Dating App Absolute Gems: No. 2

And we’re back! Got a few very interesting convos that I just had to share, and one very rude suggestion from Hinge. Let’s go:

 

 

 

 This man does not know his own angles, lemme tell you.

 Scrolled down to find that this man was neither Obama OR Michelle. Shocked and confused.

 Never felt more connected to a person in my life.

 But Matthew, I have got to know what the hell a youth motivational speaker is.

 

 

 According to Hinge, this is the vibe I’m putting off on my dating profile??? Much to think about- Billy Ray Cyrus

At least girls have the decency to put music with their selfie videos!!!!!

 

  I mean no hey, hi, or how are you???At least pretend to be interested in my mind and not my brain. I reported him because I’m petty. Mom, if you’re reading this, don’t.

 

 First time I’ve ever been greeted like this and I didn’t hate it. Didn’t work out with us, but I’ll think about him always.

People Still Like Trader Joe’s Lists, Right?

I know people do these constantly, but its one of the few posts I’ll scroll through no matter whose it is. I’m always looking for new stuff to try, especially in the freezer section. There’s a combined Target and Trader Joe’s a few stop away from me, so basically that’s where 90% of my income is going these days. Let begin with the things I buy every time I go:

 

Cauliflower gnocchi: When will I have the dramatic glow-up that cauliflower has had? Pretty much all Trader Joe’s lists worth their salt have this on it. It’s as good as everyone says it is, but pro-tip put it in the oven with olive oil when cooking (trust me).

Organic Brown Rice Pasta: Does eating this make me feel healthy? Big Yes. Is it? Medium Yes. I’m not gluten free or afraid of bread anymore, thank god, but there was a time when I was. This is the pasta I would go with and now that I’m tight with bread again, it’s still my go-to. Mostly just because it’s actually good. Pasta that claims to be good for you is usually trash and basically dissolves in your mouth, no thanks. This one tastes like actual pasta, as it should.

Cauliflower Stir-Fry: Hitting you again with the cauliflower and I’m not done yet. This stuff has the luxury of cauliflower stir fry, without a million individual bags of frozen vegetables to buy. With corn, peppers, peas, ginger and sesame oil in one bag, all you need is soy sauce. Lots and lots of soy sauce,

Orange “Chicken”: I’ve become sort of a vegetarian in recent years. Not necessarily on purpose, but I’m just not a big meat eater anymore. This stuff is vegan and comes with a little sauce packet and it is divine! Put this with Cauli Stir-fry and you’ve got yourself a meal.

Kung Pao Cauliflower: How many cauliflower things can I buy? Many, many cauliflower things. I cook these for about 30 minutes in the oven and pour the sauce packet over them. Longer cook time, but worth the wait.

Dried Apricots, individual packets: I bought these once on a whim and I love them. I need everything to come in tiny serving sizes because I have no self control!! Tastes like candy, but with no added sugar.

Stuff that’s tried, tested, tasty, but not in the regular rotation:

Potato gnocchi stuffed with mozzarella and marinara sauce: These are basically grown-up pizza rolls and I’m not sorry about it. Put some cheese on top and you’ve got yourself an easy meal.

Vegan Pesto: I’m more of a red sauce gall myself, but wanted to try this out anyway. Tastes like normal, almost suspiciously good? If you’re cutting out dairy, this is a god one. If you aren’t, add goat cheese and put it on Cauliflower gnocchi to really lean into #health.

Candy Corn Popcorn: Candy corn, good. Popcorn, good. Candy corn popcorn, so delic. If you don’t like candy corn, let me live! And, alternatively, if you buy the autumn mix candy corn, don’t talk to me either.

 

Let’s Be Real: Should You Only Wash Your Hair Once a Week?

After doing a little research (I googled it), I’ve found some pretty conflicting info about how much you should be washing your hair. Apparently, how much you wash your hair depends on your hair type. If your hair is dry, no more than twice a week. If it’s oily, everyday is fine. If your hair is thick, once a week. If you’re a brunette, no more than twice a week. But what if you have oily, thick, brown hair? Good luck.

The censuses seems to be, less is more. The less you wash, the less you have to style it and the less chance for damage. My hair is naturally very oily or “greasy”, as I fondly, (not fondly), refer to it. Before the beautiful invention of dry shampoo, I used to just put on a headband and wash my hair every other day. Needless to say, I was first-world suffering. Since adding dry shampoo into my life, I’ve been able to wash my hair less and less. I try to go at least 3-ish days and day three was a bun day for sure. Recently, a combo of laziness and honestly just seeing how long I can go, I’ve been going longer and longer between washes. I’ve been doing a wash on Monday and then another towards the end of the week so I can appear to be fresh on the weekends. This past week, I went an entire 7 days without washing it. Here’s my true hollywood story:

Headbands are back and my dirty hair is thriving in the Blair Waldorf of it all. I recently got a bunch of really cute puffy velvet headbands and have been utilizing them to the max. Do they hurt? I’m not gonna lie to you, they give me headaches. So do a lot of other things: people who don’t text back fast enough, when its randomly 40 degrees and you wanted to wear shorts and a light jacket, when the subway doors don’t open for a long pause so you just stand there brimming with anticipation, someone taking a call on speaker in a public place etc. This headache is self-inflicted and I will endure pain for beauty!!

Dry. Sham. Poo. Obviously if this did not exist, I could not not wash my hair. It would drive me nuts. I will say after like day 3, you don’t need as much because it doesn’t, like, evaporate. It sticks around. My favorite is Dove, but it’s all about preference. Gives me the most volume and smells good.

Have good shampoo for when you do actually use it. I’m gonna level with you, my shampoo right now is crappy. It was cheap and I really needed some so I took what I could get. I have a very itchy scalp and dandruff issues, (TMI?) so I really need to switch. Thinking heavily about Function of Beauty again, but tbd.

On that note, probably also get a clarifying shampoo. What the heck is clarifying shampoo, Katie? Well I’ll tell you, dear reader. I discovered it the last time I went to get my hair cut (10 billion years ago) and I told my stylist that my hair looked so gross even though I had washed it that day. Apparently, jus regular ole shampoo doesn’t take all of the stuff out of your hair, so you need to use a clarifying shampoo. Go figure.

If you’re trying this, now is a great time. Hair + cooler weather = gorgeous hair for days. I don’t know what it is about fall/winter weather, probably the fact that you aren’t sweating anymore, but good hair is imminent. On day six of this journey it was about 40 degrees outside and for some reason my hair looked amazing (its also my featured image in the post thank you very much). If you’re even thinking about washing your hair less, this is a fabulous season to start. Also hello hat season!!!

Start slow. Go an extra day every now and then and work up to a full week without washes. Embrace a ponytail, a bun, a cute puffy headband. It’s better for your hair, better for good ole mother earth and saves some money.

 

Fall Trend Alert: Having Tiny Titties

DISCLAIMER:  I’m not coming for people with tiny boobs. We’re all given a certain amount and we may increase or decrease to our leisure, if you’re willing to pay for it. I would also like to point out that it is 10000X easier to add boob (pushup bra) than take boob away (there’s no “take boob away” bra).

However, when it comes to fashion lately, smaller boobs are more “stylish”. I can think of so many times where I’ve said, I can’t wear that because I have big boobs. I recently watched a IGTV video from an unnamed magazine company where they talked about trends for fall or things that they’re loving as far as clothes go. I would say about half of the things we’re very specifically tailored to people with absolutely nothing up top.

It seems that we always want to add more boob, but in clothing lately it’s trendy to just not have any boobs at all. Here’s some examples:

 Sweaters with just one button to close it, cute! On me? Suggestive.

Imagine trying to wear a bra with this–comical.

            The trend here seems to be tiny strings to hold your top closed. God forbid your boobs fall with gravity and aren’t inline with your eyeballs.

 

   This started trending on Instagram as everyone saying, “look at Katie Holmes being an influencer! So chic!” Instead of how it would be framed if she had my body which would be, “Katie Holmes wardrobe malfunction! Seems a little sloppy.”

 

 

Another trend I’d like to point out is the androgynous dressing, which basically means baggy-suit-wear-so-you-look-like-a-guy. A little easier to pull off, but I’m definitely still gonna look like a girl.

Without getting preachy or talking about something I very much don’t know anything about, this is part of larger issue with fashion. Everything is always made for people of a certain body type and looks wonky on anyone that doesn’t look like that. That’s why it’s cool that some brands now show you the same article of clothing on different body types.  But of course, high fashion and trends really aren’t there yet. Anyone who isn’t rail thin really isn’t considered in designing clothes, it’s always just made bigger in order to fit more bodies. And “thats the tea”, on that.

I Re-watched Sex and the City and It Changed How I Feel About Aiden

I’m Stanford!!!! This is the first time I’ve written in months and if you’re wondering why I’m writing this, of all things, I have no answers. I do, kinda, have a reason for this post.

So let’s go back, why am I re-watching Sex and the City for the 16 billionth time? I started listening to this new podcast called The Bradshaw Boys. It’s 3 straight guys watching Sex and the City for the first time (mostly) and then discussing it. Super hilarious and fun, highly recommend. At first, I wasn’t going to go back and watch the series with them since I’d already seen it multiple times. As they started going through the episodes, I really just couldn’t help myself and jumped in around Season 2.

One of the surprising things is the newfound annoyance with Carrie. I mean, come on girl, how are you trying to make this relationship with Big work if you never tell him how you feel about things? Every fight they ever have is about how she needs/wants something from him emotionally and is too scared to ask for it. This leads to her inevitable explosion and makes it a giant deal. I don’t wanna say the Big is innocent here, not at all. Anytime she does finally ask what the deal is, he’s usually super vague. I don’t, by any means, think their relationship is something to strive for. I do, however, get where she’s coming from a little. Personally, I find when I really like a guy; I hate bringing up any relationship talk. If you’ve been dating around a while, you sort of get the clue that when you bring that stuff up, it can blow up in your face. You either hear something you don’t like, or get rejected, and so it ends up just nagging you until you explode. I will say that sometimes when she does explode on him, it gets her the results she was looking for. For instance, when he doesn’t tell her he loves her in Season 2, she gets pissy and leaves him at a party. The next day, he actually says it over the phone. Thus, starting the cycle of silence, fight and reward. This is extremely toxic and pretty immature behavior, but I’ve been there. Should they have ended up together? No. You cant allow someone to treat you a certain way for X amount of months and then be surprised when they don’t get the hint that it’s not actually what you want.

I’ve never really been “big” on Big, but on the “Big vs. Aiden” debacle, I’ve always been Team Aiden. He was so sweet and soon much better than Big! I would argue Carrie was over correcting. By that, I mean she hated how badly she was treated by Big, so she went super left field. She needed the opposite of Big and she definitely got it. I always thought he was great, but in actuality, he’s kinda blah. He’s just there all the time. In her space and her life, but doesn’t really add anything. I don’t think he could ever actually hang out with her and her friends. He immediately tried to change her with the smoking thing. Literally all they do is lounge around her place being boring. We give “nice” guys such a huge pass, simply because they’re nice, but let’s please up the bar ladies. Maybe if we did, there’d be more nice guys to go around! Nice should be base level, what else does he have besides nice? I think Carrie stayed with him half of the time, just because he was nice, and then the rest of the time, just because she felt bad for him because he was nice. Think about when she first said, “I love you” to him. She said it right after he did and she had just cheated on him with Big. She didn’t love him, clearly. Also, they just truly did not mesh well. He didn’t like smokers; he liked the outdoors and loved staying in with his dog. She liked to party, smoke and be glamorous. She literally never went to a single party or outing when they were together, I mean what up with that? At least Big could keep up with her, her friends and her lifestyle. I get it nice is so refreshing. Dating a bunch of crappy dudes will really have you reaching for some boredom in your love life. It’s easier and you think that’ll mean predictability and that it’ll work out better. Spoiler alert, it doesn’t. Nice just translates to “I’m saving myself from getting hurt this time” which isn’t always the case, especially with Carrie.

It’s probably true that every time you watch a series again, you get something different out of it. You hopefully have different experiences all the time, so you watch things though a different perspective. I know Carrie’s overcorrecting because I’ve been there myself. On the Big vs. Aiden thing, I’m neither. I’m more of a Harry-Smith-Steve gal myself.

Love You, But Get Over Yourself

It’s Valentine’s Day! Everyone today is talking about self-love and loving yourself matter if you’re single or dating someone or you married, which is great! Do that! Today I wanted to shake it up and talk about something a little bit different. I talked a little bit about this on my Instagram stories, which if you’re not following me on Instagram you should be, hello. I somehow inspired myself to write this little reminder for you, on this day of love of you and/or someone else.

I had a moment, well more than a moment, more like 6 months in my life where I gained weight when I first moved to New York. I haven’t talked about it at all because, really not in the best place yet to discuss it(but I’m getting there).  It was not the best time considering all the crazy changes happening in my life. I started off with a very low self-esteem as a kid. It’s gotten way better over the years but it’s still not amazing especially when it comes to my body. I had very weird relationship with food and still struggle with it! So when I gained weight for the first time in forever, I panicked. I didn’t know what the heck was going on, I was not happy about it and it only got worse once I started focusing on it.

I spent a lot of time last summer putting on clothes that I had been wearing for years and noticing that they didn’t look the same way or I didn’t feel the same way in them. It got to a point where I wasn’t even sure what size I was anymore and so I stopped buying new clothes because it would bum me out. At the end of the day, I still had to live my life. I wasn’t gonna sit in my room and cry about it even though that’s really what really what I wanted to do. Summer is the most fun, so a lot of the time I just had to put on what I had and try not to think about it.

Nobody noticed or cared except for me and I think that’s one of the things that got me out of the house half the time is nobody is going to notice. Nobody cares about me, nobody looks at myself the way I do or looks at me in the critical way that I do. That has helped me more than anything, so I guess today I’m preaching get over yourself. Nobody cares what you look like half the time, nobody noticed the pimple on your face, nobody noticed that you look a little bloated today. Everyone else is way too busy thinking about how they look, feel and act to also worry about you and your crap!

The people who love you and the people that matter, don’t give a singular crap about the dumb, awful things you think about you. It’s nice to know you’re the only one who cares about every single thought in your head or about what you look like every single day! Obviously love yourself, don’t think that you’re a piece of crap because you gained a little weight or you have a pimple on your face or you did something embarrassing 2 months ago.

Some of the best times I’ve had in my life were when I sucked it up and did whatever it was regardless of how I felt about my outward appearance.

Adventures in Crazy Workouts: Flywheel

I have a love/hate relationship with cycling classes. Okay, it’s mostly hate. I used to take them all the time at my University gym a couple years ago, ya know, when I was living my best life with a free gym included in my tuition. I thrived on my cycling 7 am classes on Monday’s and have tried to re-create those happy times in these trendy NYC cycling classes. I do love a good Monster cycle class, and I had some high hopes for Flywheel. As you guys know, or maybe don’t, I very much dislike Soulcycle. It’s got flashing colored lights, there’s a lot of yelling, and too many different moves (i.e MOVE UP! DOWN! HANDS AT FIRST! SECOND! RIGHT! LEFT! JUMP!), you get it. I prefer not to be screamed at while I workout, but maybe just me.

I figured I would try this place, simply because the first class was free. I went in, found my assigned bike, and patted myself on the back for being all early. The instructor walked in, talked at a normal volume and I took it as a good sign. As soon as the thought This might actually be okay started forming in my brain, he began to play house music and yelled, “YOU GUYS READY TO GO?!” It was definitely a struggle after that. I checked my apple watch probably every 10 minutes waiting for it to end. Which is sad because the only other time I do that when I work out is when I’m running—because running is just excruciating.

You know how you have ac certain voice when you talk to someone professional? Some people refer to this as their “customer service voice.” Our cycling instructor obviously had a “cycling instructor voice.” He sounded like a gay radio announcer. If you’re wondering “hmm, what does that sound like?” Here’s my best impression:

Okay it was deeper than that, but you get it. Now, I don’t wanna make fun of this dude. However, I can because I know he was putting this voice on. Imagine hearing that mixed with way-too-loud house music.

The one thing that was actually different about this class that I enjoyed was the ranking. We were able to see how we ranked in the class the entire time and even had short bursts of competition with each other towards the end of the ride. Definitely made me push myself to go faster!

Overall, this wasn’t my favorite. I like cycling, but hate when my ear drums burst while have a seizure from flashing lights. This is a workout, not a Kesha concert, thanks.

How To: Eat Yo Vegetables

Raise your hand if you’ve resolved to be healthier in 2019?

I’d consider myself a pretty decently healthy person—who’s addicted to sugar and will not apologize for it. I’ve recently, in the last 6 months, gotten used to eating a serving of vegetables a day. May not sounds like a lot, but you gotta start somewhere, right?

I’ve never been a huge fan of vegetables, because ew. I usually struggle with them unless they’re drowning in some sort of sauce (ranch?). I somehow found a way of making them taste amazing and, almost more importantly, ready very quickly. I’ve never been the kind of person who can sit and wait for food to cook for an hour. I thought I’d share my go-to in case anyone was looking for a quick recipe! I’m by no means a recipe expert and you can totally tell because my pictures are very basic, but you get the idea.

Note: You can use ANY vegetables, I’ve just been really into asparagus and sweet potato lately.

You need:

• Veggie of choice
• Oil of some kind (I used olive oil)
• Half of a lime
• Salt
• Pepper
• Trader Joe’s Everything But The Bagel Seasoning 
• Turmeric

That’s literally it. I know turmeric seems weird, but its so good mixed with all of the other things.

How I do it:

1. Grab a skillet and oil it with a decent amount of whatever oil you chose
2. Put your veggie of choice in there and cook it on medium heat
3. Flip them after about 5 minutes and add spices( I like mine very brown, so maybe flip them earlier if you don’t)
4. Turn heat on low and add juice from the half lime
5. EAT

I added chicken because it goes really well with all the other spices, but you can use whatever you like! I’ve noticed if you don’t have a gas stove, they may take longer to cook, just an fyi. I eat this all the time (ask my roommate) and I love it!

 

 

 

2018: What A Year

Can I just say this was the longest year of my life?

I’ve learned a lot about myself that I didn’t know. I did things I never thought I would do. I definitely feel like I’ve matured a lot for just one year, but my 25 year old self might read this and internally groan—who’s to say?

Winter…was rough. Let’s start with the good! I discovered that snow storms are simultaneously amazing and horrifying. You’re scared your pipes will freeze and your heat will go out, but its so quiet and pretty to watch you’ll think you’re actually in heaven. Spent some fun times with Ruby (shout-out to Ruby because I really think I would’ve moved, had I not met her) doing things on my New York bucket list and eating some amazing food. