The Dating App Conundrum

When I moved here for an internship my junior year of college, I was the queen of dating apps. I really only used Bumble (this was pre-Hinge) and found pretty decent success. I was broke and knew absolutely no one so dating apps were fun when I was bored and wanted to do something in the city. I also lived in the East Village, which is prime for dating and going out in your 20’s. It gave me some much needed distraction and hey, summer of fun in the city. 

In college back home, I never used them. I had enough success—or should I say I had enough “distractions” going out to bars that I really just didn’t need them. I definitely used them when I was bored and needed a confidence boost, but never really dated anyone from them. I always felt like I had to be constantly talking to someone, so any lull in my boy-craziness needed to be filled with a stint on a dating app that I would give up a week later.

Since moving here, I picked it back up again. I would say 9 out of 10 times are usually a bust. Since I actually live here now and it’s not just a summer vacation, it’s almost a chore. Out of the dates I’ve been on in the last year, only 2 have made it past the first date and only 1 further than that. I was listening to a podcast and a comedian said it best, “I don’t use dating apps because the “vibe” I give off online is not really me. You don’t usually like someone just based on pictures, it’s peoples energy.” I try way too hard on dating apps to sound funny and original, therefore I look like a weirdo. I try to match with people who also sound funny and original on dating apps, therefore I match with guys who aren’t my type more often than not. No idea why that is.

I’d first like to point out some weirdos and just general funny stuff that seems to happen only on dating apps. Ladies, read it and weep—with laughter:

First, let’s start off with some weird trend I’ve been noticing (that definitely need an explanation and a cease and desist):

When answering the question “The last time you cried was…,” an ALARMING amount of men have said the movie Click. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s that really horrible movie with Adam Sandler aka basically every movie he’s in ever. The fact that enough men are crying during this movie that I’ve noticed is so horrible I don’t wanna think about it.  Adam god-damn Sandler, I can’t. 

When asked about their last meal, chicken parmesan is a very popular answer. I think I’ve eaten that once in my whole life. Not a bad choice, but so weird. I guess it’s better than saying pizza, but really only one step up.

Job title as “looking” or “entrepreneur” translates in my brain to “unemployed and will take you to a dive bar and split it.” Just make something up related to what you do or put what you WERE doing, duh.

Linked Instagram accounts: mixed feelings about these because sometimes they add more pictures of the guy. HOWEVER, some people should not. For example, if your entire Instagram is you doing “motivational” videos. I also ran into a guy who had an entire Instagram of….boats. Like maybe keep a little mystery going into date 1, just a thought.

Here’s some gems I managed to screenshot and am very happy I did:

Just trying to match with the general population. Nothing specific
Who’s gonna tell this guy it’s 2018 and everyone has seen Star Wars….
I think I’ll go out to dinner. I don’t fancy being cooked???
Is he here just to make friends??
Can’t communicate, someone help him
Do you live in New York City, yes or no?
This was a solid burn and I don’t feel bad. Okra is DISGUSTING
Thanks Justin! 
33,000 people at LSU but yep, toooootally know him. Also serial killer response
this guy never matched with me because he doesn’t like to be corrected. I really wanna know if he fixed the spelling, it haunts me everyday.
This guy never matched with me either, I mean COMEON he probably never got something so funny he didn’t know how to handle it.
I hope this guy found love cause he deserves it

Lastly, I’d like to say that men are still out here, in 2018, thinking selfies are okay. They are not. Please, please stop taking shirtless pictures, pictures in your car (???), pictures in your bathroom mirror with your leg on the sink (this is a real picture I saw of a guy who had the AUDACITY TO MATCH WITH ME. If you want to see it DM me). I know for a fact your mom makes you take pictures every Christmas, your fired who are girls take pictures of you or get your bro to take one I DONT CARE. No selfies in 2019 thank you. 

Needless to say, I deleted them all recently. I think it’s a good idea to take breaks from dating apps. I haven’t in a while and I have to say I really don’t miss it. If it gets monotonous, delete it. You don’t need to waste energy and good makeup on a boring date! All the power to you if you like them and you met your boyfriend/husband/soulmate, but I’m tired and its getting cold as hell. I’ll be watching Christmas movies and hanging with my friends until further notice.


24 Facts On My 24th

Hi yes, it is the moment you’ve been waiting for. It’s finally my birthday! I can’t believe I’m 24, but also feels like I should be 30 by now since this year has felt so long. Figured I’d do a fun fact post about me cause why not? I’m FUN. None of the generic “I’m from the south and I like pizza!” shit, some WEIRD facts and some funny ones.

