Why I’m Switching My Skincare

My post about my skincare was basically a lead-in to this because I am going to actually try to have beautiful baby skin for the first time in 10 years! As yo guys know, I’ve been struggling for-EVER with my skin and it’s just NOW getting it’s crap together.

Let me start by saying, just doing my own research for this post, there isn’t a lot to go on. I’ve read couple things from different websites, but they seem pretty sketchy and unreliable. I will say I look at Sarah’s YouTube for some ideas when it comes to skin care. I’m referring to her as Sarah, like I know her (I do not, duh), but I’ve been following her journey for a bit now. She had horrible hormonal acne like I did and she has GORGEOUS skin now, like it looks fake. However, looking at her skin update, I’m not impressed. It is super simple, but the products are expensive. She also uses a cleansing brush everyday, which I do not know how her skin survives, as well as warm water. She also recommended a few essential oils as well. Using essential oils is probably something I should start doing, however I’m not about to but 50 dollar oil products please look at this one and how many ingredients it is:

 

 

 

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Like what is all of that?! Is it necessary?! Probably not. Safe bet that the reason it has so many ingredients, is the exact reason this retailer can hike up the price. The beauty industry is one that profits from the idea that you can’t get these “natural products” anywhere else. There’s no such thing as natural beauty, because if there was, they’d be out of business. If you could just cleanse your face with oil, then they can’t charge you $50 for it. They have to add all of this other junk you don’t need, in order to sell it.

As I was inspired by my cousin, who also struggles with her skin, I’m going au natural. I’m going to start slow by using only a few things at a time to really see what works with my skin and I’ll be documenting it all here!

As a refresher, this is what my skin looks like now:

 

*cringe*

These are the products I’m starting with:

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Honey -using this to wash my face daily. May switch to an oil (olive or other) instead of this breaks me out. Will keep ya posted

Coconut Oil -this to take off my makeup/ my first cleanser at night before I use honey (Trader Joe’s kind because it’s cheap)

Lemon -Mixing this and honey for my 2x daily wash.

Collagen pills -I’ve been wanting to try for a while and my cousin recommended this one. I’ll see how different it make my skin after a month!

Products I’ll be trying after my skin gets more acclimated:

Rose Toner -Heard great things and I have oily skin so I feel like I need toner? Who knows I’m just trying things out at this point.

Vitamin E oil -This supposedly helps with scars, but i don’t wanna overload my skin with oils right off the bat. Definitely want to try eventually however.

So far, this feels WEIRD. I do notice my makeup goes on a little smoother, however my skin looks a little red for some reason. Not sure what that’s about, but will keep this updated monthly to see how it goes! Let me know if you guy have any products you love or blogs you love who are doing the same!

 

Life The Update: Dreams as Big as My Eyeballs

Highly anticipated and 100% organic cane sugar, ya’ll I’m finally giving you a life update! It took me way too long to write this. As I said in my last update, I’m still not used to the whole “talking about my life and not worrying about what Britney from high school thinks about my post” thing, (for the record, I don’t know a Britney from high school and apologies if you graduated with me and your name is Britney this aint no shade to you girl). My last post was awkward because I was struggling and had a bit of an ego blow. As always, the voice must be silenced and I must continue to be the girl who wore her belt from Brighton my mom bought for me on Ebay even though 10 girls in 7th grade told me how hideous it was whenever I wore it (along with my embarrassing white kitten heels—yeah you read that right). So, like always, I must write this.

 

With that lead up, you might be thinking this is gonna be an awkward post about me failing. I’m very pleased to say how wrong you are. After 1 month of waiting—literally to the day, I am pleased to announce I am the Social Media Coordinator for Memorandum.com! I get to work everyday for someone I’ve admired for almost a year now, which is insane. I finally get to show off my creativity and do something I’ve been itching to do since getting familiar with the blogging world. Still can’t say what the heck my “5 year plan” looks like, but I can tell you it looks a whole lot better than it did at this time last year.

As a girl who always kind of felt stupid for getting a degree in English instead of something practical (and honestly almost switched my Sophomore year). Someone who didn’t get fancy internships, go to a fancy school or know anyone who could help me get here, I always worried about how I would ever be able to get where I wanted to be. I found my passions late in life and I worried I should taken this class or done this extracurricular in order to do what I wanted. If there’s any proof of all that being a big pile of hooey, I want you to know I’m it. Best advice I can give? Always listen to your gut feelings. I’m bordering on being one of those “never stop grinding” gym memes, so I’ll leave it at that. I can finally say without any hesitation: I’m out here living my best life, ya’ll.

