Read and Review: May Reading List

Finally May! Feels like the year is going quick but also not at the same time? It’s technically spring but I’m still freezing my butt off in NYC otherwise known as the arctic tundra. Hope it’s all warm and sunny wherever you are, but don’t rub it in.

Read a bunch of stuff recently and figured I should share my yes and no’s for the month’s reading list!

The Death of Mrs. Westaway

The GistTarot Card reader down on her luck receives a letter claiming she is to inherit a fortune, however,she immediately finds out they have the wrong person.

Thoughts and Feels: I got about half way through this book before I was like “I can’t.” I hate not finishing books, but this one was just so boring. The characterization of the main girl was bad, so I really wasn’t invested in what happened to her. If I don’t care about the main character, it’s a really hard read. I would say she was better at describing scenery than characters. I also kept getting confused on the time period because it sounded like the early 1900s but it was actually the 90s.

Rating: 0/10 just skip it. nothing interesting about it

The Proposal

The Gist: Girl gets randomly proposed to at a baseball game by her boyfriend on the jumbo tron and rejects the guy. It’s a love story, don’t worry.

Thoughts and Feels: This one I liked! It was cute, but predictable. Sometimes you just need a good rom-com after all the thrillers and murder mysteries

Rating: 8/10 cute, but like not the best thing I’ve ever read

The Outsider

The Gist: A boy is brutally murdered in a small town. Police think they have the suspect, but that’s just the beginning. 

Thoughts and Feels: I’m embarrassed to say this was my first Stephen King. Also embarrassed to say it did freak me out for a couple nights trying to sleep. It starts off like a normal murder mystery, but he adds a supernatural element towards the middle. Not gonna give anything away but it’s pretty creepy stuff. As I assume with all Stephen King novels, it was very well written. Switches between a few character perspectives, fantastic character development and just all around good story. Longest book I’ve read in a while, but worth it. 

Rating: 10/10 creepy in the best way

The Lying Game

The Gist: Woman goes back to her childhood boarding school in order to help her friend.

Thoughts and Feels: If you think that description is weirdly short, you’re right. There’s no other way to describe it without giving anything away other than saying very little. Managed to finish this one, but really wasn’t super into it. Ruth Ware books have a way of jumping right into the story, but not making it a very interesting one. The main character also brings her 6 month old baby everywhere which seemed very unnecessary? Not great, but the idea was pretty okay-ish.

Rating: 5/10 probably just skip it

Where the Crawdads Sing

The Gist: For years, rumors of the “Marsh Girl” have haunted Barkley Cove, a quiet town on the North Carolina coast. So in late 1969, when handsome Chase Andrews is found dead, the locals immediately suspect Kya Clark, the so-called Marsh Girl. But Kya is not what they say. Sensitive and intelligent, she has survived for years alone in the marsh that she calls home, finding friends in the gulls and lessons in the sand. Then the time comes when she yearns to be touched and loved. When two young men from town become intrigued by her wild beauty, Kya opens herself to a new life–until the unthinkable happens

Thoughts and Feels: Had to copy and paste the actual summary because my “gist” was going to be something along the lines of “girl who grows up utterly alone find love. Also someone dies?” which sounds like a stupid book. Not gonna lie, when I saw this on the best seller list, I rolled my eyes. I hate the word “craw-dad,” but since its not based in Louisiana, I let it slide. I’m glad I did because this book was phenomenal. Reads almost like a biography, switching from the past to the current state A.K.A the murder. Couldn’t put it down and loved the ending.

Rating:10/10 devoured it

The Woman in Cabin 10

The Gist: Woman goes on a luxury trip on a yacht for work that turns into a possible murder mystery.

Thoughts and Feels: Here we are with another Ruth Ware. Went on a kind of rampage reading them. This one I’d say was the best one. Didn’t hate the main character, although there were times where I wished she’d kept her damn cool–if that makes any sense. Not predictable and went through it pretty quickly.

Rating: 6/10 no Karin Slaughter, but pretty decent

 

Let’s Be Real: Is ClassPass Worth It?