  1. Anytime I buy clothes, I have to get more than one thing. It’s also usually pants and a shirt but they probably don’t go together so my closet is basically a mess of things I barely wear that only go with black.
  2. In Kindergarten, I changed my favorite color from pink to blue because the boy I liked, liked blue. It’s been blue ever since, but I can’t believe it was shaped by a BOY.
  3. Undiagnosed, but I’m pretty sure I have Halitophobia(the fear of bad breath) because I always have gum and chew it constantly.
  4. I’ve never owned a dog. Both my parents hated dogs, but I always had a cat, growing up. 
  5. I love sleep. I recently told someone staying up late is my least favorite thing and its true. If I get less than 8 hours, I’m super cranky 
  6. I hate brushing my teeth and it’s the last thing I do when I go to sleep and when I leave my place. Basically, I put it off till the very last second.
  7. I had a period after graduating high school where I was adamant about going to school in NYC. I, for some reason, loathed the idea of going to LSU. I even paid an application fee to apply to Hunter college, but I chickened out. Thank god.
  8. I’ve been working out for over 10 years and haven’t gone more than a week without doing some sort of workout
  9. I used to HATE sweet potatoes until I cooked them myself. I still think putting cinnamon and marshmallows with them is a crime against food. 
  10. When I was younger, I always said I wanted to be married by the time I was the age I am now. 
  11. I don’t like Thanksgiving. Bad memories of me having to eat green bean casserole and sweet potatoes with marshmallows. 
  12. On my first day of freshman year of high school, I HAD to listen to “Fifteen” by Taylor Swift. I also listened to “Jack and Diane” when I turned 16. I also listen to “Hotel California” when I went to California. 
  13. I used to want to be a singer growing up and even named myself “Jennasee Star.” I took voice lessons for a few years and was in choir for a while, but my stage fright is awful, so I quit.
  14. My junior year of high school, I got unhealthily obsessed with One Direction. I basically followed their every move for an entire summer. Keep in mind, I was 17 and other people were probably getting drunk and going to parties. 
  15. I re-watch movies I like, all the time. I like knowing how they end and knowing it’s gonna be a good movie without having to invest in a new one.
  16. I read my horoscope, but only really believe it when I want something good to happen.
  17. I love driving, but I’m super bad at it. I’ve been in four wrecks and at least two ditches. My last wreck totaled my car and it was a four car pile up. No one ever got hurt, but they were not pretty.
  18. My brother knocked out my front tooth as a kid and I had a snaggle tooth until I got braces at 15
  19. Almost all of my clothes are either Forever 21 or H&M, since I prefer to buy my clothes in multiples
  20. I’m more close to my mom, but definitely have the personality of my dad (and his nose).
  21. I’ve always kept a journal. I have some from me at 5 all the way to now. I try to keep them semi-detailed because I hate re-reading them and having zero idea what I’m talking about. 
  22. I had ombré hair for a year and let’s just say it wasn’t cute. I was basically blonde
  23. My first job ever was at Subway and I got fired for calling in sick on a Sunday because my boss thought I was just hungover. I wasn’t, it was just too late to take off that day and I had something else I wanted to do. 
  24. I recently (like maybe a month ago) found out the Karen Carpenter did not die of a “hunger strike” like my parents told me. I never googled it, I have no idea why.

Cheers to 24 years! I can’t wait to see how this year goes, I have a great feeling it’s gonna be a good one. To 23, I invoke the great Ariana Grande and say “Thank you, next.

 

Masturdating: Because We lovin’ Ourselves in 2018, Ladies

Happy November 1st! Or should I say Happy Birthday Month to me! I love November, not just because of my birth, but also because it’s officially Fall—in my book. Which means, it’s cuffing season, ladies. If you’re not familiar with the term, let me enlighten you. Cuffing season is a relatively new term, which as defined by urban dictionary, means:

During the Fall and Winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be “Cuffed” or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.

Basically, you exclusively hook-up with one dude for the winter months because it’s too cold to go out and face the horrors of endless “first dates.” Can’t relate? Probably because you live somewhere where it gets 40 degrees for 3 days and you can easily remedy ANY cold weather by not having to walk more than five feet anywhere because you have a CAR (I’m not bitter).

Since living in this fridged wasteland, I’ll be the first to say I was down for this. Actually experiencing the cold here and thinking about going on a lack-luster first date is it’s own American Horror Story. So, you deal with someone that can best be described as “meh” so you don’t have to face the cold and let’s be real, the holidays, alone. Sounds great? Wrong-o. This turns out to be its own hell where you end up making this more than it really is and feeling exhausted giving 95% while the guy give 5%. Next thing ya know you’re back where you started and a touch more bitter than you were previously.

SO WHAT IS A SINGLE GAL TO DO? Let me introduce you to ”masturdating,” AKA my new favorite word I learned from my beautiful friend, LaurelDid I read that right? Probs not,but allow me to fix that. What does this mean? Again, we travel back to Urban Dictionary:

In this lewd yet satisfying activity, one will engage on an ordinary date with his/herself and with the objective to impress and please only themselves.

If you’ve ever watched Sex in the City, this might sound a little familiar. They devoted one episode where Carrie basically dates herself (and New York?) and has a marvelous time hanging out by herself−some other stuff happens, but I digress. In a city with a plethora of things to do, I highly suggest dating yourself. When I first moved here and had zero friends, I did things by myself all the time. It takes a second to get used to and feels a little awkward, but start small. The easiest thing to do by yourself, is the movies. The lights stay on for a few minutes and then everyone shuts up and you’re all in the dark for 2 hours. No one will even notice you enjoying your candy by yourself and living your best life! I’ve done this a bunch of times when it was rainy and I just wanted a quiet day not spent in my apartment. I’ve sat in the park and read a book on a nice day and even taken myself to lunch—usually just pick a quiet place or a weird off-time. One day I may even take myself to dinner (which honestly, sounds a little scary).

If you read this and your first thought is why would I want to hangout by myself, that sounds so boring. Ask yourself why anyone else would wanna hangout with you if you don’t even wanna hangout with you? *mic drop*

 

The Purge: Social Media Style

Hello New York City, I’m back in you!

If you’re confused, I went home this weekend to visit the South. I flew into Nashville and took a road trip down to Baton Rouge, where I went to college. I hadn’t been down to Baton Rouge since moving to NYC. Every time I go back home it feels weird, but comfortable. I’ve lived there all my life, I know how it works and how people normally are. It’s strange, considering when I was growing up, I always thought that wasn’t where I was supposed to be. I wasn’t like all these people. I was gonna do stuff with my life and leave this boring place. I feel like, since graduating, I’m never doing enough. In the words of Carrie Bradshaw:

In New York, you’re always looking for a boyfriend, a job or an apartment.

I’d even extend that further. You’re always looking for something. I’m always trying and failing to keep up. I’m constantly reminded of designer names I don’t recognize, places I’ve never been and can’t afford to go, and apartments I won’t be able to afford for years. If this sounds exhausting, lemme say, it is 100%. I’m always going and hustling and wondering if I should be trying harder or working more. When I go home, it gives me a chance to slow down and look at my life without living it for a while. I’m reminded of how stupid I feel and how much I just want to stop the whole “Rise & Grind” and maybe stay in bed for a while.

Social media is great in so many ways. I get to connect with people all over and it’s the reason I can even write this and the reason anyone can read it. It can also be isolating. I know people say all the time “social media isn’t real” and I don’t think anyone is dumb enough to still believe everything they see online. However, I watch Instagram stories like movies. Tiny snip-its of people’s lives that I may or may not actually know. In 10 minutes, I can see where someone lives, works, what they wore, who they saw and where they went. It’s someone’s apartment that looks nicer than mine, the fact that they can go grab drinks on a week day, they look like they have a ton of fun at work or they have a link to a sweater I wish I could buy. Sometimes, it’s taking an Uber to a bar with friends, something I almost never do because it’s an unnecessary expense.

I was talking with someone recently about this who also moved away from home and she said something that stuck with me, “We get really caught up in just trying to survive here, that when we go back home, we wonder what the heck we’re even doing and why.”

So what does this have to do with social media? I decided to unfollow a bunch of people recently. Not because their content wasn’t good, or they were just generally annoying, but because looking at their posts and stories made me feel bad about where I am in my life. I started questioning everything I do, including the things I enjoy, and wondering if I should be changing it. Why aren’t my posts prettier, why don’t I buy things from this place I’ve never heard of, why don’t I go out more, why don’t I live there etc. It’s ridiculous. So now, I’m only following people who:

  • Are generally funny and entertaining (I love laughing and love doing that for others as well)
  • Inspire me in some way (not just inspire me to make more money or buy more clothes, but to push myself more in a good way)
  • Are people I genuinely enjoy seeing on my feed (it’s literally MY instagram, why am I following people I don’t genuinely like seeing?)

I’m still figuring out what exactly my brand is—I get closer to figuring that out as I write these little posts. I’m working more towards being someone who actually makes people better after leaving my page, rather than just envious of my life. If you ever feel like this, you’re 100% not alone. I just read an amazing post by Mimosas and Manhattan, whom I’ve been following (and will be continuing to follow) for a while now. She mostly talks about blogging full-time, but also touches on how easy it is to feel like what you’re doing—no matter what that is, isn’t enough. If what I post makes you feel like absolute crap about your life, I don’t mind if you unfollow. I unfollowed people who I actually liked, just because I couldn’t handle how bad it was making me feel. Believe me, you’re doing enough and at least for me, Katie from a year ago would think I was freakin’ killing it.

Fall Trends I’ll Actually Be Participating In

I know I don’t talk about fashion very often. I feel it’s a little cliché, as if I suddenly moved here and now somehow know fashion? Maybe a little ridiculous, since I wear the same 3 things over and over no matter how many things are in my closet. However, I would like to think I am somewhat abreast–english major word, on trends as a woman who walks around this city. Also, as a woman who shops, I’m inevitably slightly trendy no matter what. I’ll try anything once, except low-rise jeans. If those ever come back, I’m out.

 

Cheetah Print

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Kinda dig these pants too…..

I currently have cheetah print earrings (not as weird as it sounds) and I officially need more. I want a long, cover-my-butt long, furry, cheetah print coat for sure. Winters are long and I would love nothing more than facing the cold in a fuzzy coat that feels like a blanket. Currently, I’m eyeing this one. Never thought spending money on coats was worth it until moving here. Also, I am in serious need of cheetah print booties. Target had some really cute ones last year–I somehow never got them and unfortunately they are no more. Dying over these from DSW as well as these mules on sale. Overkill to wear them at the same time? Asking for a uh, friend.

“Modesty dressing”

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Definitely will be rocking this jacket

I took this phrasing from a magazine article, I would never say this. Translated, I would say this is the reason turtle necks are back and oversized clothing. Thank GOD, because let me just speak for everyone when I say big clothes are so much a mood in the winter. I can’t think of anything worse than worrying about my neck being cold because I have to wear a v-neck to be in-style. I’m totally here for turtle neck layering as well–think turtle neck + tank top over it. I love a good simple black one for layering with tank tops like this velvet one, or a chunky one for hiding from the world when it too cold for caring.

Plaid, Check, Pinstripe: Oh my

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I suddenly need loafers

 

Although this isn’t super new, I really need this to stay. Mostly because the pants in these prints are usually oversized–think “man-dressing” as the kids are calling it and I love it. Again, I love anything that’s oversized for comfort and also it makes me feel tinier than I am. Loving this style and this I need, basically just that whole second outfit is in my cart (for eternity). I NEED a pinstripe blazer and a checked coat, just as I need candy corn at all times in the Fall. Oversized, of course, and I want this one. Kind of reminds me of British style for the rich, but I guess fake it till you make it?

Leather

 

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Mixing fun and edgy

Still upset about my leather jacket being stolen from me at the clurb (aka club for all the old folks). It the best jacket when your arms are cold, but you still wanna be cool; literally and figuratively. I’m definitely in the market for a new one and maybe this cool brown one? Not sure how I feel about colored leather, but brown I can do. Leather skirts are always my Fall favorite, and maybe I could get into some leather shorts. For some reason, I like brown leather shorts more than black. I think brown leather shorts alway look slightly less suffocating and tight.

Scarves

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If I wear red and white am I a picnic basket?

 

Not talking about the big chunky ones (do those ever go out of style?), but the neck scarves. I have exactly one, and I wear it every chance I get. These are great because you can wear them in your hair, on your neck, as a shirt, a belt, and a headband. I’ve done all three with the one I have, but sadly it’s vintage. Grabbing these from Madewell!

Bright Colors

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(if you click the link this sweater is neon I swear)

This is just something I’ve been spotting lately when looking for sweaters. Usually, fall and winter colors are pretty dark, think grey, black, maroon, orange. I’ve been seeing more of a push towards brighter colors, even neon. I usually associate neon with sports and bad dressing in high school, but if it looks like this sweater I could get into it.

I pretty much just shopped and by that I mean I put a bunch of things in my cart where they will sit for the next two weeks!!!!!

I will now leave you with this horror I found the other day while scrolling through Instagram:

 

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I’m inconsolable.

Let’s Get Skintimate: The Update, Honey.

You see what I did? ‘Cause I use honey on my face now. Alright, moving on.

giphy-4

As promised, I am finally updating you guys! I feel like using honey as a cleanser makes me sounds so hipster. Next, I’ll be saying “I also switched to only filtered water on my face while the bees come down from the heavens and put the honey directly on my face.” Side note: do bees poop honey or throw up honey? I have questions.

 

I have officially been using 4 new and different things on my face and I wanted to update you guys on how its been. Keep in mind, it’s only been a month. Who knows what it will be in six months, but fingers crossed it resembles a model when she uses Facetune on her Instagram selfies (too real?).

So, here’s my weird picture of everything I’ve been using:

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Honey, Lemon, Coconut Oil & Collagen Pills

Honey: This is part one of two of my cleanser ingredients. For every two-parts honey, I use one-part lemon. I usually do two tablespoons of honey and one of lemon. This has actually been GREAT. Notice, it is bolded, capitalized and italicized. Its real. So I use this both at night and in the morning. I try to let it sit on my face for a few minutes before I take it off. I feel like it seeps in better, but this could really all be in my head. I’ve broken out a little bit in the past month, but it’s super manageable. I don’t get monster zits, they’re really tiny and mostly in like one or two areas. Mostly, around my jaw and I broke out recently right next to my lips (come get you a kiss, boys!). Like I said, so easily covered and barely noticeable.

Lemon: My OG since January? I don’t know how long, but I’ve been using it a hot minute. It has yet to let me down, so it will probably use it till my dying day. I was a little bit hesitant when I mixed it with honey. I wasn’t sure how my skin would react to me not using it by itself. Admittedly, my skin was a little inflamed for a bit. After a couple weeks, it calmed down. Highly recommend!

Coconut Oil: I started using this as a makeup remover and wow-ie wow. My skin eats this shit UP. I only use it if I’ve worn makeup that day, but I swear my skin looks the best when I use this before washing my face. No joke, the next day its baby smooth and my makeup goes on even better. At the very least, if you listen to nothing else in this post, please start using oil as a makeup remover. Wipes are so harsh and this stuff has helped so much with my skin’s texture. (I get the one from Trader Joe’s simply because its cheapest).