 

The Sunday Summary

I haven’t done one of these in MONTHS, so I feel as if I need to update you guys on the things I really like lately. Pay attention (please), this is a good one.

Elf Concealer

I have this weird thing where I have two concealers. One is my expensive concealer for when I wanna look like a pore-less model and one for when I’m just living my everyday life as a regular human—or for when I wanna look good, but not that good. Just me? I happened to be in Target the other day and remembered I was running out of my regular human concealer, as well as my fancy one. A dilemma! On a whim, (and because I didn’t wanna go to the mad house that is Sephora), I bought this. Actually rivals my expensive concealer AND only $3?! I have turned a new leaf.

Graphic Tee Trend?

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I never, In my wildest dreams, thought I would actually like this trend. I love pairing a tee with fancy pants (as seen below), especially patterned pants. Not by any means ready for Fall, (because Winter is next), but I do miss my pants. I’m still hesitant to buy any band t-shirt that I have never listened to, or a shirt that says something horrible like “beast mode.”

RX V.S. Lära Bars

It’s hard to pick which one I like better. RX bars are my personal OG. They have basic ingredients, big, taste amazing and have no added sugar. HOWEVER, Lära bars are making a serious contender. Some of them do have added sugar (usually only about 3g), but follow the same “basic ingredients” principal. They also have some amazing flavors like Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, Coconut Creme Pie and (my personal fave) Lemon Bar. They aren’t as big as RX bars, so I would say that’s their downfall. I know I’m late to the party on these, but maybe someone else is too, okay!!

Running on a Treadmill?

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As you guys may know, I’ve been implementing running back into my daily workouts. I used to run solely outside (in the devil’s heat), but lately, I’ve been using the treadmill. At first, it was a ride on the struggle bus. You have nothing really to pay attention to except maybe a TV you can’t hear. You also aren’t really going anywhere, so it’s just you and your thoughts for however long you can stand it. Since switching to a focus on endurance, instead of focusing on speed, I’m actually enjoying it. I either listen to a podcast, or some of my favorite jams of the moment. Definitely not going fast, but I can usually last longer and run better on the treadmill. As with anything, the more you do it, the better you get.

Book of the Summer: You are a Badass by Jen Sincero

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Late to this party as well, mostly because I figured this book was corny. I decided to switch it up and read a book or two about bettering my life—maybe give the murder mysteries a break. This was surprisingly good and only slightly corny. I would say, keep an open mind when reading. It gave me things to do while on the job hunt and inspired me to change some things in my life. Highly recommend if you feel like you’re struggling with anything or just need some inspiration*~.

 

Let’s Get Skin-timate: My Skin Journey

I wanted to talk about something I’ve struggled with since puberty: SKIN. Specifically, the skin on my face. This is gonna be a long one since I’ve been struggling for 10+ years (craziness), so strap in! Get some snacks.

 

First, let’s break down my journey a little bit.

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Right before the miracle of braces circa right before 8th grade 

I’ve had what I would call “problem” skin since I was about 13. Specifically, I would breakout on my chin. Usually it was one or two, but I always was embarrassed about it and started wearing makeup very early in order to cover it. My aunt, being a Pharmacist, was the first to prescribe something for my skin. After months, my skin stayed the same, despite dosage increases.

Once I was starting 8th grade, I went to a Dermatologist for the first time. He prescribed me a BUNCH of different stuff, but again, nothing really changed.

For a couple years, I just used the stuff you could get at Target like Neutrogena, Clean & Clear etc.

Around my Sophomore year of high school, I started using Proactive. It worked moderately well and I would say my skin was bearable. After not seeing the dramatic results they show on their TV adds, I decided to try something else. In the rise of Pinterest and blogging, my mother and I read about using oil as a cleanser. I don’t really remember my exact results with this (I was but a wee junior in high school), but I wasn’t satisfied with how my skin was reacting to it.

 

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Summer of my junior year. Probably the best my skin looked for two years

I was recommended acne products by a Sephora worker and switched all skin care to a particular brand (doesn’t exist anymore).  This made my skin better, but I still had breakouts regularly. I ended up just going back to regular ‘ole Clean & Clear and my skin was pretty okay the entirety of my junior year. I would still breakout, but it was bearable. Of course, I obsessed over every pimple, but looking back it was really tame. Calm before the storm, as they say.