Starting a new series today, whoop! I was trying to do what I did with the “Sunday Summary” that I used to do, but maybe make it less lame? Trying new things is my favorite thing so this is more of an in-depth at the stuff I like. Enjoy, nerds.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been a workout person for about 10 years now. I’ve done pretty much everything from pilates, weight training, running, back to pilates, cardio HITT, and back to weight training. A couple of years ago, I started trying workout classes at my college gym. I started with a 7 AM cycling class and pretty soon I was doing any one I could fit into my schedule. Who knew I would like sweating with other people? Luckily for me, that gym was in my tuition and so none of those classes ever cost me an extra dime. Unfortunately, you can’t stay in college and live the good life forever.

Since moving to the city, I didn’t have the luxury of a free gym with free classes. Gym memberships that included classes were a little steep for me, so I stuck to taking about one workout class a month. Your basic first time class at an NYC studio is around 30 bucks a class–sometimes free if you’re lucky. Every place will have some sort of package, but the only way to get an unlimited amount of classes is to pay upwards of $300. That cuts right into my booze and outfit money, so, hard pass. Also you can only take that certain class–cycling, barre, yoga etc.

ClassPass, here to solve all of your problems. It’s a place where you pay a certain amount a month, which gives you a certain amount of “credits” to book any kind of workout class you can dream of in the city. I have the lowest plan where you pay 50 bucks a month to get 27 credits. I usually can book around 2-3 classes a month since most classes are 10 credits. You might be saying, wait only 3 classes a month? That’s nothing. Yes, Deborah, you’re right that’s not a lot, but keep in mind I was spending around $30 on one class. In my research for this I also discovered you can get a Blink all access gym membership (which is the gym I go to) and get 45 credits a month for $94. Which I’m switching to as soon as my membership runs out this month, spoiler alert. I’ve done HITT classes, barre, yoga sculpt, cycling and I’m trying boxing this week!

So let’s be real:  If you love going to workout classes and hate spending a trillion dollars, yes! I wish I would’ve done this sooner

Live From New York It’s the Skin Update

Well hey, its been literally over two months since I posted anything on here… Do I have any explanation? Lack of inspiration? Not really knowing what to talk about? Feeling like  I’ve been just writing things for the sake of writing things? Haven’t been meditating and my mind is all over the place? Yes, yes, yes, and YES.

Honestly, I kept putting it off and then it got to a point where I was like, okay now it’d be lame if I posted that after THIS long. I do really feel I should update you on my skin situation. Let’s start with the bad news?

I don’t use honey as face wash anymore. I’m not sure why, but once winter came, my jawline was breaking out so bad I was getting super self-conscious about it. I tried to ride it out, but at some point I had to go with my skin and try other things. For now, I’ve moved back to good ole soap. I use this in the morning and this at night. My skin still isn’t perfect, but my jawline cleared up almost immediately. Which was a sign I really needed to switch. I’m thinking about going to oil based cleansers in the near future.

My skin responds really well to two things, coconut oil and lemon juice. I’m not sure why, but I’ve been using coconut oil as a moisturizer as well and its been amazing! My skin is normally super oily, but lately its been dry in patches on my t-zone area. All of that to say, I’ll be using both until my–hopefully–timely death, thanks.

The last thing that has been a real game changer for me: Collagen. I would say this is one thing thats transformed my skin and gotten rid of scarring the best. Some people really like it for hair, nail and eyelash growth! I’m pretty blessed in those departments, so the most apparent change has been in my skin. I recently switched to this kind and I just pop it into my coffee every morning!

That’s a wrap! Starting a new series late this week (probably next week) so stay tuned for that!

Love You, But Get Over Yourself

It’s Valentine’s Day! Everyone today is talking about self-love and loving yourself matter if you’re single or dating someone or you married, which is great! Do that! Today I wanted to shake it up and talk about something a little bit different. I talked a little bit about this on my Instagram stories, which if you’re not following me on Instagram you should be, hello. I somehow inspired myself to write this little reminder for you, on this day of love of you and/or someone else.

I had a moment, well more than a moment, more like 6 months in my life where I gained weight when I first moved to New York. I haven’t talked about it at all because, really not in the best place yet to discuss it(but I’m getting there).  It was not the best time considering all the crazy changes happening in my life. I started off with a very low self-esteem as a kid. It’s gotten way better over the years but it’s still not amazing especially when it comes to my body. I had very weird relationship with food and still struggle with it! So when I gained weight for the first time in forever, I panicked. I didn’t know what the heck was going on, I was not happy about it and it only got worse once I started focusing on it.

I spent a lot of time last summer putting on clothes that I had been wearing for years and noticing that they didn’t look the same way or I didn’t feel the same way in them. It got to a point where I wasn’t even sure what size I was anymore and so I stopped buying new clothes because it would bum me out. At the end of the day, I still had to live my life. I wasn’t gonna sit in my room and cry about it even though that’s really what really what I wanted to do. Summer is the most fun, so a lot of the time I just had to put on what I had and try not to think about it.

Nobody noticed or cared except for me and I think that’s one of the things that got me out of the house half the time is nobody is going to notice. Nobody cares about me, nobody looks at myself the way I do or looks at me in the critical way that I do. That has helped me more than anything, so I guess today I’m preaching get over yourself. Nobody cares what you look like half the time, nobody noticed the pimple on your face, nobody noticed that you look a little bloated today. Everyone else is way too busy thinking about how they look, feel and act to also worry about you and your crap!

The people who love you and the people that matter, don’t give a singular crap about the dumb, awful things you think about you. It’s nice to know you’re the only one who cares about every single thought in your head or about what you look like every single day! Obviously love yourself, don’t think that you’re a piece of crap because you gained a little weight or you have a pimple on your face or you did something embarrassing 2 months ago.

Some of the best times I’ve had in my life were when I sucked it up and did whatever it was regardless of how I felt about my outward appearance.

Read and Review: Your February Reading List

I’ve been meaning to do this for ages, since I love reading and sharing which books I loved. However, in earlier months, I’ve just managed a couple of books and who wants one review a month? I need a whole list. So I hunkered down and managed to read 5 this month, which I consider a feat, thank you very much! Especially with Netflix putting out new TV I want to binge once a week (help). Anyway, here’s all the books I read and how I liked them! Enjoy

The Handmaid’s Tale

The Gist: Post apocalyptic world where some women are servants and men control everything. Yeah that’s it

Thoughts and Feels: I read this mostly because it’s a show and instead of paying for Hulu, I decided to read the book. It was a relatively fast read, but only because I kept waiting for it to get good. The premise is really interesting, but left a lot to the imagination. I never understood people’s roles or what really happened to cause this societal shift? It’s one of those books where the end leaves you to come up with your own conclusion, which as a write myself, feels like a cop out.

 Rating: 4/10-Meh

Pieces of Her

The Gist: Andrea moves back to her hometown in Georgia after her mother becomes ill. Her and her mother experience a tragic shooting that leaves Andrea questioning everything she thought she knew about her mother and her own life.

Thoughts and Feels: Twists! Turns! Murder! I’m here for it! I love a good murder mystery and this one was insane. I love a good book that just absolutely consumes my life and I read it every free second I have. It’s one of those really rare books that you don’t guess the end or half of the things that happen, for that matter.

Rating: 10/10-please read

Cop Town

The Gist: Atlanta cops Kate Murphy and Maggie Lawson work to uncover a cop killer, while navigating life as a female police officer in the 1970’s. Let’s just say it’s not easy.

Thoughts and Feels: I LOVED THIS ONE. All about bad ass lady cops in the 70s what more could you want? Also the whole crazy-dont-know-what’s-gonna-happen-murder mystery. Basically going through Karin Slaughter’s entire “discography” (but what’s the book form of that word??) and I’m not mad about it.

Rating: 10/10-please read

All We Ever Wanted

The Gist: At the heart of the lies and scandal, Tom, Nina, and Lyla are forced together—all questioning their closest relationships, asking themselves who they really are, and searching for the courage to live a life of true meaning (stole this from Amazon cause I really didn’t know how to summarize it)

Thoughts and Feels: This was a weird subject to touch on. Very much a “hot button” issue and I’m not really sure how I feel about this book. It did some things really well, but others maybe a little bit problematic. I usually love everything this author writes, but this one was puzzling.

Rating: 6/10 because I still liked the book, just not as much as I normally do

The Unexpected Truth About Animals

The Gist: Touches on a few misconceptions about animals and where those misconceptions came from in our history.

