The Faint of Heart Need Not Apply

I will admit, it took me way too long to write this post.

Not because I’m just so busy (hah), but because I’m always grappling with how much I want to share on here. I’m gonna spoil it for you: this post isn’t necessarily all rainbows and happy-fun-times, which is why it took me so long to write/post. I have to silence the introvert part of my brain that says “OVERSHARE! OVERSHARE! NO ONE WANTS TO KNOW THIS MUCH ABOUT YOU!!! She is very loud and irrationally scared of being judged. As usual, she must be silenced in my quest for true transparency.

It is, although it may not seem like it, hopeful.

A few weeks ago, I had a very important meeting about a job. Not just your run-of-the-mill J-O-B, but something I wanted to do very badly. Let me emphasize that: I wanted this job VERY, VERY BADLY. Enough? Oh man, I thought about it and did all the things to prepare for it. I was determined. I went to the interview and despite being 10 minutes late because of the train and sweaty, I killed it. Not tooting my own horn, I really did. Have you ever gone to an interview where you not only wanted the job, but would put every ounce of passion and determination behind it if you got it? You know you deserve this job, you just have to convince this person, who is not you, that you should get it over anyone else that’s probably equally good if not better. Easy, right?

Afterward, I started doing all the things I thought I would be doing, had I gotten the job. I did all of the things those “self-help” books tell you to do if you want something; act like you already have it. So I did, and I waited. And waited. Just so you know, applying for jobs is a lot of just waiting for people to get back to you. Finally, after a week of waiting I had my answer and it was No. Not literally just an email with the word “no” in bold, that would be horrifying. In different words, but a “no” all the same. So I have my very first soul-crushing “no” under my belt, officially. Am I upset? Yes. Will I be okay? 1,000,000% yes. Mostly because I had already gone through the 7 stages of grief even before I heard back, but also because I will not be stopped. Say that out loud to the all-powerful-universe and tell me that doesn’t give you the chills a little.

This month has been one of the best, but most uncomfortable I’ve ever been. I’ve had to reach out to people, follow up with people, bug people and even message people on Instagram in hopes it will get me where I want to be. I don’t have a clear idea of what that means, but I do know that the things that I’ve been doing lately are getting me there. Therefore, I will not be stopped. As the beautiful and talented Shonda Rhimes said,

Ditch the dream and be a doer, not a dreamer. Maybe you know exactly what it is you dream of being, or maybe you’re paralyzed because you have no idea what your passion is. The truth is, it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to know. You just have to keep moving forward. You just have to keep doing something, seizing the next opportunity, staying open to trying something new. It doesn’t have to fit your vision of the perfect job or the perfect life. Perfect is boring and dreams are not real. Just … do. So you think, “I wish I could travel.” Great. Sell your crappy car, buy a ticket to Bangkok, and go. Right now. I’m serious.

You want to be a writer? A writer is someone who writes every day, so start writing. You don’t have a job? Get one. Any job. Don’t sit at home waiting for the magical opportunity. Who are you? Prince William? No. Get a job. Go to work. Do something until you can do something else. -Dartmouth Commencement Speech 2014

I highly recommend her book as well, The Year of Yes. I’m trying my very hardest to be a doer, not just a dreamer. I can, I will and eventually say “I did.”

 

I Don’t Even Have a “Pla” Year-aversery!

One whole year of blogging went so fast! I had no idea what would come of this when I started it a year ago, but I can 100% say that I would not be where I am right now if I had never started. So crazy how many people actually read this and follow my attempt at being an adult after college.

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Cant believe this picture is over a year old. Really wanna cut my hair again after seeing this (my hair really just needs to be cut in general)

Some parts of this year has been rough (bold for emphasis). The winter was the worst and I felt really weird and moody for a lot of it. Doing this was sort of my own personal self-care and I definitely have gotten out of this what I put into it. Moving here, I knew it would be hard, but I had no idea how it would feel. I put pressure on myself to be doing certain things and spent too much energy worrying about where my life was going and feeling bad about it not looking like I wanted it to. Through all of that craziness, this has been my constant. I’m just now starting to get in my groove of this whole big city life and feeling like I have some clarity career-wise. Reminder that doing scary things might not always feel super stellar, but they are so very worth it!