 

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A blonde me? Senior year
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Decided not to wear makeup this day and after seeing these, regretted that decision

Going into my senior year of high school, I got the worst breakouts of my life. It went from being manageable or a few here and there, to full on cystic acne all over my cheeks and chin. I went back to Proactive in hopes that would help and after another failed attempt, went to a Dermatologist. He sent me back with a few things to try, while my skin stayed basically the same. I was going into College, trying to meet new people and make friends so this was not ideal.

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First day of college, the worst my skin ever looked

Around the same time, my cousin was also struggling with her skin. Like me, she had trouble skin later in life and was struggling to find anything that worked. She began taking the drug Accutane and was surprised by it’s dramatic results.

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While taking Accutane my freshman year
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Summer, after 7 months on Accutane. (please ignore the face I’m making, sheesh)

Accutane is controversial for a few reasons and so most people use this as a last resort. It has very strong side effects including: back pain, dry lips, dry skin and even depression. You take this everyday for at least six months. As a female, you have to jump through A LOT of hoops to get the medication. Blood work and pregnancy tests are a monthly thing as well as making sure you have two forms of birth control. Despite all of this, I was determined to find some way to get it. Luckily for me, a doctor at my school’s health center prescribed it to me. Yes, my skin got drier and thankfully, my hair did too. Other than that, I was lucky enough to have no serious side effects.

After about the 3rd or 4th month, I started to see a real difference in my skin. Going through my first year of college and finally having manageable skin was the best feeling. Accutane was really the only thing that ever worked for me, personally. After being on it for 7 months, I was finally down to about two breakouts a month.

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Sophomore year of college (I miss my short haiirrrrr)
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Junior year. (you can sort of see the scars on the side of my face) Let me live, i know this picture is odd

 

Unfortunately, since getting rid of breakouts, I was left with scars. I’ve struggled so much with just breaking out, that I just basically thought “Okay this I can deal with,” and mostly left my skin alone for the past 4 years. Still trying to hide from anyone seeing me sans makeup, of course. You can’t really see the difference between my skin after Accutane and now since I wasn’t really documenting it. My skin looks similar, but I promise, some of these pictures (sophomore and junior year) I have good makeup and strategic lighting.

I do want to share the, few, subtle things that I have been doing lately that have helped me dramatically. My skin right now is about the best it has ever been, (except my baby skin) and I wanted to share what I’ve been using/doing to help get a more even tone!

Lemon juice

I’ve touched on this before, but just to reiterate, this is the best thing for a brighter tone to your skin! I literally just cut this baby in half and squeeze the juice on my skin every night before I go to sleep. Seriously, do it.

Honey

This stuff has been my saving grace lately and I’m so sorry I neglected (hated on) it for years! I use this for very simple masks, here’s a couple:

Tumeric and honey=spot treatment

Pink Himalayan salt and honey= exfoliation mask

I’ve also been using it in my coffee as a sweetener!

Cut. That. SUGAR

I’m sure ya’ll are thinking, “is this girl about to tell me to stop eating sugar again?” and I AM!!! I just stopped using sugar n my coffee and it has changed my skin so much, and its only been a month. So much of your skin is a reflection of what you put in your body and sugar is the worst thing you can do to your skin. I cut sugar in my normal diet and really only eat sugar (I’m talking like cookies, cake etc. or what I call “obvious sugar”), maybe twice a week. Sometimes, I’m just really craving it, so i definitely  let me myself have it. I never wanna go back to that long month of no sugar and making myself miserable (do not recommend).

Wearing less makeup

This is hard to do if you have a full-time job, obviously, but try as much as you can. I definitely recommend not using foundation if you do feel like you need to wear makeup. I only ever use tinted moisturizer and then cover-up for my scaring and dark circles. I recommend this or this, they are very similar in my opinion and I like both!

Don’t use a cleaning brush every night

This discovery stemmed from me just being too lazy to buy a new brush head for my Clairsonic and then not using it because the brush was too gross. I was basically over-exfoliating my skin and it was not thanking me. I would say if you have one of these, use it once a week.

Wash your face TWICE

So since I’m not using the brush to get all of my makeup off, I now have to wash my face twice. Once to remove my makeup and second, to cleanse. Never been a fan of makeup wipes, I feel they can be super harsh. I prefer just washing it twice.

