some day you may have a ripped whole foods bag and will be cursing yourself for that mistake), or by some miracle have a whole foods right by your house.

New Yorkers aren’t mean, they just mind their business and maybe are in a constant irritated state

If anyone in the South sits down and starts chatting with you, it’s weird, but kinda fine. If anyone does that in New York, the person is homeless, insane, or both. Most of the time, New Yorkers are just trying to get wherever they need to go n one piece and quickly. I think this HuffPost article sums it up the best:

Wake up in a small room.
Leave the apartment to grab a coffee. Wait in line.
Get honked at by a cab driver while trying to cross the street (you didn’t cross fast enough).
Get to the subway. Five people push you into the train car because EVERYONE is in a rush.
You’re smushed, and way too close to a stranger for comfort.
Get out of the train, get bumped into by five people trying to cut in front of you to get to the stairs.
Walk into your office building. Wait in line for the elevator.
Try to squeeze into the elevator, but too many people. Wait for the next one.
Get to your desk.

We have a reason to be irritated. You try doing this every single day.

New York during Christmas is a magical experience

Everyone should come here in December at least once. New York probably spend an unholy amount of money to make itself the place to be during Christmas and it shows. There’s so much to do and so little December (and also too many people).

I promise you this, everyone is hustling just as much as you are and also feel like they’re failing

New York can make you feel like you are never doing enough. It costs an extreme amount of money just to exist in this place, so it can feel like you can never catch up. You’re over worked and get paid what can feel like nothing just to live. Sometimes, it feels like everyone else makes more, lives better, has more etc. In reality, whatever person you’re looking at is probably older, has worked for years longer than you or is struggling as well and just looks like they’re better off. No one is posting their failures.

Making friends is hard. You’re gonna have to look like weirdo to make them, but its worth it.

Being blasé about making friends will get you absolutely no where. You’re gonna have to put yourself out there, feel stupid, meet people you don’t necessarily vibe with and even do some stuff by your damn self. You’ll come out on the other side, but the loneliness can be stifling if you let it. Don’t.

Believe what people say, it’s HARD to live here. (It’s worth it)

In case you can’t tell, it is hard to live here. It costs a lot for very little space. There’s a billion people. It smells. You feel FOMO all the time. The winter is death. Sometimes you get up and just wanna go back to sleep for a month because you’re really tired of “rise and grind.” Something that always makes me feel a little better is that, eventually, I won’t live here. I will have done (hopefully) all of the things I wanted to do, and will be tired of all this hustle and bustle and move my butt out of here. The doe-eyed look you get when you first move here is going to fade with the “rat race” of everyday life, but the city still has some tricks up its sleeve if you really want to see it. You have all of your life to experience being slower-paced and settling yourself down. Living here is not for the weak or the slow. Do it now, because the story later is the best to tell. Whether its 1 year or 10, it’s a great career move. You really can make it anywhere if this is where you start. Also it’s really fun to vacation other places and tell people where you live (people automatically think you’re living your best life whether that’s actually true or not).

 

The Sunday Summary

I haven’t done one of these in MONTHS, so I feel as if I need to update you guys on the things I really like lately. Pay attention (please), this is a good one.

Elf Concealer

I have this weird thing where I have two concealers. One is my expensive concealer for when I wanna look like a pore-less model and one for when I’m just living my everyday life as a regular human—or for when I wanna look good, but not that good. Just me? I happened to be in Target the other day and remembered I was running out of my regular human concealer, as well as my fancy one. A dilemma! On a whim, (and because I didn’t wanna go to the mad house that is Sephora), I bought this. Actually rivals my expensive concealer AND only $3?! I have turned a new leaf.

Graphic Tee Trend?

Processed with VSCO with p5 preset

I never, In my wildest dreams, thought I would actually like this trend. I love pairing a tee with fancy pants (as seen below), especially patterned pants. Not by any means ready for Fall, (because Winter is next), but I do miss my pants. I’m still hesitant to buy any band t-shirt that I have never listened to, or a shirt that says something horrible like “beast mode.”