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One of my very first pictures (I learned to use instagram stories to edit them and lets just say I liked it a lot)

When I first thought about my blog, I just wanted to share food, clothes and beauty stuff that I liked. I was so worried about this being “too personal” because I thought, Who wants to read about me and my life? The dumbest thing I did was doubt myself. I didn’t want to advertise that I was writing a blog, I didn’t want anyone reading it and judging me, which is inevitable no matter what you do. I took myself out of my comfort zone so much this past year and it has paid off dramatically. Recently, I’ve been taking my blog to a more personal level and the feedback has been amazing! Of course I will still be doing my regular fun posts and any NYC advice I have, but I definitely want to share more about my life in the next year.

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One of my first ever “blogger” pics. Still love that outfit

I was trying to think of any advice I had for anyone starting a blog and I can really only think of one thing:

Just start

I spent to much time worrying about people reading it and making it “good,” that it took me forever to even start. Don’t put so much pressure on it that you never even start. It doesn’t have to be perfect, ground-breaking or “important,” it just needs to show people you put some thought and personality into something you love. Reading my very first post is very surreal. Honestly, I still think its funny and cute and maybe I’ll start doing those things-i-love-this-week posts again (even though not a lot of people read those).

^^^(probably the funniest thing     thats ever happened to me)

I would also recommend utilizing Instagram in partner with your blog. I’m gonna get a ‘lil sappy real quick, but I have met some truly amazing girls just interacting on Instagram. Just reaching out to people telling them how cool you think they are might feel super weird, but thats how I’ve made many of the friends I have now.  The three girls you always see me with? Met them through Instagram and would not know what the heck I would be doing right now if I didn’t know them (crying? being lonely? caught up on all tv shows in existence because I’d have nothing else to do?). So much of the criticism of social media is that it’s all very fake and you lose the ability to interact with people. So I try my hardest not to keep it all surface-based and be as honest as i can about my life.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is if you’re even sort of thinking about starting a blog or writing, DO IT. It has changed my life and I cannot wait to see where I’ll be in my second year of blogging!

 

 

The Tah-dews in Nashville

If you haven’t been keeping up with my ‘gram, I just got back from a super fun little va-cay in Nashville this week. I had the MOST fun (shoutout to my cousins Kristen and Andrew!). I honestly came back a little bummed? So weird, I kind of get like that when I visit the south.  I love NYC, but there’s nothing like decompressing in the south for a few days. When I moved here, I never thought in a billion years I would be saying I actually miss the South. Somewhere the universe is laughing at me and my naiveté. Anyway, I’ve been to Nashville a couple times and I wanted to share some stuff that I did that I recommend!

Fourth of July Fireworks Downtown

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This is highly specific to the 4th, but wow they were great. Second only to NYC, of course. They start at 9:30 and last until 10. I was lucky enough to see them from this GORGEOUS downtown apartment. She had full view of them and I was in heaven. She also had the cutest little Persian cats, so, obviously #goals. Just trying to be the NYC equivalent, ya know?

 

Murals

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There’s actually a bunch of murals I wanted to check out, but we only got to this one. There’s also angel wings one and “Nashville looks good on you.” Found this one via thefashionablybroketeacher on Instagram! She’s based in Philly, but goes to Nashville all the time (jealous), so I looked at her pictures for some ideas! This mural went perfectly with all of our fourth of July garb.

Frothy Monkey

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Horrible name, amazing salad.

Hiking Trails


No pictures of this because we were so ~one~ with nature, or I forgot, you decide. They have so many just outside the city and they’re so cute. If I lived here and simultaneously had all of my shit together, I would run at least one day. Great for when you wanna workout, but not super hard.

Nama Sushi

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Been to this place twice now, and it’s amazing. We happened to go when they had half-priced rolls which made it taste that much better. You should definitely try the seaweed salad, sounds horrifying but very good. Trust me.

Losers Bar


Will I come here every time I go to Nashville? Yes. Is it because I saw Garrett Hedlund the first time I went and must see him again? No….maybe a little. They play my favorite country band of all time, Brooks & Dunn, so it is a must-go. 

Meowsic City Cafe

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Cutest little place and I get to pet cats? I’m there. All of the cats are adoptable and even Kristen liked it (and she thinks cats are weird and they say the same about her, probably). All I wanna know is, when are we getting one in NYC?

The Candle Bar

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The day was very gross and rainy, so perfect weather to chill and make some candles! So many fragrances, I could barely choose. I felt like a 60 year old grandma chemist with my beaker and scale! Loved the concept and again, where’s the one in NYC?

Hattie B’s Chicken


Three words: BETTER. THAN. CANES. Still need the sauce, but the chicken was unbelievable and definitely satisfied a very hungover and hangry me. There’s always a line, but you have to go. With three locations in Nashville, its gotta be good.

There you have it, pals! Nashville is one of my favorite places and is home to one of my favorite people, so I absolutely love going. My only qualm is that we went to a party and all the men wore flip-flops. Guys, get it together! Just kidding (kinda). 

 

Life: The Update

One thing I am really trying to do with this whole blog thing is be as real as possible. There’s 18188450401 thousand bloggers out there posting their outfits and their liketoknowit things everyday and that’s it. There’s no real engagement with people who follow them or any personal hints into their own lives. I totally get it, their Instagrams are just a business, a job they need to get done. There’s something to be said about shared experiences as humans. Stay with me here, I know I sound corny, but the biggest thing I learned while studying copious amounts of literature is that we love to be validated and feel included in our consumption of entertainment. What I mean by that is, we love watching, reading, listening, engaging with things that relate to us and our lives and things that make us say “hah I get that! I must be in this cool group of cool people who get that.” Literally for CENTURIES, people have loved “relatable” shit all the way back to Shakespeare. Everyone wants to be liked and everyone wants to be a part of some sort of group, I don’t care who you are.

Taking that into consideration, I one hundred percent believe in sharing my experiences with people. I know social media and blogging is seen as taboo, but it’s not going anywhere anytime soon, so take advantage. I’ve met some amazing girls just from replying to people’s insta stories and I can’t tell you how valuable that is. Therefore, I wanted to share this with you guys: I quit my job. I quit my good-paying, very nice, very stable job so that I can fall head-first into unknown territory and hope I don’t fall flat on my face (and move back to Louisiana and live with my mom). I must be crazy, right? The job I had was mostly a lot of data. It had almost nothing to do with writing or editing or anything creative whatsoever. As long as its money, I thought, that’s the most important thing. I could do my blog on the side and everything would be fine! Turns out, money isn’t everything and I started to just feel drained. I was blogging, but half-assed. My heart really wasn’t in it and I definitely was holding back. I made money, but I felt like I never got to spend any of it because I always felt broke. I went on one interview with a very snooty girl who blatantly asked me, “So what are your goals?” Very easy question and I almost said what I’d been saying for years: Editor. Of course this job had nothing to do with editing, so I had to just make up something I knew she probably wanted to hear. After that, I mentally shook myself and thought, “WHAT AM I DOING?” People kept telling me how I was “living my best life,” but it was starting to feel like I was only doing that on weekends.

Call me crazy, but I wanna be one of those people who actually enjoys what I have to wake up and do every morning. We’ve normalized the notion that doing what you actually want to do with your life isn’t attainable and hating your job is “fine.” I didn’t pack up my whole life, buy a one-way ticket, and stay in a weird apartment above a bar, with a bunch of DUDES for six months so that my life could be “fine.” I came here to do what I’ve always wanted to do because when I’m old and grey sitting on my wrap-around porch in North Carolina, (or south Carolina, I’m not picky), I want to say with certainty that at the very least I gave it my best shot.

For now, I’ll be posting and writing a lot more since my blog has been taking a back seat. Thanks for following me on my strange journey and send me some good vibes, (plz).

Advice on Adulting and Doing Scary Life Shit

As you’ll notice immediately from the title of this post, this is not your vibes for the week. I am very sorry. I will talk about my fun adventures and cool stuff maybe in the middle of this week? Idk. But anyway. If you’re only here for the vibes feel free to tune in next week….

I don’t know if any of you reading this has made a big move in their lives lately, but lemme let you in on a little secret………………………………………..

Its HARDDDDDDDDDDD. Especially living in a city where you know exactly 5 people and not really on the “take a bullet for me and let me fart in front of you” level (farting is also as important as a bullet). I’m used to living with my cousins whom I would do all of the above for and my mom being an hour away if I ever need anything. Up here, I have to fend for myself in a lot of ways I didn’t anticipate. So I wanted to do this post giving some tips/advice for anyone moving somewhere far away or just adulting and scared. Mostly NYC stuff cause that’s what I know.

First and foremost, just do it

One of my biggest struggles was actually making the decision to move and following through with it. I wanted to do it so so bad when I was actually in school, but then after I graduated, things got a little too real. I was stuck in the “planning for tomorrow and now tomorrow is today” and I got scared shitless, not gonna lie. I worried about money, if I would ever get a job, if i’d be lonely and sad, if I’d hate it up here, if I’d ever be able to come home again and if I should just move somewhere closer. Ultimately, New York has always been a goal of mine and I just got fed up with myself and within the span of 2 weeks, got a plane ticket, got a place and got outta town. It’s something you can’t overthink, you have to feel it and do it.

You have more stuff than you think and getting it all over there is gonna suck

Packing all of my stuff and moving up here was so sucky. I have way more stuff than I anticipated and it was soo stressful trying to decide what I really needed and what I could live without. My bags were all packed to the GILLS which stressed me out and they were HEAVY, which means getting my carryon out of the overhead bin was a struggle. To be honest though, I wouldn’t change it. I packed enough to where I had everything I needed and none of my luggage got lost, thank god.

DO NOT TRY AND GET AN APARTMENT IMMEDIATELY, I REPEAT, DO NOT

I seriously considered just getting an AirBnB for two weeks and then getting an apartment which is so very stupid and I’m glad I didn’t. If you’re moving to a place thats basically foreign to you and you can’t actually look at the apartments, do not try and get anything immediately. I got an Airbnb for a month and a half and it’s still a struggle trying to find an apartment. Honestly, that’s the most challenging thing for me. Explore areas you like and try to find places there. It also takes forever to get a place because they’re all over the city and working full-time while trying to look at places is craziness. Save yourself the trouble and just get something temporarily.

Dont buy too many groceries, you eat out more often than not

This is really just a New York thing, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve just bought meals because I was doing something till really late after work, or I didn’t have enough time to go home and grab something. Sometimes, it’ll take me an hour to get home from the city, so buying dinner is a necessity unless I wanna eat at 10pm. Whole Foods also just happens to be right next to my work, and they have buffalo cauliflower so in the end I’m eating better than I would at home, thank you.

Dude just take the damn Uber

I love the subway. It’s usually fast and it’s cheap. But sometimes, and I struggle with this, I should’ve just taken an Uber. For example when I wanna wear heels to brunch and everyone on the subway looks at me like I’m the lochness monster. Or when I’m moving my shit out of my apartment and I really can’t carry everything without making another trip. Or when you just really wanna ride in a nice car that’s quiet and doesn’t smell like pee and you don’t have to be around other people. Sometimes you just gotta stop being cheap and give yourself a break from the subway hustle.

 

Determination will get you everywhere

Living in New York can get pretty difficult. From basically getting hit by a car, to moving out of an apartment without a car, to finding out you’ve been walking the wrong way down a street for 30 minutes, this city can be stressful. It definitely has kept me on my toes. One thing that has got me through it is determination, plain and simple. I’ve wanted to be here since I can remember and the more time I spend in New York, the more I fall in love with it. I am determined to be in this place that I love more than I’m willing to let its hardships bring me down. You have to want it more than any of the bullshit the city and life are gonna throw at you whether its a job or an apartment or just trying to thrive. You have to want it, like really bad.

Sometimes your decisions are gonna have to be quick. They’re worth it

I’ve had to make some quick and stressful decisions this past couple months more than I ever have in my life. New York moves so fast and it can be hard to keep up, especially coming from the South. I love it, but it’s a crazy adjustment. You gotta hustle hard and just got with it. I’m not used to making decisions, especially big ones, on the fly. Take a breath and figure it out.

Support Support Support

Lastly, I would not and could not be where I am right this second without the support of my family and friends. Everyone has their own opinions about the decisions you make in your life. I had a bunch of people saying how crazy I was for moving up here with no job.  They were right of course and I knew it, but I had to go and find out for myself. However, I also had my fair share of support. Its the simple things like “wow you’re so brave that’s amazing” or when people get excited with you when you tell them about the cool adult thing you just did. I also wanna brag on my parents as well. My parents are amazing and have always supported anything and everything i have ever wanted to do. I can’t tell you how rad it feels when your mom says she’s proud of you or your dad taking care of something you just can’t do on your own. I’m so lucky to have amazing parents and friends who push me to do better and be better always. If you can support anyone doing anything scary or crazy, do it.

This probably goes without saying because ya’ll probably can tell from my posts but this crazy wild decision is the best one I’ve made in a long time. Right up there with going to LSU and buying that slice of pizza this morning.  It’s been a crazy month but it also feels like I’ve been here forever? Excited for the fun times to come.