Collagen Pills: This may be the thing that has smoothed out my face the most. The jury is still out since I did all four of these things at the same time. This stuff has really smoothed it out and just given it such a glowy look. It’s almost as if I haven’t gone through years of acne trauma! Will 100% be continuing this stuff as well.

So here’s a refresher, skin before:

 

 

Skin today:

 

IMG_5538IMG_5539IMG_5540

 

 

Okay, just adding these pictures and comparing, I can totally see a difference. Just wanna say, either way, both is me. My skin has never held me back in any way, nor do I think having clearer skin suddenly solves all my problems. I mean, it didn’t make me no money. I did this just to try it! Maybe my skin could be better, but if not, I’m unbothered. I definitely think it starts with what you put in your body first. THAT BEING SAID, my skin has really improved. I’m ecstatic with how this lil’ experiment turned out and I even got an unsolicited compliment on my skin (thanks Kate!). Excited to maybe try some more things and see how everything looks in a few months!

How To Survive in NYC (for a year)

I have to preface this by saying, I only know how to survive here for a year so far, so take this how you will.

It’s crazy as hell to think I’ve been living here for a whole year. Can I make it anywhere now? Just kidding, I have not “made it.” I do think I could probably live anywhere now. I’ve said it before, but this has been a long year, but also a very short year. So much is different, including myself. Not to sound fake deep and corny, but moving here has really changed me and tested me. Sometimes when I really didn’t want to change or be tested (the city really be testing me a lot).

It didn’t start out all rainbows and kisses, though. This also marks the day I missed my 6 am flight (never again), had a 4 hour layover, broke down because I couldn’t figure out how to get into the Airbnb I had rented and finally collapsing into sleep at 2 am after realizing I was trying to open the wrong door. Some of my experiences here have been just like that: a mess.

Obviously, not everything about NYC is messy. Cool things happen here all the time, like Christmas, full bands in the middle of the subway station, going to very fancy places when you are not fancy. Sometimes, just walking around is my favorite thing I did all day.

Anyway, these are the things I’ve learned since living here. Also, a few tips if you move here.

 

Unlimited subway passes are not for “rich people”

First of all, rich people aren’t taking the subway. Second, if you don’t get the unlimited and you have to commute for work everyday, you’re gonna be spending more money for no reason. This is generic, but I did it for like two months and would choose between walking somewhere and taking the train.

Figure out the easiest way to get home at night and at normal times

Okay, so the trains are ridiculous after like 9pm on a weekday and weekends. Sometimes they run late night, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they tell you, and sometimes they don’t. If you only know one train home, you’re gonna be screwed. Figure it out now, or freak out when its dark and scary. Your choice ladies. My advice, always know how to get home from Union Square. Almost every train passes through there, so it’s a very easy spot to get to.

Always charge your phone. I repeat. ALWAYS CHARGE YOUR PHONE

Or keep one of those dorky battery packs with you. I choose to charge because that doesn’t fit in my cute, small, purse. I say this because there may come a night when your phone dies, you have no idea where you are and you decided to keep talking to a guy who has now ditched you. This will be very terrifying at 4 am. Charge your phone, or cry because you don’t know how to get to the L from where you are. (also, before someone calls me out, I was in the west village so the streets were not numbered!!!).

All pizza basically tastes the same. Don’t believe the hype.

Lemme tell you, I’ve had a lot of pizza in my time here and I still like the dollar slices.   Maybe that makes me a cheap date, but I will accept this title with pride. Everyone here acts like a pizza snob because some people put some noodles on it or an extra blob of cheese. Also, Joe’s pizza sucks. Catch me standing in a horrendous line for burnt pizza, I have lost my mind.

Just take the Uber to the Airport, unless you want to spend all day trying to get there.

If you have all day to kill and want to be cheap, go for it. If you wanna go to work half-day and then fly, DO NOT TRY TO TAKE THE TRAIN OR BUS. It’s just not worth the inevitable “hi can I skip you? my flight is leaving in 10 minutes and if I don’t make it I may cry right here in front of you and that is awkward for everyone involved.”

Don’t live in New Jersey

Just don’t. There’s only one train and it’s slow. You’ll never convince me otherwise

Times Square is horrifying

I thought so when I moved here and it has only been solidified since I had to work near it. No where else will you run into people just standing around looking up or a creepy dude in an Iron Man costume saying “oh my god you look so good hello beautiful.” Why broadway shows are there, I will never know.

Bodegas are legit. Not everything there is super cheap, though.

I can get asparagus for a dollar, but Cheerios are 5 bucks. Rx bars are maybe 50 cents more and almond butter is like 4 dollars more. I’d say, get most produce there, but the extra stuff you’re gonna wanna go to the real store(more than likely whole foods).

Buying too much at the grocery store isn’t a cute lil meme, its actually the WORST THING YOU CAN DO

Lemme tell you right now, buying groceries is a horrible experience. If you get too much stuff and tragically have to get two bags instead of one, you are about to be very uncomfortable on the train, off the train and walking your dumb butt home. Shopping online was 100% invented by a New Yorker because absolutely no one wants to drag a bunch of bags home. My only advice is that you buy gloves for the winter and get an apartment close to the train (you won’t think thats a big deal at first because you can walk but some day you may have a ripped whole foods bag and will be cursing yourself for that mistake), or by some miracle have a whole foods right by your house.