Cold water only

Recently, I followed another blogger with UNBELIEVABLE skin. Like baby smooth and dewy. She used a bunch of different things. I’ll admit, once people suggest products to use, I usually tune out. Having tried so much stuff, I really don’t take advice about skin products that claim to work. HOWEVER, she did say she only washes her face with cool or cold water. It takes some getting used to, but I’ve been doing it ever since. Putting boiling hot water on your skin in general probably isn’t great, but definitely if your face is sensitive. I would recommend at the very least warm/cool water.

 

For years, I had people tell me what I should be doing for my skin. I hated anyone who would comment on it, as I preferred to pretend it wasn’t an issue. Most of the skin advice I got, was unsolicited. Random people would tell me what I should be doing and honestly, that was probably the worst part. I tried not to think about my skin, as I knew I had more things about myself to offer. No matter what, you are not your skin. We get so wrapped up in how we look, that when we don’t look our best, it can be hard to live normally. If you’re struggling with your skin, you’re not alone. One of the reasons my skin is better could be simply age! Don’t dwell on it, everyone has something they’re embarrassed about. If you know someone struggling with their skin, for the love of god, just leave them alone about it. Whatever you’re about to say, they’ve probably tried it. At the end of the day, you still have to go out and live your life. My skin’s not perfect. I still get embarrassed walking around without makeup, sometimes. Everyone has something about them that they don’t like, but find your way of dealing with it and do what you can.

*Not a professional or expert, only sharing what has worked for me in my own, personal life.

The Faint of Heart Need Not Apply

I will admit, it took me way too long to write this post.

Not because I’m just so busy (hah), but because I’m always grappling with how much I want to share on here. I’m gonna spoil it for you: this post isn’t necessarily all rainbows and happy-fun-times, which is why it took me so long to write/post. I have to silence the introvert part of my brain that says “OVERSHARE! OVERSHARE! NO ONE WANTS TO KNOW THIS MUCH ABOUT YOU!!! She is very loud and irrationally scared of being judged. As usual, she must be silenced in my quest for true transparency.

It is, although it may not seem like it, hopeful.

A few weeks ago, I had a very important meeting about a job. Not just your run-of-the-mill J-O-B, but something I wanted to do very badly. Let me emphasize that: I wanted this job VERY, VERY BADLY. Enough? Oh man, I thought about it and did all the things to prepare for it. I was determined. I went to the interview and despite being 10 minutes late because of the train and sweaty, I killed it. Not tooting my own horn, I really did. Have you ever gone to an interview where you not only wanted the job, but would put every ounce of passion and determination behind it if you got it? You know you deserve this job, you just have to convince this person, who is not you, that you should get it over anyone else that’s probably equally good if not better. Easy, right?

Afterward, I started doing all the things I thought I would be doing, had I gotten the job. I did all of the things those “self-help” books tell you to do if you want something; act like you already have it. So I did, and I waited. And waited. Just so you know, applying for jobs is a lot of just waiting for people to get back to you. Finally, after a week of waiting I had my answer and it was No. Not literally just an email with the word “no” in bold, that would be horrifying. In different words, but a “no” all the same. So I have my very first soul-crushing “no” under my belt, officially. Am I upset? Yes. Will I be okay? 1,000,000% yes. Mostly because I had already gone through the 7 stages of grief even before I heard back, but also because I will not be stopped. Say that out loud to the all-powerful-universe and tell me that doesn’t give you the chills a little.

This month has been one of the best, but most uncomfortable I’ve ever been. I’ve had to reach out to people, follow up with people, bug people and even message people on Instagram in hopes it will get me where I want to be. I don’t have a clear idea of what that means, but I do know that the things that I’ve been doing lately are getting me there. Therefore, I will not be stopped. As the beautiful and talented Shonda Rhimes said,

Ditch the dream and be a doer, not a dreamer. Maybe you know exactly what it is you dream of being, or maybe you’re paralyzed because you have no idea what your passion is. The truth is, it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to know. You just have to keep moving forward. You just have to keep doing something, seizing the next opportunity, staying open to trying something new. It doesn’t have to fit your vision of the perfect job or the perfect life. Perfect is boring and dreams are not real. Just … do. So you think, “I wish I could travel.” Great. Sell your crappy car, buy a ticket to Bangkok, and go. Right now. I’m serious.

You want to be a writer? A writer is someone who writes every day, so start writing. You don’t have a job? Get one. Any job. Don’t sit at home waiting for the magical opportunity. Who are you? Prince William? No. Get a job. Go to work. Do something until you can do something else. -Dartmouth Commencement Speech 2014

I highly recommend her book as well, The Year of Yes. I’m trying my very hardest to be a doer, not just a dreamer. I can, I will and eventually say “I did.”

 

I Don’t Even Have a “Pla” Year-aversery!

One whole year of blogging went so fast! I had no idea what would come of this when I started it a year ago, but I can 100% say that I would not be where I am right now if I had never started. So crazy how many people actually read this and follow my attempt at being an adult after college.

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Cant believe this picture is over a year old. Really wanna cut my hair again after seeing this (my hair really just needs to be cut in general)

Some parts of this year has been rough (bold for emphasis). The winter was the worst and I felt really weird and moody for a lot of it. Doing this was sort of my own personal self-care and I definitely have gotten out of this what I put into it. Moving here, I knew it would be hard, but I had no idea how it would feel. I put pressure on myself to be doing certain things and spent too much energy worrying about where my life was going and feeling bad about it not looking like I wanted it to. Through all of that craziness, this has been my constant. I’m just now starting to get in my groove of this whole big city life and feeling like I have some clarity career-wise. Reminder that doing scary things might not always feel super stellar, but they are so very worth it!

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One of my very first pictures (I learned to use instagram stories to edit them and lets just say I liked it a lot)

When I first thought about my blog, I just wanted to share food, clothes and beauty stuff that I liked. I was so worried about this being “too personal” because I thought, Who wants to read about me and my life? The dumbest thing I did was doubt myself. I didn’t want to advertise that I was writing a blog, I didn’t want anyone reading it and judging me, which is inevitable no matter what you do. I took myself out of my comfort zone so much this past year and it has paid off dramatically. Recently, I’ve been taking my blog to a more personal level and the feedback has been amazing! Of course I will still be doing my regular fun posts and any NYC advice I have, but I definitely want to share more about my life in the next year.

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One of my first ever “blogger” pics. Still love that outfit

I was trying to think of any advice I had for anyone starting a blog and I can really only think of one thing:

Just start

I spent to much time worrying about people reading it and making it “good,” that it took me forever to even start. Don’t put so much pressure on it that you never even start. It doesn’t have to be perfect, ground-breaking or “important,” it just needs to show people you put some thought and personality into something you love. Reading my very first post is very surreal. Honestly, I still think its funny and cute and maybe I’ll start doing those things-i-love-this-week posts again (even though not a lot of people read those).

^^^(probably the funniest thing     thats ever happened to me)

I would also recommend utilizing Instagram in partner with your blog. I’m gonna get a ‘lil sappy real quick, but I have met some truly amazing girls just interacting on Instagram. Just reaching out to people telling them how cool you think they are might feel super weird, but thats how I’ve made many of the friends I have now.  The three girls you always see me with? Met them through Instagram and would not know what the heck I would be doing right now if I didn’t know them (crying? being lonely? caught up on all tv shows in existence because I’d have nothing else to do?). So much of the criticism of social media is that it’s all very fake and you lose the ability to interact with people. So I try my hardest not to keep it all surface-based and be as honest as i can about my life.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is if you’re even sort of thinking about starting a blog or writing, DO IT. It has changed my life and I cannot wait to see where I’ll be in my second year of blogging!

 

 

The Tah-dews in Nashville

If you haven’t been keeping up with my ‘gram, I just got back from a super fun little va-cay in Nashville this week. I had the MOST fun (shoutout to my cousins Kristen and Andrew!). I honestly came back a little bummed? So weird, I kind of get like that when I visit the south.  I love NYC, but there’s nothing like decompressing in the south for a few days. When I moved here, I never thought in a billion years I would be saying I actually miss the South. Somewhere the universe is laughing at me and my naiveté. Anyway, I’ve been to Nashville a couple times and I wanted to share some stuff that I did that I recommend!

Fourth of July Fireworks Downtown

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This is highly specific to the 4th, but wow they were great. Second only to NYC, of course. They start at 9:30 and last until 10. I was lucky enough to see them from this GORGEOUS downtown apartment. She had full view of them and I was in heaven. She also had the cutest little Persian cats, so, obviously #goals. Just trying to be the NYC equivalent, ya know?

 

Murals

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There’s actually a bunch of murals I wanted to check out, but we only got to this one. There’s also angel wings one and “Nashville looks good on you.” Found this one via thefashionablybroketeacher on Instagram! She’s based in Philly, but goes to Nashville all the time (jealous), so I looked at her pictures for some ideas! This mural went perfectly with all of our fourth of July garb.

Frothy Monkey

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Horrible name, amazing salad.

Hiking Trails


No pictures of this because we were so ~one~ with nature, or I forgot, you decide. They have so many just outside the city and they’re so cute. If I lived here and simultaneously had all of my shit together, I would run at least one day. Great for when you wanna workout, but not super hard.

Nama Sushi

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Been to this place twice now, and it’s amazing. We happened to go when they had half-priced rolls which made it taste that much better. You should definitely try the seaweed salad, sounds horrifying but very good. Trust me.

Losers Bar


Will I come here every time I go to Nashville? Yes. Is it because I saw Garrett Hedlund the first time I went and must see him again? No….maybe a little. They play my favorite country band of all time, Brooks & Dunn, so it is a must-go. 

Meowsic City Cafe

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Cutest little place and I get to pet cats? I’m there. All of the cats are adoptable and even Kristen liked it (and she thinks cats are weird and they say the same about her, probably). All I wanna know is, when are we getting one in NYC?

The Candle Bar

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The day was very gross and rainy, so perfect weather to chill and make some candles! So many fragrances, I could barely choose. I felt like a 60 year old grandma chemist with my beaker and scale! Loved the concept and again, where’s the one in NYC?

Hattie B’s Chicken


Three words: BETTER. THAN. CANES. Still need the sauce, but the chicken was unbelievable and definitely satisfied a very hungover and hangry me. There’s always a line, but you have to go. With three locations in Nashville, its gotta be good.

There you have it, pals! Nashville is one of my favorite places and is home to one of my favorite people, so I absolutely love going. My only qualm is that we went to a party and all the men wore flip-flops. Guys, get it together! Just kidding (kinda). 

 

A Definitive Argument For Being “Picky”

 

I have been what normal people would classify as “single” basically my entire existence (save for about 4 horrifying months which I’m just not even gonna count anymore). However, I was “dating” my entire college life and it was less than enjoyable if you can guess. “Dating” I would classify as anyone you spend time with, hook-up with on a regular basis and/or drunk cry about when they don’t text you back after a certain amount of months. My college existence was an endless cycle of this. Meet a guy, go out with him, meet his friends, get invested, and fizzle into nothing more than a sad thought after too much vodka. Then, start all that all over again with some other dude. My mom would always say, “It’s because you’re too picky! A guy doesn’t have to be super hot!” Those words stuck in my mind every time I thought, “okay I don’t like this about him maybe we shouldn’t talk anymore.” My mom’s voice would come into my head and so, I resolved to stick it out. “Give him a chance” and “you’re too picky” is the shady form of “this guy likes you so you should date him even if you don’t like him because you might not ever get someone to like you again” Which is a terrifying thing to a woman, I mean, how do we survive if there isn’t a guy who likes us? No one has ever claimed that men are too picky and single, they’re just “bachelors sewin’ their wild oats,” or whatever. Guys are some of the most picky people on the planet and yet, I don’t see anyone claiming they need to change.

There’s a lot of pressure, as a single person, to be actively trying to date someone. So much so, that there’s a market for it, hence dating apps. Since moving here, men are everywhere and nowhere, simultaneously. Supposedly, there are millions of men in New York City, and I’ve yet to discover a single decent male I didn’t have to first meet on a dating app. Working in fashion meant I saw about 2 humans of the male variety, all of which, are gay. That means, if I want to meet someone I have to meet them either randomly (coffee shop, gym, subway?), at a bar or on a dating app. My preferred method has been the apps. Easiest and fastest way to meet people and not having to be on “patrol” for guys everywhere I go. Dating apps are the one place where you can embrace your “picky.” Weird picture? Bye. He’s only 5’6″? Nope. Then you start to weed through a lot of guys really fast and you think “well maybe height isn’t a huge deal” or “yeah he lives in Jersey and I live in Brooklyn but it could work!” Why are you forcing yourself to sacrifice all the things you want in a guy just because it’s taking a hot second to actually find it? I’ve been with some guys who have been the absolute worst just to, “give them a chance,” and at the end of it I just thought, “Why did I even waste my precious time?” Women have been crucified for having a check-list for the perfect dude so much that we now have to just date whoever comes along. Yes, sometimes you can find things in people you never saw coming, but wasting energy on people you have no interest in is, well, a waste. I wouldn’t say the guys I actually liked checked all my invisible “boxes,” but the things I would sacrifice in order to just date someone were readily available in other people if I would’ve just chilled the F out for a few months. So often we settle for “fine” because it’s comfortable in a relationship. You like them, but something is off, and you stay because you don’t want to have to start all over with someone else. Relationships are fun, but also should be exciting and way more than just “fine.”

Doing a quick Google search about being picky in a relationship can yield a plethora of articles about how to “fix” it. I get it; don’t be picky because you could also miss a great guy! I think we just get too lonely and next thing you know, the list goes totally out the window just so we can stop feeling so horrible about being single. What I’m trying to say is, don’t throw out your checklist. Remember the episode of Friends where Chandler resolves to not be picky anymore and goes out with the girl who has the weird nostrils and stick it out with the girl who has mascara goop in her eyes? Guess what, he should’ve left those girls in the dust because at the end of the day, they weren’t right for him and truned out to be real weirdos. One of them left him locked up to a desk with no pants on.  Fictional example, but it holds up. Embrace being picky about who you date and spend time with, no matter how old you get, how long you’ve been single or how many holidays you have to say “Yep, still single and picky.”

 

Life: The Update

One thing I am really trying to do with this whole blog thing is be as real as possible. There’s 18188450401 thousand bloggers out there posting their outfits and their liketoknowit things everyday and that’s it. There’s no real engagement with people who follow them or any personal hints into their own lives. I totally get it, their Instagrams are just a business, a job they need to get done. There’s something to be said about shared experiences as humans. Stay with me here, I know I sound corny, but the biggest thing I learned while studying copious amounts of literature is that we love to be validated and feel included in our consumption of entertainment. What I mean by that is, we love watching, reading, listening, engaging with things that relate to us and our lives and things that make us say “hah I get that! I must be in this cool group of cool people who get that.” Literally for CENTURIES, people have loved “relatable” shit all the way back to Shakespeare. Everyone wants to be liked and everyone wants to be a part of some sort of group, I don’t care who you are.

Taking that into consideration, I one hundred percent believe in sharing my experiences with people. I know social media and blogging is seen as taboo, but it’s not going anywhere anytime soon, so take advantage. I’ve met some amazing girls just from replying to people’s insta stories and I can’t tell you how valuable that is. Therefore, I wanted to share this with you guys: I quit my job. I quit my good-paying, very nice, very stable job so that I can fall head-first into unknown territory and hope I don’t fall flat on my face (and move back to Louisiana and live with my mom). I must be crazy, right? The job I had was mostly a lot of data. It had almost nothing to do with writing or editing or anything creative whatsoever. As long as its money, I thought, that’s the most important thing. I could do my blog on the side and everything would be fine! Turns out, money isn’t everything and I started to just feel drained. I was blogging, but half-assed. My heart really wasn’t in it and I definitely was holding back. I made money, but I felt like I never got to spend any of it because I always felt broke. I went on one interview with a very snooty girl who blatantly asked me, “So what are your goals?” Very easy question and I almost said what I’d been saying for years: Editor. Of course this job had nothing to do with editing, so I had to just make up something I knew she probably wanted to hear. After that, I mentally shook myself and thought, “WHAT AM I DOING?” People kept telling me how I was “living my best life,” but it was starting to feel like I was only doing that on weekends.

Call me crazy, but I wanna be one of those people who actually enjoys what I have to wake up and do every morning. We’ve normalized the notion that doing what you actually want to do with your life isn’t attainable and hating your job is “fine.” I didn’t pack up my whole life, buy a one-way ticket, and stay in a weird apartment above a bar, with a bunch of DUDES for six months so that my life could be “fine.” I came here to do what I’ve always wanted to do because when I’m old and grey sitting on my wrap-around porch in North Carolina, (or south Carolina, I’m not picky), I want to say with certainty that at the very least I gave it my best shot.

For now, I’ll be posting and writing a lot more since my blog has been taking a back seat. Thanks for following me on my strange journey and send me some good vibes, (plz).

NYC Things That Are Worth the Hype (and the Stuff That’s Just Hype)

I wanted to write this post because I feel like I love trying all the things people rave about (or post really pretty Instagram pictures of) and I wanted to give some honest opinions. Ya girl isn’t sponsored, so I’m allowed to say when things are actually worth the money and the ‘gram pic, or if they’re just “the ‘gram pic and leave” sort of thing. Here are a few worth those coins:

Murray’s Cheese Bar: 

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“You’ve talked about this like 8 times we know you love it.” I don’t wanna hear the haters right now!!!!! I love this place and I will talk about it as many times as I want this is my blog!!! Okay I’m done

Magnolia Bakery’s Banana Pudding:

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I’ve had a better cupcake in my day, (don’t burn me for that), but this stuff is unreal. It should honestly have its own name because banana pudding makes me think of Jello pudding and that’s just gross. This stuff is light, airy and not at all the gloppy goop that is Jello.

Freeman’s

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Their door is all over the ‘gram, but their food is worth a stop as well. Pretty sure me and my friend indulge in 3 full courses and no regrets. Also Paul Giamatti sat next to us so it’s gotta be good!

Agavé

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Will all of these be about food??? The answer is maybe, stay tuned. I loved this place. Super hard to get into if you don’t have a reservation, but worth the wait. Atmosphere is slamming and the drinks are continuous, which can be hard to find in a bottomless brunch. “Sorry we’re going to ignore you now that you’ve had 3 drinks and also half of this is water.” None of that please. I’d go back just for the drinks and our super cool waitress (even though I forgot her name and I’m upset about it).

A Yankee’s Game

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No, I don’t suddenly care about baseball, although a beautiful baseball player in my life should sway me. Sometimes, I like baseball rather than football. There’s annoying fans in both, but baseball is less drunk angry yelling. Also might be because the only football games i’ve been to have no alcohol and I’m surrounded by my dangerously drunk peers. At any rate, it makes me feel super NYC without having to get all dressed up.

Central Park

This place can be a little terrifying because it is HUGE, but worth a look. One day, I hope to just walk the entire thing in order to see all it has to offer. Restaurants, statues and iconic scenes are all up in here. If you go in deep enough, you can forget you live in a city that always smells.

IPic Theaters 

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While I could’ve done without the waiter saying “you guys okay?” while there were guns a blazin’ or when he gave us the check while a very serious scene was on, I still recommend this. Nothin’ like relaxing in a giant chair, a blanket, eating some truffle fries and watching a movie on a big screen. Not a cheap thing to do all the time, but definitely when its gross outside and you still want to leave your bed.

Finally, here are the things you can just skip because they are the equivalent of the shrugging emoji:

Rainbow Bagel:

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All the rage in BK right now because you can get them at The Bagel Store in Williamsburg. Very cute and make a great pic, but eating it? Kinda ew. I am the queen of sugar and this was too much for me. I ended up just wanting a regular bagel and this was just sweet bread and a choking amount of icing.

The “club” scene:

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I love nothing more than getting down with some gal pals, but this is just not my vibe. I will say, I have had a fun time once, but I’m over it. It takes a village (a promoter) to even get you in and even in a expedited line, there probably 30 other girls waiting for the same promoter. You feel out of place if you aren’t in a bodycon dress and there’s no where you can even think about talking to anyone. So many better places for dancing without feeling old (EDM hurts my ears).

Please Don’t Tell:

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I’m shocked I wasn’t accosted for even taking a picture in this place. Over hyped and so unnecessarily boujee, this place was just not for me. Speakeasies are all the rage and I’ve been wanting to try this one since I was just a wee intern two years ago. Unfortunately, I like to talk to people outside my party in a bar and drink things that I recognize. Not only did I pay $17 but I didn’t even like the drink and got yelled at for getting up and talking to someone (a cute boy). You will never see me in this place again.

Sunday in Brooklyn:

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I’ve been lusting after these pancakes since I first moved here (pathetic??). I finally decided to try them randomly this weekend. So thick, I didn’t finish them and just a strange flavor overall. I actually did like the vibe of the place, however, just not the pancakes. Not taking a dump on the whole restaurant, but the cakes you can “keep it.”

Tree Lighting in Rockefeller Center:

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Granted, I missed it because I didn’t get in line at 3pm like a psycho, I’m still not a fan. This is one of those things where you’re thinking you really wanna do it and so is about 4,000 people, not including tourists. Ended up waiting in a line for an hour and having a cop laugh at us because there was no way we were gonna see anything of interest. Very Shocked and Upset.

Should I call this Part I? I can definitely see myself doing more of these because I love sharing what I love almost as much as I love sharing what I hate! (just kidding…..kinda)