Adventures in Crazy Workouts: DanceBody

It has been a hot minute since I did one of these babies. I’ve been doing a lot of the same things and trying to keep it consistent, rather than fun. What can I say, I like a routine. I’ve also really been enjoying CorePower Yoga’s Yoga Sculpt class. It’s longer than normal, but I feel amazing afterwards. Definitely worth checking out if you have even a slight interest in yoga. 

On to what I ACTUALLY did. I went to my very first DanceBody class, on a Sunday, no less. I want businesses to know that influence by bloggers works cause the only reason I know about DanceBody is because of a blogger. I, being uncoordinated with dance and having *ahem* larger boobs, was apprehensive about taking this class. After I booked it, I thought “Why am I trying to take this class? My boobs are gonna fly all over the place and I’m going to look absolutely ridiculous. I really should just do a cycling class where it’s dark and comfortable.” BUT, it is 2018 and I’m not here for my own negativity about what my body looks like while trying to workout, thanks. I decided to book the class and interested to see how it would go.

I took the “Follow Along” class, which is the least amount of choreography and concentration. First, everything is fine, you’re dancing looking weird but it’s fine!! Next thing you know you’re sweating, calves dying and somehow it’s only been 15 minutes. This class was no joke. We were jumping and dancing for literally 45 minutes. There’s about an 8 minutes break to do arms, but is it really a break if you’re still moving your entire body I think no! 

The last 10 minutes is a lovely pilates tone while on a mat. It’s nice because you’re on the ground, no more jumping and you can finally breathe. It’s not nice because you’re somehow still out of breath, what the heck, your leg does not bend that way and oh my god I’m shaking. 

All in all, I loved the workout. Yes, it was very hard and yes, watching myself bounce around VERY uncoordinated was weird. However, I tried it, I liked it, I got out of my comfort zone and I didn’t die. The earth is still turing and no one stopped dancing in order to laugh at how uncoordinated I was. I recommend it if you’re a cardio queen like myself, would rather dance than workout or maybe can actually dance? If I was a richer woman, this would be my go-to after a long weekend of drinking and too much pizza. 

 

I Survived: Juicing Edition

I did something I have never done in my life. I didn’t eat for three whole days. As a person who never drinks smoothies, much less juice, this was weird. I never thought I would be one of those juice cleanse people, but here I am. Never say never, ladies.

What made me want to do this:

I was, what the marketing world calls, influenced. I saw a person in the health industry that I respected and followed, do it, so I did it. Honestly, it’s on my list of “never-s.” Oh I would never cut out bread and cheese, I love it! I did that. Oh I’d never go vegan that’s so weird. I did that. The list continues, people. I will say I’ve always been a little curious. What’s the hype? So, just like I did when I moved to New York, I decided in 2.5 seconds and did zero planning and research! Kidding, kinda. I did look at a few different places and watched a couple Youtube videos of people who did them. Minimal research, in other words. I decided to do the same one as my girl Blogilates. As you guys know, I’ve watched her workout videos for about 2 years now and I respect her opinion, okay!

Here’s the one I did:

 

Screen Shot 2018-10-08 at 3.00.09 PM.png

I picked Cleanse 2 instead of the first one, simply because I felt I wouldn’t need a heavy drink in the morning. Cleanse 1 has a smoothie-like drink in the morning and night, while Cleanse 2 only has it at night. I also preferred to keep it as fruit and veggie based as I could—since that’s pretty much the point. I realize this is super expensive, but all in the name of research and pure curiosity? *bank account gives me the super side-eye*

Things I’m going to keep in mind going in:

How I feel overall

How I sleep

How bad are the cravings during and after

How my energy levels are (gonna try to keep doing the same things workout-wise)

Day 1:

I did a really intense HIIT workout this morning since I figured today would be the day I had the most energy. First two juices were really good, the third one not so much. Ginger in a drink is really weird, but I also drink apple cider vinegar—which is basically salad dressing water. Around 3pm I was pretty tired, probably could taken a nap. I didn’t drink any coffee today and my head is HAMMERING. The worst part of today was probably from 3-6 and then I was less like “I could eat so many chips right now its insane.” I will say after day one, I’m a little peeved at myself for thinking I was too good for Cleanse 1 for two reasons. Cleanse 1 had NO BEET JUICE—I had to choke this one down it was awful. It also had one more of the smoothie-like drinks and honestly, that last juice is the only thing I was looking forward to all day. So yeah, not my best idea. Good intentions paved the road of my personal hell (okay I’m being dramatic but you get it). I’m really hoping I wake up refreshed and can actually go for a run tomorrow, let’s see how that goes.

Please enjoy me drinking beet juice:

Day 2:

Last night was rough! It felt like one of those nights you eat until you make yourself sick and you have to force yourself to concentrate on something other than food. As I was going to sleep—early I might add, I resolved to quit this whole thing after one day. I did not feel great about it, being a competitive person and definitely wanting to prove to myself I could do it. This morning, however, I felt a lot better. I wasn’t super tired and my body didn’t seem to hate me too much for not feeding it. I decided to keep going, cause why not? I went for a walk instead of a run mostly because my head is still hurting. I definitely had my coffee too and I have no regrets people! I need my bean juice okay!! Now that my head feels normal, I can focus on how I actually feel. Today was about 100000% better than yesterday. I have way more energy, I’m not craving stuff as intensely as I was and I even had enough energy for a run. Yes you read that right, at 8 pm I went for a run. I never run at night. I just don’t have the energy for it and I don’t want to. Went to sleep at little full still, but so much better than yesterday.

Day 3:

I’m ready for today! No cravings really and I worked out like normal this morning. I took it a little easier and tried not to overextend myself, but pretty much could do everything I normally do. My energy during this is wild. I was so worried I was going to be dead the whole time and that’s so not the case for me. I felt pretty great all morning. By 2 pm, I lost my energy. This seems to be the point in my day where I normally get hungry and don’t have a lot of energy. Kinda of weird, but I guess makes sense. At night, I was definitely feeling hungry again. Not as bad as Day 1, but I could definitely go for a sandwich. Luckily, it was the last day so yay!

Conclusion:

This went from 100-0 real quick. I really thought after Day 1, I was going to report that I quit and was not gonna do it again. However, I actually kind of enjoyed it in a weird way? I thrive on a structured diet, no thinking means no room for “oh man what am I gonna eat ugh I’ll just have chips for dinner.” If I was a richer lady, I would just order those meal kits every week and never have to think about meals again. I also loved not having to cook. Cooking has never been my thing, I need meals to be 10 minutes prep-time and thats it. It was a good way to sort of force myself to get back on track as far as my healthy habits go.

How Did I sleep?- Actually very well, but I wouldn’t say a huge difference than normal. I’m a good sleeper, overall. The thing that I did notice, however, was I woke up feeling super rested and not groggy in the slightest. No matter how much sleep I get, I usually want to go back to sleep after my alarm, but this was different. My alarm went off and it’s like my body was ready for it and I was wide awake.

How bad are the cravings?-So very bad the first day, then lessen as the 2nd and 3rd day go on. I could always eat, but I wasn’t ravenous the whole time

Energy Levels?-Surprisingly normal. After the first day, that is. I would say the 2nd day was the best as far as energy and cravings.

How I feel overall?- Honestly, actually really good. I forget sometimes, how good I feel when I’m eating really healthy. I’ve been letting myself snack A LOT and instead of listening to my body, which was really hurting my moods. I’ll also say my mood was really great after the first day, almost giddy?

Will I do this again?

Actually, yes. Maybe after the holidays when your schedule is messed up and you just want to nap for 10 years. It was a great way to get me back on track as far as making sure I’m putting the ~goods~ in my body. It’s not for everyone, but I really enjoyed it.

 

 

 

 

‘A Christmas Prince’: My Scathing Review

If you are even a person on instagram or have a netflix account (if not please unfollow me that means YOU DAD), then you’ve probably heard of the new Netflix movie A Christmas Prince. Since according to a Netflix tweet 53 people watched it for 18 days straight, I figured it couldn’t be that bad. I was so very wrong.

Plot: 

Every movie about some girl and a Prince either goes one of two ways: she either dates him for a while and then, he’s actually a prince and she’s awkward and doesn’t fit in because she’s “not like all the other boring royal girls” or whatever. The second option is, he’s a prince and she is awkward and weird but somehow earns the trust of one person close to the royal family so they accept her and he finds out that she’s “not like all the other boring royal girls.” This movie is the second option. She is a journalist who works at a crappy place with mean people and all her co-workers say she should just quit already!!!!!!!!!! (but they won’t obviously cause they’re okay with the job actually they’re just sick of her bs).