Thoughts and Feels: If you didn’t know this about me, I find animal documentaries super fascinating. I’ve been deciding whether to buy the book for a while and I’m very glad I did. History is crazy, animals are very weird and the writing is funny.

Rating: 8/10 not a murder mystery but still good

 

Adventures in Crazy Workouts: Flywheel

I have a love/hate relationship with cycling classes. Okay, it’s mostly hate. I used to take them all the time at my University gym a couple years ago, ya know, when I was living my best life with a free gym included in my tuition. I thrived on my cycling 7 am classes on Monday’s and have tried to re-create those happy times in these trendy NYC cycling classes. I do love a good Monster cycle class, and I had some high hopes for Flywheel. As you guys know, or maybe don’t, I very much dislike Soulcycle. It’s got flashing colored lights, there’s a lot of yelling, and too many different moves (i.e MOVE UP! DOWN! HANDS AT FIRST! SECOND! RIGHT! LEFT! JUMP!), you get it. I prefer not to be screamed at while I workout, but maybe just me.

I figured I would try this place, simply because the first class was free. I went in, found my assigned bike, and patted myself on the back for being all early. The instructor walked in, talked at a normal volume and I took it as a good sign. As soon as the thought This might actually be okay started forming in my brain, he began to play house music and yelled, “YOU GUYS READY TO GO?!” It was definitely a struggle after that. I checked my apple watch probably every 10 minutes waiting for it to end. Which is sad because the only other time I do that when I work out is when I’m running—because running is just excruciating.

You know how you have ac certain voice when you talk to someone professional? Some people refer to this as their “customer service voice.” Our cycling instructor obviously had a “cycling instructor voice.” He sounded like a gay radio announcer. If you’re wondering “hmm, what does that sound like?” Here’s my best impression:

Okay it was deeper than that, but you get it. Now, I don’t wanna make fun of this dude. However, I can because I know he was putting this voice on. Imagine hearing that mixed with way-too-loud house music.

The one thing that was actually different about this class that I enjoyed was the ranking. We were able to see how we ranked in the class the entire time and even had short bursts of competition with each other towards the end of the ride. Definitely made me push myself to go faster!

Overall, this wasn’t my favorite. I like cycling, but hate when my ear drums burst while have a seizure from flashing lights. This is a workout, not a Kesha concert, thanks.

How To: Eat Yo Vegetables

Raise your hand if you’ve resolved to be healthier in 2019?

I’d consider myself a pretty decently healthy person—who’s addicted to sugar and will not apologize for it. I’ve recently, in the last 6 months, gotten used to eating a serving of vegetables a day. May not sounds like a lot, but you gotta start somewhere, right?

I’ve never been a huge fan of vegetables, because ew. I usually struggle with them unless they’re drowning in some sort of sauce (ranch?). I somehow found a way of making them taste amazing and, almost more importantly, ready very quickly. I’ve never been the kind of person who can sit and wait for food to cook for an hour. I thought I’d share my go-to in case anyone was looking for a quick recipe! I’m by no means a recipe expert and you can totally tell because my pictures are very basic, but you get the idea.

Note: You can use ANY vegetables, I’ve just been really into asparagus and sweet potato lately.

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You need:

That’s literally it. I know turmeric seems weird, but its so good mixed with all of the other things.

How I do it:

  1. Grab a skillet and oil it with a decent amount of whatever oil you chose
  2. Put your veggie of choice in there and cook it on medium heat
  3. Flip them after about 5 minutes and add spices( I like mine very brown, so maybe flip them earlier if you don’t)
  4. Turn heat on low and add juice from the half lime
  5. EAT

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I added chicken because it goes really well with all the other spices, but you can use whatever you like! I’ve noticed if you don’t have a gas stove, they may take longer to cook, just an fyi. I eat this all the time (ask my roommate) and I love it!

 

 

 

My Favorite Things in 2018

Does that title rhyme slightly? Just me? Great.

I wanted to do this wrap up of the stuff I really loved this year that I didn’t talk about and/or barely talked about. Sort of like a giant Sunday Summary, A.K.A that thing I don’t do anymore (but can still be viewed if you’re into that).