New Yorkers aren’t mean, they just mind their business and maybe are in a constant irritated state

If anyone in the South sits down and starts chatting with you, it’s weird, but kinda fine. If anyone does that in New York, the person is homeless, insane, or both. Most of the time, New Yorkers are just trying to get wherever they need to go n one piece and quickly. I think this HuffPost article sums it up the best:

Wake up in a small room.
Leave the apartment to grab a coffee. Wait in line.
Get honked at by a cab driver while trying to cross the street (you didn’t cross fast enough).
Get to the subway. Five people push you into the train car because EVERYONE is in a rush.
You’re smushed, and way too close to a stranger for comfort.
Get out of the train, get bumped into by five people trying to cut in front of you to get to the stairs.
Walk into your office building. Wait in line for the elevator.
Try to squeeze into the elevator, but too many people. Wait for the next one.
Get to your desk.

We have a reason to be irritated. You try doing this every single day.

New York during Christmas is a magical experience

Everyone should come here in December at least once. New York probably spend an unholy amount of money to make itself the place to be during Christmas and it shows. There’s so much to do and so little December (and also too many people).

I promise you this, everyone is hustling just as much as you are and also feel like they’re failing

New York can make you feel like you are never doing enough. It costs an extreme amount of money just to exist in this place, so it can feel like you can never catch up. You’re over worked and get paid what can feel like nothing just to live. Sometimes, it feels like everyone else makes more, lives better, has more etc. In reality, whatever person you’re looking at is probably older, has worked for years longer than you or is struggling as well and just looks like they’re better off. No one is posting their failures.

Making friends is hard. You’re gonna have to look like weirdo to make them, but its worth it.

Being blasé about making friends will get you absolutely no where. You’re gonna have to put yourself out there, feel stupid, meet people you don’t necessarily vibe with and even do some stuff by your damn self. You’ll come out on the other side, but the loneliness can be stifling if you let it. Don’t.

Believe what people say, it’s HARD to live here. (It’s worth it)

In case you can’t tell, it is hard to live here. It costs a lot for very little space. There’s a billion people. It smells. You feel FOMO all the time. The winter is death. Sometimes you get up and just wanna go back to sleep for a month because you’re really tired of “rise and grind.” Something that always makes me feel a little better is that, eventually, I won’t live here. I will have done (hopefully) all of the things I wanted to do, and will be tired of all this hustle and bustle and move my butt out of here. The doe-eyed look you get when you first move here is going to fade with the “rat race” of everyday life, but the city still has some tricks up its sleeve if you really want to see it. You have all of your life to experience being slower-paced and settling yourself down. Living here is not for the weak or the slow. Do it now, because the story later is the best to tell. Whether its 1 year or 10, it’s a great career move. You really can make it anywhere if this is where you start. Also it’s really fun to vacation other places and tell people where you live (people automatically think you’re living your best life whether that’s actually true or not).

 

Why I’m Switching My Skincare

My post about my skincare was basically a lead-in to this because I am going to actually try to have beautiful baby skin for the first time in 10 years! As yo guys know, I’ve been struggling for-EVER with my skin and it’s just NOW getting it’s crap together.

Let me start by saying, just doing my own research for this post, there isn’t a lot to go on. I’ve read couple things from different websites, but they seem pretty sketchy and unreliable. I will say I look at Sarah’s YouTube for some ideas when it comes to skin care. I’m referring to her as Sarah, like I know her (I do not, duh), but I’ve been following her journey for a bit now. She had horrible hormonal acne like I did and she has GORGEOUS skin now, like it looks fake. However, looking at her skin update, I’m not impressed. It is super simple, but the products are expensive. She also uses a cleansing brush everyday, which I do not know how her skin survives, as well as warm water. She also recommended a few essential oils as well. Using essential oils is probably something I should start doing, however I’m not about to but 50 dollar oil products please look at this one and how many ingredients it is:

 

 

 

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Like what is all of that?! Is it necessary?! Probably not. Safe bet that the reason it has so many ingredients, is the exact reason this retailer can hike up the price. The beauty industry is one that profits from the idea that you can’t get these “natural products” anywhere else. There’s no such thing as natural beauty, because if there was, they’d be out of business. If you could just cleanse your face with oil, then they can’t charge you $50 for it. They have to add all of this other junk you don’t need, in order to sell it.

As I was inspired by my cousin, who also struggles with her skin, I’m going au natural. I’m going to start slow by using only a few things at a time to really see what works with my skin and I’ll be documenting it all here!

As a refresher, this is what my skin looks like now:

 

*cringe*

These are the products I’m starting with:

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Honey -using this to wash my face daily. May switch to an oil (olive or other) instead of this breaks me out. Will keep ya posted

Coconut Oil -this to take off my makeup/ my first cleanser at night before I use honey (Trader Joe’s kind because it’s cheap)

Lemon -Mixing this and honey for my 2x daily wash.

Collagen pills -I’ve been wanting to try for a while and my cousin recommended this one. I’ll see how different it make my skin after a month!

Products I’ll be trying after my skin gets more acclimated:

Rose Toner -Heard great things and I have oily skin so I feel like I need toner? Who knows I’m just trying things out at this point.

Vitamin E oil -This supposedly helps with scars, but i don’t wanna overload my skin with oils right off the bat. Definitely want to try eventually however.

So far, this feels WEIRD. I do notice my makeup goes on a little smoother, however my skin looks a little red for some reason. Not sure what that’s about, but will keep this updated monthly to see how it goes! Let me know if you guy have any products you love or blogs you love who are doing the same!

 

Life The Update: Dreams as Big as My Eyeballs

Highly anticipated and 100% organic cane sugar, ya’ll I’m finally giving you a life update! It took me way too long to write this. As I said in my last update, I’m still not used to the whole “talking about my life and not worrying about what Britney from high school thinks about my post” thing, (for the record, I don’t know a Britney from high school and apologies if you graduated with me and your name is Britney this aint no shade to you girl). My last post was awkward because I was struggling and had a bit of an ego blow. As always, the voice must be silenced and I must continue to be the girl who wore her belt from Brighton my mom bought for me on Ebay even though 10 girls in 7th grade told me how hideous it was whenever I wore it (along with my embarrassing white kitten heels—yeah you read that right). So, like always, I must write this.

 

With that lead up, you might be thinking this is gonna be an awkward post about me failing. I’m very pleased to say how wrong you are. After 1 month of waiting—literally to the day, I am pleased to announce I am the Social Media Coordinator for Memorandum.com! I get to work everyday for someone I’ve admired for almost a year now, which is insane. I finally get to show off my creativity and do something I’ve been itching to do since getting familiar with the blogging world. Still can’t say what the heck my “5 year plan” looks like, but I can tell you it looks a whole lot better than it did at this time last year.

As a girl who always kind of felt stupid for getting a degree in English instead of something practical (and honestly almost switched my Sophomore year). Someone who didn’t get fancy internships, go to a fancy school or know anyone who could help me get here, I always worried about how I would ever be able to get where I wanted to be. I found my passions late in life and I worried I should taken this class or done this extracurricular in order to do what I wanted. If there’s any proof of all that being a big pile of hooey, I want you to know I’m it. Best advice I can give? Always listen to your gut feelings. I’m bordering on being one of those “never stop grinding” gym memes, so I’ll leave it at that. I can finally say without any hesitation: I’m out here living my best life, ya’ll.

 

Let’s Get Skin-timate: My Skin Journey

I wanted to talk about something I’ve struggled with since puberty: SKIN. Specifically, the skin on my face. This is gonna be a long one since I’ve been struggling for 10+ years (craziness), so strap in! Get some snacks.

 

First, let’s break down my journey a little bit.

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Right before the miracle of braces circa right before 8th grade 

I’ve had what I would call “problem” skin since I was about 13. Specifically, I would breakout on my chin. Usually it was one or two, but I always was embarrassed about it and started wearing makeup very early in order to cover it. My aunt, being a Pharmacist, was the first to prescribe something for my skin. After months, my skin stayed the same, despite dosage increases.

Once I was starting 8th grade, I went to a Dermatologist for the first time. He prescribed me a BUNCH of different stuff, but again, nothing really changed.

For a couple years, I just used the stuff you could get at Target like Neutrogena, Clean & Clear etc.

Around my Sophomore year of high school, I started using Proactive. It worked moderately well and I would say my skin was bearable. After not seeing the dramatic results they show on their TV adds, I decided to try something else. In the rise of Pinterest and blogging, my mother and I read about using oil as a cleanser. I don’t really remember my exact results with this (I was but a wee junior in high school), but I wasn’t satisfied with how my skin was reacting to it.

 

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Summer of my junior year. Probably the best my skin looked for two years

I was recommended acne products by a Sephora worker and switched all skin care to a particular brand (doesn’t exist anymore).  This made my skin better, but I still had breakouts regularly. I ended up just going back to regular ‘ole Clean & Clear and my skin was pretty okay the entirety of my junior year. I would still breakout, but it was bearable. Of course, I obsessed over every pimple, but looking back it was really tame. Calm before the storm, as they say.

 

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A blonde me? Senior year

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Decided not to wear makeup this day and after seeing these, regretted that decision

Going into my senior year of high school, I got the worst breakouts of my life. It went from being manageable or a few here and there, to full on cystic acne all over my cheeks and chin. I went back to Proactive in hopes that would help and after another failed attempt, went to a Dermatologist. He sent me back with a few things to try, while my skin stayed basically the same. I was going into College, trying to meet new people and make friends so this was not ideal.

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First day of college, the worst my skin ever looked

Around the same time, my cousin was also struggling with her skin. Like me, she had trouble skin later in life and was struggling to find anything that worked. She began taking the drug Accutane and was surprised by it’s dramatic results.

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While taking Accutane my freshman year

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Summer, after 7 months on Accutane. (please ignore the face I’m making, sheesh)

Accutane is controversial for a few reasons and so most people use this as a last resort. It has very strong side effects including: back pain, dry lips, dry skin and even depression. You take this everyday for at least six months. As a female, you have to jump through A LOT of hoops to get the medication. Blood work and pregnancy tests are a monthly thing as well as making sure you have two forms of birth control. Despite all of this, I was determined to find some way to get it. Luckily for me, a doctor at my school’s health center prescribed it to me. Yes, my skin got drier and thankfully, my hair did too. Other than that, I was lucky enough to have no serious side effects.

After about the 3rd or 4th month, I started to see a real difference in my skin. Going through my first year of college and finally having manageable skin was the best feeling. Accutane was really the only thing that ever worked for me, personally. After being on it for 7 months, I was finally down to about two breakouts a month.

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Sophomore year of college (I miss my short haiirrrrr)

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Junior year. (you can sort of see the scars on the side of my face) Let me live, i know this picture is odd

 

Unfortunately, since getting rid of breakouts, I was left with scars. I’ve struggled so much with just breaking out, that I just basically thought “Okay this I can deal with,” and mostly left my skin alone for the past 4 years. Still trying to hide from anyone seeing me sans makeup, of course. You can’t really see the difference between my skin after Accutane and now since I wasn’t really documenting it. My skin looks similar, but I promise, some of these pictures (sophomore and junior year) I have good makeup and strategic lighting.

I do want to share the, few, subtle things that I have been doing lately that have helped me dramatically. My skin right now is about the best it has ever been, (except my baby skin) and I wanted to share what I’ve been using/doing to help get a more even tone!

Lemon juice

I’ve touched on this before, but just to reiterate, this is the best thing for a brighter tone to your skin! I literally just cut this baby in half and squeeze the juice on my skin every night before I go to sleep. Seriously, do it.

Honey

This stuff has been my saving grace lately and I’m so sorry I neglected (hated on) it for years! I use this for very simple masks, here’s a couple:

Tumeric and honey=spot treatment

Pink Himalayan salt and honey= exfoliation mask

I’ve also been using it in my coffee as a sweetener!

Cut. That. SUGAR

I’m sure ya’ll are thinking, “is this girl about to tell me to stop eating sugar again?” and I AM!!! I just stopped using sugar n my coffee and it has changed my skin so much, and its only been a month. So much of your skin is a reflection of what you put in your body and sugar is the worst thing you can do to your skin. I cut sugar in my normal diet and really only eat sugar (I’m talking like cookies, cake etc. or what I call “obvious sugar”), maybe twice a week. Sometimes, I’m just really craving it, so i definitely  let me myself have it. I never wanna go back to that long month of no sugar and making myself miserable (do not recommend).

Wearing less makeup

This is hard to do if you have a full-time job, obviously, but try as much as you can. I definitely recommend not using foundation if you do feel like you need to wear makeup. I only ever use tinted moisturizer and then cover-up for my scaring and dark circles. I recommend this or this, they are very similar in my opinion and I like both!

Don’t use a cleaning brush every night

This discovery stemmed from me just being too lazy to buy a new brush head for my Clairsonic and then not using it because the brush was too gross. I was basically over-exfoliating my skin and it was not thanking me. I would say if you have one of these, use it once a week.

Wash your face TWICE

So since I’m not using the brush to get all of my makeup off, I now have to wash my face twice. Once to remove my makeup and second, to cleanse. Never been a fan of makeup wipes, I feel they can be super harsh. I prefer just washing it twice.

Cold water only

Recently, I followed another blogger with UNBELIEVABLE skin. Like baby smooth and dewy. She used a bunch of different things. I’ll admit, once people suggest products to use, I usually tune out. Having tried so much stuff, I really don’t take advice about skin products that claim to work. HOWEVER, she did say she only washes her face with cool or cold water. It takes some getting used to, but I’ve been doing it ever since. Putting boiling hot water on your skin in general probably isn’t great, but definitely if your face is sensitive. I would recommend at the very least warm/cool water.

 

For years, I had people tell me what I should be doing for my skin. I hated anyone who would comment on it, as I preferred to pretend it wasn’t an issue. Most of the skin advice I got, was unsolicited. Random people would tell me what I should be doing and honestly, that was probably the worst part. I tried not to think about my skin, as I knew I had more things about myself to offer. No matter what, you are not your skin. We get so wrapped up in how we look, that when we don’t look our best, it can be hard to live normally. If you’re struggling with your skin, you’re not alone. One of the reasons my skin is better could be simply age! Don’t dwell on it, everyone has something they’re embarrassed about. If you know someone struggling with their skin, for the love of god, just leave them alone about it. Whatever you’re about to say, they’ve probably tried it. At the end of the day, you still have to go out and live your life. My skin’s not perfect. I still get embarrassed walking around without makeup, sometimes. Everyone has something about them that they don’t like, but find your way of dealing with it and do what you can.

*Not a professional or expert, only sharing what has worked for me in my own, personal life.