RX V.S. Lära Bars

It’s hard to pick which one I like better. RX bars are my personal OG. They have basic ingredients, big, taste amazing and have no added sugar. HOWEVER, Lära bars are making a serious contender. Some of them do have added sugar (usually only about 3g), but follow the same “basic ingredients” principal. They also have some amazing flavors like Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, Coconut Creme Pie and (my personal fave) Lemon Bar. They aren’t as big as RX bars, so I would say that’s their downfall. I know I’m late to the party on these, but maybe someone else is too, okay!!

Running on a Treadmill?

Processed with VSCO with p5 preset

As you guys may know, I’ve been implementing running back into my daily workouts. I used to run solely outside (in the devil’s heat), but lately, I’ve been using the treadmill. At first, it was a ride on the struggle bus. You have nothing really to pay attention to except maybe a TV you can’t hear. You also aren’t really going anywhere, so it’s just you and your thoughts for however long you can stand it. Since switching to a focus on endurance, instead of focusing on speed, I’m actually enjoying it. I either listen to a podcast, or some of my favorite jams of the moment. Definitely not going fast, but I can usually last longer and run better on the treadmill. As with anything, the more you do it, the better you get.

Book of the Summer: You are a Badass by Jen Sincero

Processed with VSCO with p5 preset

Late to this party as well, mostly because I figured this book was corny. I decided to switch it up and read a book or two about bettering my life—maybe give the murder mysteries a break. This was surprisingly good and only slightly corny. I would say, keep an open mind when reading. It gave me things to do while on the job hunt and inspired me to change some things in my life. Highly recommend if you feel like you’re struggling with anything or just need some inspiration*~.

 

A Definitive Argument For Being “Picky”

 

I have been what normal people would classify as “single” basically my entire existence (save for about 4 horrifying months which I’m just not even gonna count anymore). However, I was “dating” my entire college life and it was less than enjoyable if you can guess. “Dating” I would classify as anyone you spend time with, hook-up with on a regular basis and/or drunk cry about when they don’t text you back after a certain amount of months. My college existence was an endless cycle of this. Meet a guy, go out with him, meet his friends, get invested, and fizzle into nothing more than a sad thought after too much vodka. Then, start all that all over again with some other dude. My mom would always say, “It’s because you’re too picky! A guy doesn’t have to be super hot!” Those words stuck in my mind every time I thought, “okay I don’t like this about him maybe we shouldn’t talk anymore.” My mom’s voice would come into my head and so, I resolved to stick it out. “Give him a chance” and “you’re too picky” is the shady form of “this guy likes you so you should date him even if you don’t like him because you might not ever get someone to like you again” Which is a terrifying thing to a woman, I mean, how do we survive if there isn’t a guy who likes us? No one has ever claimed that men are too picky and single, they’re just “bachelors sewin’ their wild oats,” or whatever. Guys are some of the most picky people on the planet and yet, I don’t see anyone claiming they need to change.

There’s a lot of pressure, as a single person, to be actively trying to date someone. So much so, that there’s a market for it, hence dating apps. Since moving here, men are everywhere and nowhere, simultaneously. Supposedly, there are millions of men in New York City, and I’ve yet to discover a single decent male I didn’t have to first meet on a dating app. Working in fashion meant I saw about 2 humans of the male variety, all of which, are gay. That means, if I want to meet someone I have to meet them either randomly (coffee shop, gym, subway?), at a bar or on a dating app. My preferred method has been the apps. Easiest and fastest way to meet people and not having to be on “patrol” for guys everywhere I go. Dating apps are the one place where you can embrace your “picky.” Weird picture? Bye. He’s only 5’6″? Nope. Then you start to weed through a lot of guys really fast and you think “well maybe height isn’t a huge deal” or “yeah he lives in Jersey and I live in Brooklyn but it could work!” Why are you forcing yourself to sacrifice all the things you want in a guy just because it’s taking a hot second to actually find it? I’ve been with some guys who have been the absolute worst just to, “give them a chance,” and at the end of it I just thought, “Why did I even waste my precious time?” Women have been crucified for having a check-list for the perfect dude so much that we now have to just date whoever comes along. Yes, sometimes you can find things in people you never saw coming, but wasting energy on people you have no interest in is, well, a waste. I wouldn’t say the guys I actually liked checked all my invisible “boxes,” but the things I would sacrifice in order to just date someone were readily available in other people if I would’ve just chilled the F out for a few months. So often we settle for “fine” because it’s comfortable in a relationship. You like them, but something is off, and you stay because you don’t want to have to start all over with someone else. Relationships are fun, but also should be exciting and way more than just “fine.”

Doing a quick Google search about being picky in a relationship can yield a plethora of articles about how to “fix” it. I get it; don’t be picky because you could also miss a great guy! I think we just get too lonely and next thing you know, the list goes totally out the window just so we can stop feeling so horrible about being single. What I’m trying to say is, don’t throw out your checklist. Remember the episode of Friends where Chandler resolves to not be picky anymore and goes out with the girl who has the weird nostrils and stick it out with the girl who has mascara goop in her eyes? Guess what, he should’ve left those girls in the dust because at the end of the day, they weren’t right for him and truned out to be real weirdos. One of them left him locked up to a desk with no pants on.  Fictional example, but it holds up. Embrace being picky about who you date and spend time with, no matter how old you get, how long you’ve been single or how many holidays you have to say “Yep, still single and picky.”

 

Life: The Update

One thing I am really trying to do with this whole blog thing is be as real as possible. There’s 18188450401 thousand bloggers out there posting their outfits and their liketoknowit things everyday and that’s it. There’s no real engagement with people who follow them or any personal hints into their own lives. I totally get it, their Instagrams are just a business, a job they need to get done. There’s something to be said about shared experiences as humans. Stay with me here, I know I sound corny, but the biggest thing I learned while studying copious amounts of literature is that we love to be validated and feel included in our consumption of entertainment. What I mean by that is, we love watching, reading, listening, engaging with things that relate to us and our lives and things that make us say “hah I get that! I must be in this cool group of cool people who get that.” Literally for CENTURIES, people have loved “relatable” shit all the way back to Shakespeare. Everyone wants to be liked and everyone wants to be a part of some sort of group, I don’t care who you are.

Taking that into consideration, I one hundred percent believe in sharing my experiences with people. I know social media and blogging is seen as taboo, but it’s not going anywhere anytime soon, so take advantage. I’ve met some amazing girls just from replying to people’s insta stories and I can’t tell you how valuable that is. Therefore, I wanted to share this with you guys: I quit my job. I quit my good-paying, very nice, very stable job so that I can fall head-first into unknown territory and hope I don’t fall flat on my face (and move back to Louisiana and live with my mom). I must be crazy, right? The job I had was mostly a lot of data. It had almost nothing to do with writing or editing or anything creative whatsoever. As long as its money, I thought, that’s the most important thing. I could do my blog on the side and everything would be fine! Turns out, money isn’t everything and I started to just feel drained. I was blogging, but half-assed. My heart really wasn’t in it and I definitely was holding back. I made money, but I felt like I never got to spend any of it because I always felt broke. I went on one interview with a very snooty girl who blatantly asked me, “So what are your goals?” Very easy question and I almost said what I’d been saying for years: Editor. Of course this job had nothing to do with editing, so I had to just make up something I knew she probably wanted to hear. After that, I mentally shook myself and thought, “WHAT AM I DOING?” People kept telling me how I was “living my best life,” but it was starting to feel like I was only doing that on weekends.

Call me crazy, but I wanna be one of those people who actually enjoys what I have to wake up and do every morning. We’ve normalized the notion that doing what you actually want to do with your life isn’t attainable and hating your job is “fine.” I didn’t pack up my whole life, buy a one-way ticket, and stay in a weird apartment above a bar, with a bunch of DUDES for six months so that my life could be “fine.” I came here to do what I’ve always wanted to do because when I’m old and grey sitting on my wrap-around porch in North Carolina, (or south Carolina, I’m not picky), I want to say with certainty that at the very least I gave it my best shot.

For now, I’ll be posting and writing a lot more since my blog has been taking a back seat. Thanks for following me on my strange journey and send me some good vibes, (plz).

Staying Motivated and Getting Through the “Funk”

Ever have those days where you internally “ugh” at everything in your life and you wanna just stay in bed until you’re 30 and will hopefully have everything figured out?

A sum of of my emotions this past week would be a resounding “over it.”

Work?

Over it.

Commuting?

Over it.

Dating?

Over it.

Paying bills?

Over it.

Being an adult and having to do things I don’t wanna do all the time without crying or throwing a fit?

Over.It.

I like to call this the “funk” and let’s just say the weather this week has definitely matched my mood. So how do I get out of it and return to normal again? Here are some tips.

  1. Recognize it

Sometimes, I’ll get in the “funk” because of stupid things and just wanna give up on everything. Suddenly, everything is questionable in my life and its just a scary spiral of self-doubt. Is my life actually trash? No doofus, your life is fine, it’s your emotions that need to get it together. Lately it’s just been me putting pressure on myself to be at a certain point in my career. Everyone moves at different paces in their lives and there’s no “certain time” to have accomplished anything. Take a step back and remember it’s just a feeling. Also, probably stop looking at blogger Instagrams where all they do is travel with their friends (not real life guys, sorry).

2. Wallow if needed (a little)

Sounds counter productive, but feeling sad/mad/annoyed about something for a little while can make you feel so much better after. Yes, there’s no real reason I should feel that way because I have ___ or ____ and I’m so lucky, but that doesn’t mean my feelings aren’t valid. It could be worse, of course, but don’t beat yourself up about being a human. No one can be happy all of the time.

3.  Do your version of “a hot bath”

This could be literally taking a hot bath, or maybe going to a yoga class, or watching some Netflix with wine, or hanging out with a friend. Mine happens to be writing (hence this post) and watching one of my favorite movies. This is just your idea of something to relax you, make you feel good, and forget everything for a while; whatever that may be.

4. Reset your goals

Sometimes, the “funk” happens because you’ve just been floating through life and you’ve been neglecting the goals you set for yourself. Remember why you started and think of what you could be doing in order to get closer to those goals. Living in the moment is great, but also remember where you wanna be and what steps you still need to take in order to get there.

 

With all the social media you’re exposed to, sometimes you can feel like you’re not where you should be in your life. I sometimes get down because I’m not making X amount of money or I don’t get to go on as many trips as other people or I should just be doing more in general. Your journey is your own and try not to get down just because other people appear “better off.” At the end of the day, we’re just some floating blobs, on a dust speck, worried about how much green paper we have.  In deep trench of the “funk” remember that everything can change in a second, good or bad, try not to over think it.

 

The Broke Girl’s Guide: Apartment Hunting in NYC

Finding an apartment back home was pretty easy-peasy. You go to the one closest to school, with the nicest pool of course and your dad pays your rent! It’s fab! Here, its difficult, difficult, lemon difficult. Those cool apartments with the nice pools are now like $4,000 a month and you live with 5 other people. Also, you have to make like at least 50K, send a letter from your work saying “hey she works here or whatever,” have good credit, and also give them your soul as collateral. Don’t wanna do that? Same! Now you’re gonna have to work to find a place and it is not fun.

My first time around looking for a place did not go as planned. I waited until about two weeks before I had to move before I started looking, first mistake. I would say you need to start looking AT LEAST 1 month before you wanna move, maybe even more. That’s the first tip:

  1. Start looking as early as possible in order to weed out the prison-cell-looking places and get something decent.

That’s the other thing I learned very quickly in NYC: people live in the scariest looking places for thousands of dollars a month. I can’t tell you how many places I walked into, just to walk right out and “nope” really hard. Everyone wants to be in this city, so people are basically willing to live anywhere. I, am a diva, and I like to live in a nice, cute spot that’s decorated and smells nice. Also, I don’t wanna pay over budget or live with 5 people and 1 bathroom. Sounds easy enough, right? Nope, guess again my naive friend! This is why I looked early.

Despite this, I still didn’t follow another very crucial rule:

2. If you find a place you actually like, jump on it immediately.

I found an amazing place that was basically a studio for amazingly cheap, but held back cause it was slightly more than I wanted to pay. Waited mere hours before taking it and someone had taken it immediately after seeing it. That’s the thing about NYC: shit moves FAST. If there’s an amazing place, chances are there’s at least 10 other people looking at it so lock it down if you love it. I’m still bitter I lost that place, low-key.

I read this one bloggers tips for finding a place and she couldn’t have been more out of touch (no offense). She suggested a bunch of sites like Street Easy and “just ask the doorman!” This is sound advice if you make 40x the rent of whatever your looking at, have a roommate already (or living with your S/O) or if you have someone to co-sign. I had none of these being that I don’t make a lot, I knew about 3 people and none of them were looking to move and my dad doesn’t live in New York and for some reason that’s sketchy and they don’t want you. My next tip would be:

3. Join Facebook groups that post apartments for sublease, they’re probably your best resource for good places.

I used Gypsy Housing to find the place I have now. Craigslist is also a good source. Unlike in the South, its not a sketch-zone and you usually get normal people just trying to sell stuff. You do have a few sketchy people on any site, I won’t lie, but go with your gut. If something feels off, don’t sign or give anyone any money.

I’ve now lived in three different apartments in less than a year and one of the most important things I learned was this:

4. Find a place you feel comfortable, not just somewhere to sleep.

This can be pretty hard in the city, considering you never really know what you’re gonna get with a place. My first place here was one I definitely couldn’t wait to get out of, so I’m glad it was just an Airbnb. Try to find a place you can make your own, and people who don’t drive you insane to live with.

My moral here: NYC is a stressful city. It’s loud, cold half of the time, smells weird and people are everywhere. You have to have somewhere that you can relax, de-stress, and curl up in a head blanket with a cookie when times are rough. It can take some time to find it, but it’s worth investing in.

 

Adventures in Crazy Workouts: CorePower Yoga

One of the newer workouts in the great city of New York is CorePower yoga. As the self-proclaimed Queen of Cardio, this yoga craze thing is not something I take part in. I don’t consider “stretching” to be a workout and therefore never do it. At all. Which is kinda bad I think? I never really give my muscles a chance to recover or whatever yoga does for them. I’m forcing myself to do different workouts in order to:

  1. Not get super bored working out and doing the same stuff every time
  2. Maybe change my body, have more overall tone and use different muscles??
  3. I feel like its good for me, according to random people

I challenged myself to do a week of CorePower yoga (on top of the other stuff I do). I started on Saturday, which just also happened to be the day I moved apartments. I decided to do the Hot Fusion class and I actually really enjoyed myself! None of the moves were super challenging or anything I couldn’t do as a mere beginner and newbie. It was definitely hot, but not too bad. I sweat like crazy, but I felt like I got a pretty decent workout in. 

I tried to go again on Sunday, but after moving my entire life the day before, I coolant muster the strength. I decided to go again on Thursday and chose the Core Power 2 class. I definitely should have read the description for this class because I was not prepared for what I signed up for. I ASSUMED it would just be a casual, normal, yoga class. Since there was no indication from the title of said class that it was “hot,” I assumed it would be air conditioned normally. I was wrong in my assumption. Not only that, it quiet possibly was the hottest I’ve ever been in my life inside of a building or honestly anywhere in my life. I’m so very glad I decided to wash my face before I went because I would have most definitely sweat it off anyway. I didn’t take off my waterproof mascara and that shit went right into my eyeballs as did gallons of sweat. I washed my hair that morning and even the ENDS of my hair were wet. I can’t talk enough about how hot and sweaty this class was I literally almost walked out simply so I could BREATHE AIR. My yoga mat definitely doubled as a slip-n-slide by the end. The actual yoga part was very good, a little more challenging, but still do-able. I was going to go again on Saturday, but after actually reading the description of the classes I was like “I’m not washing my hair after this I refuse” so I only used two classes out of my free week. 

Also funny side note: At the end of the class, the instructor played this like soothing music so we could like idk, relax in our pool of sweat, and I was like “huh this song sounds familiar.” I thought maybe I had it on some weird sleep playlist or something and then I remembered its the super annoying emotional song they play every time something intense happens between Fitzgerald and Olivia on Scandal. It got to the point where when I was binging Scandal I wanted to skip their parts because they play it EVERY TIME. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then I suggest you get some damn culture in your life and watch Scandal. 

Overall, I liked the classes. I could not do yoga like, by itself, but every now and then, I can handle. I definitely won’t be doing any more hot yoga classes at least for a while.