Best Hair Product of 2018:

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The Tragic Before

Technically, this isn’t a product. HOWEVER, I discovered this dry shampoo blow drier trick and it is a game changer. Had bun hair all day and then someone wanted to hangout (and i did not want to have bun hair) so I tried this trick. Here’s the post I did and how it ended up going for me, but spoiler alert, it works.

Best Book in 2018:

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If you need to know anything about me, it’s that I love to read. I’ve been slacking slightly with how much, but I’ve been picking up major speed with it lately. I’ve read roughly 20-ish books this year, which is kind of a lot. Trying to narrow it down to the best was hard, but some of the books I read just sort of ran together. Really thinking about doing a monthly post about the books I read the month before (mostly just to push myself to read more). OKAY on to my actual pick: You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero. I know what you’re thinking “Self-help book? That’s for sad weirdos.” Here’s the thing: You’re right! BUT, I’d argue that everyone is kind of a sad weirdo sometimes! I read this when I really needed something to give me things to do after I quit my job and when I needed a distraction from going down the “what if I have to move home because I can’t find a job” hole. I would honestly read it again, that’s how much I liked it. If you’re stuck in place in your life where you have no idea what you’re doing, read this. If you wanna make a crazy change, read this. It’s 2019, the year of making goals and gettin’ bread—as the memes say, so read it!

Best Makeup Product of 2018:

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Okay I almost put something else for this that was expensive and to be fair, very good. I feel that I should instead pay homage to a brand who had my back when I was too broke to go to Sephora and get new stuff. That’s right I’m talking about ELF. You wouldn’t think with $1 brow pencils and $3 concealer would be worth putting on your face. I’m here to tell you, your assumptions are wrong. My brows are perfectly filled and my pores CONCEALED! Was actually not a fan of the bronzer cause it was too glittery for my tastes but that doesn’t mean it’s not quality! Okay done with my spiel.

Best Skincare Product of 2018:

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Spoiler alert it’s like 2 dollars. Spoiler alert again, it’s lemon juice. I started using it and it felt like a miracle. Then I stopped for a few weeks recently, because I’m skeptical person and sometimes I don’t feel like buying lemons ya know. Started using them again and wow I forgot how good they are. My skin just has so much less redness and blackheads! It’s so great and so cheap.

Best Movie of 2018:

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I know you all want me to say A Star is Born, but I’m sorry I can’t. The music is amazing, yes. Bradley Cooper is hot, yes. I absolutely knew what was gonna happen at the end and so I didn’t like it as much. Maybe if there was a world with no spoilers and people wouldn’t have talked about how amazing it was and subsequently ruining it. I also really don’t watch movies in theaters that much. I’ve seen maybe 3 movies this entire year, so I fell like I can’t say what the best movie this year is. I can say what the best movie saw this year. It’s not new, it’s just new to me. Okay, it’s Steel Magnolias. This is a weird pick for me, since every time anyone would bring this up I’d immediately think “How can that be good? It sounds so corny.” It was on Netflix a few months back and it was a rainy Saturday, so I thought I’d give it a try. It’s set in a small town in Louisiana—hence the name. The thing about movies centered around the South is they’re always over exaggerated. Every other word is “crawfish” or “gumbo” or “pea-can pie!” I get it, its a movie, but that why I never really like them. This one doesn’t do that. Overall, its pretty reflective of life in smaller southern town and I loved it. I cried, I laughed and now I know why it wont so many awards. It’s not on Netflix anymore, but find it somewhere because it’s so good.

Best Show of 2018:

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Okay this is so hard because I’ve seen so many good shows this year, but there’s only one that filled me with the most joy every time I turned it on: The Great British Baking Show. Am I late to this game? I really don’t know but this show is so good. I really loved watching to the point of watching two seasons in a about a week. I did it in a weird way where I watched seasons 5 & 6 first and in my humble opinion, those are the best seasons. After that, they change the hosts and Prue isn’t one of the judges and I need her color coordination in my life. I love the accents, the stuff they come up with and  Paul Hollywood is a cutie, I’m just gonna throw it out there. Really into shows that make me laugh and aren’t super dramatic lately and this one definitely fill that for me. I even watched it twice, so if you haven’t yet, here’s your notification.

Best Clothing Purchase of 2018:

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This was the year I bought so many clothes, it’s obnoxious. Trying to “re-vamp” my wardrobe and also buying things for a 9-5 job was tough. I think the best purchase and the thing I got the most use out of were my Lululemon leggings. As you know, I’m more of a quantity over quality gal. Trends come and go a lot for me to be buying something that I may not wear in a few years that costs an arm and a leg. Also let’s keep it real, I’m still washing my clothes in a laundry mat for god’s sake. I’m in no place to be buying anything over 50 bucks. I completely believe in a good splurge for things that may be expensive, but you’ve been lusting after for a while. Hence, my purchase of these leggings. I really wanted to see if they are so different from the $20 Forever 21 leggings and I’m here to say yes they are. They fit like a glove, the length is always perfect (aka no bunching at the bottom) and they stay in place when I’m running. I still only have one pair so far, but 2019 I’ll be getting some more and really coming into my basic white girl form.

Best Workout of 2018:

 

So, I’m splitting this up by home workout and workout class, okay great:

Best home workout is always Tabata with Raneir Pollard hands down. He’s so fun and at the same time, the workout is always intense. It’s always my Monday go to for a good strong beginning to my week. Also, they just uploaded a new one!

Best workout class I’ve been to in the city is Yoga sculpt at Corepower yoga. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, If I were a richer woman, I’d be doing yoga twice a week at minimum. This particular class is not only yoga, but a little bit of cardio to satisfy my needs. They have them all over, so check them out if they’re near you!

 

Cheers to 2019! Can’t wait to make many more posts and let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see more of on the blog 🙂

2018: What A Year

Can I just say this was the longest year of my life?

I’ve learned a lot about myself that I didn’t know. I did things I never thought I would do. I definitely feel like I’ve matured a lot for just one year, but my 25 year old self might read this and internally groan—who’s to say?

Winter…was rough. Let’s start with the good! I discovered that snow storms are simultaneously amazing and horrifying. You’re scared your pipes will freeze and your heat will go out, but its so quiet and pretty to watch you’ll think you’re actually in heaven. Spent some fun times with Ruby (shout-out to Ruby because I really think I would’ve moved, had I not met her) doing things on my New York bucket list and eating some amazing food. Discovered some cool places near my apartment – like a bakery full of cat things and a place where I frequented to get bagel sandwiches. Christmas in New York is so cute and exciting to be a part of. Pushed myself to learn new things and tried to do things solo to make myself as happy as possible.

When I wrote my “goals” for 2018 and my year in a video, I was in a weird place. I was just starting to feel lonely, sad and very nostalgic. This feeling would definitely be an overriding emotion for the rest of the winter. I don’t know if it was what you’d call “seasonal depressive disorder” or just some serious growing pains, but I would say the winter was hard for me. I spent the majority of the time feeling unsuccessful and beating myself up frequently for not having my life look the way I’d pictured it when I moved to the city. Not just in my career, which I’ve talked about, but in all aspects of my life. I didn’t make a bunch of friends like I assumed I would. I spent 6 months in an apartment I hated and lived above a bar—unsurprisingly the worst place I’ve ever lived. I also went on a clump of last-luster dates and even one with a guy I can confidently say was a (borderline) sociopath. Everything about life doesn’t change immediately. I would say the weekends were hard when I had no plans and was stuck in my loud apartment with nothing to do.

Thankfully, Spring actually came after what felt like a trillion years. I made some really awesome friends and finally had a group that I felt were really my people. I moved to a new apartment and actually enjoyed being at there instead of feeling trapped.

In the summer of 2018, I finally quit my job in order to find something I really loved, which I did. Spent time doing things that inspired me and also had a lot of fun draining all my bank accounts.

Fall was definitely a big blur, but in a good way. I turned another year older with the best people I could ask for. Spent some much needed time at home, and for once, coming back to the city felt exciting instead of dreadful.

Of course, dating life is still pending, but three out of four ain’t bad!

One year ago, I was slightly sad, but very hopeful. I knew my life now  would not be the way it was then. I was right and couldn’t be happier about it. Here’s to more crazy times and doing things that scare the crap out of me.

 

The Dating App Conundrum

When I moved here for an internship my junior year of college, I was the queen of dating apps. I really only used Bumble (this was pre-Hinge) and found pretty decent success. I was broke and knew absolutely no one so dating apps were fun when I was bored and wanted to do something in the city. I also lived in the East Village, which is prime for dating and going out in your 20’s. It gave me some much needed distraction and hey, summer of fun in the city. 

In college back home, I never used them. I had enough success—or should I say I had enough “distractions” going out to bars that I really just didn’t need them. I definitely used them when I was bored and needed a confidence boost, but never really dated anyone from them. I always felt like I had to be constantly talking to someone, so any lull in my boy-craziness needed to be filled with a stint on a dating app that I would give up a week later.

Since moving here, I picked it back up again. I would say 9 out of 10 times are usually a bust. Since I actually live here now and it’s not just a summer vacation, it’s almost a chore. Out of the dates I’ve been on in the last year, only 2 have made it past the first date and only 1 further than that. I was listening to a podcast and a comedian said it best, “I don’t use dating apps because the “vibe” I give off online is not really me. You don’t usually like someone just based on pictures, it’s peoples energy.” I try way too hard on dating apps to sound funny and original, therefore I look like a weirdo. I try to match with people who also sound funny and original on dating apps, therefore I match with guys who aren’t my type more often than not. No idea why that is.

I’d first like to point out some weirdos and just general funny stuff that seems to happen only on dating apps. Ladies, read it and weep—with laughter:

First, let’s start off with some weird trend I’ve been noticing (that definitely need an explanation and a cease and desist):

When answering the question “The last time you cried was…,” an ALARMING amount of men have said the movie Click. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s that really horrible movie with Adam Sandler aka basically every movie he’s in ever. The fact that enough men are crying during this movie that I’ve noticed is so horrible I don’t wanna think about it.  Adam god-damn Sandler, I can’t. 

When asked about their last meal, chicken parmesan is a very popular answer. I think I’ve eaten that once in my whole life. Not a bad choice, but so weird. I guess it’s better than saying pizza, but really only one step up.

Job title as “looking” or “entrepreneur” translates in my brain to “unemployed and will take you to a dive bar and split it.” Just make something up related to what you do or put what you WERE doing, duh.

Linked Instagram accounts: mixed feelings about these because sometimes they add more pictures of the guy. HOWEVER, some people should not. For example, if your entire Instagram is you doing “motivational” videos. I also ran into a guy who had an entire Instagram of….boats. Like maybe keep a little mystery going into date 1, just a thought.

Here’s some gems I managed to screenshot and am very happy I did:

Just trying to match with the general population. Nothing specific
Who’s gonna tell this guy it’s 2018 and everyone has seen Star Wars….
I think I’ll go out to dinner. I don’t fancy being cooked???
Is he here just to make friends??
Can’t communicate, someone help him
Do you live in New York City, yes or no?
This was a solid burn and I don’t feel bad. Okra is DISGUSTING
Thanks Justin! 
33,000 people at LSU but yep, toooootally know him. Also serial killer response
this guy never matched with me because he doesn’t like to be corrected. I really wanna know if he fixed the spelling, it haunts me everyday.
This guy never matched with me either, I mean COMEON he probably never got something so funny he didn’t know how to handle it.
I hope this guy found love cause he deserves it

Lastly, I’d like to say that men are still out here, in 2018, thinking selfies are okay. They are not. Please, please stop taking shirtless pictures, pictures in your car (???), pictures in your bathroom mirror with your leg on the sink (this is a real picture I saw of a guy who had the AUDACITY TO MATCH WITH ME. If you want to see it DM me). I know for a fact your mom makes you take pictures every Christmas, your fired who are girls take pictures of you or get your bro to take one I DONT CARE. No selfies in 2019 thank you. 

Needless to say, I deleted them all recently. I think it’s a good idea to take breaks from dating apps. I haven’t in a while and I have to say I really don’t miss it. If it gets monotonous, delete it. You don’t need to waste energy and good makeup on a boring date! All the power to you if you like them and you met your boyfriend/husband/soulmate, but I’m tired and its getting cold as hell. I’ll be watching Christmas movies and hanging with my friends until further notice.