So first, we meet her Dad. Her mom is dead because of cancer, since apparently divorce is unheard of. Her dad is basically just a mouth piece for the most corny lines you could ever think of. Also he owns a diner in Brooklyn and anytime people talk in the diner, its to say they love him for either his pie or giving them free champagne on New Years. The barf test starts early people just so you know.

She ends up having to travel to Alluvia to cover a story on the prince who is labeled as “a player and a bad boy.” She somehow ends up convincing some very questionable staff that she is the princesses tutor and hilarity ensues, (actually its more barfing)!

Of course the girl is a lil brat who sent all her other tutors running but she’s really just complicated okay! They took her character out of like a stock psychology article that says “parent died and now child is lashing out because she is hurt and misunderstood, needs caring “other” to aid her.”

She’s also randomly in a wheelchair for sympathy.

Next, the barfing continues where they have this little exchange and I really almost said “you know what this ain’t worth it,” but decided to blog about it instead.

Then, they have more corny lines where Amber, (the journalist girl), claims she breaks everything. She broke one singular thing…….Then the little girl tells her she’s, “not like everyone else” which is somehow a good thing for girls? Can we please retire the narrative that girls have to be “not like other girls?” because all girls are cool.

Then she creepily watches him play “the First Noel” and acts like he’s a musical prodigy like I didn’t also know that song when I was in 2nd grade, thank you very much.

Next we meet his obviously awful ex-girlfriend who only wanted him for his crown cause he can’t just have a normal ex, she HAS to be evil.

 

So next, the prince guy is supposed to go to his coronation thing, but, whoops, slipped his mind while he was playing with some orphan children.

Next, they have a really fake snowball fight and just fall right into each others arms.

Next, she starts to question who the prince really is like maybe he’s a decent human? Also, she wears an ugly shirt and takes really bad journalist notes.

Then, she tries to stalk him. I assume she thought this was a good idea because she weirdly nodded to herself before she did it? She then gets on a random horse all willy-nilly and it proceeds to throw her off and run away. She’s now lost in the woods for maybe a couples hours, tops, and gets growled at by one wolf for 4 seconds and of course the prince comes and “saves” her.

Then they have some weird talk about his becoming king and how he just wants to be himself ugh! Prince problems! Next, they read some weird poem by his dad? I don’t really know I kinda stopped listening. All I know is she found some papers in a secret drawer and finds out he’s adopted!!!!!

Then the mean girl kisses him after the night of deep talks, scandal!

She then gets super butt hurt about it for some reason.

Also would like to point out the bitchy girl’s name is Sophia. Honestly trying to steal ya man is something a Sophia would definitely do, am I right ladies?

Then they finally kiss because he’s tired of her talking, which is so gross. I would like this to retire in movies as well.

Next, he’s like come to the ball with me and she’s like okay I’ll wear my ugliest dress!

Then the little girl is like, “here’s a weird bracelet and also you need a makeover cause that hair needs help” which I agree.

That night is the highly anticipated ball and we get to see her makeover! Just Kidding, they just do her hair, give her some intense makeup and call that a makeover.

And of course everyone acts like she’s some angel coming down from heaven cause she put some dust on her eyes.

Also casually versed in the art of dance, of course.

Then the shit hits the fan and he finds out he’s adopted, she’s not really a teacher and everyone is mad at everyone. He literally says “I don’t even know who you are anymore” its like Richard, sweetie, you never did also its been like 4 days, tops.

Next, his cousin tries to take the throne cause he’s the only male heir and marries the bitchy girl. Well, apparently the princes dad’s poem is like some weird riddle he has to solve and this really important document that says, “I am the old king and I am dying but my son is my son because I say so and he’s king now, signed me” is hidden in this acorn ornament that he like gives his daughter??? Its all very weird but of course journalist girl figures it out and saves the day!

This dude then doesn’t talk to her for six whole days, (during which I’m sure she is ripping out her hair and burning his stuff), and then just shows up??? Proving that men have no concept of time, whatsoever.

Then, he of course proposes because forget dating!! Let’s just go all in after knowing each other for 4 days!!

And at first she’s like, “what I live in New York and my dad is here I can’t just move and uproot my whole life for you I don’t even know you!” but then she’s like “ehh who cares, I gotta say yeah based on absolutely nothing!”

 

And there you have ladies and gentlemen, the end. 0/10 would not recommend. If you want a good holiday movie with some romance watch Love Actually or The Holiday both kinda corny with a level of sophistication and no barfing. Please love yourselves and just watch something else. Anything else.

Also enjoy this other scathing review from Vogue.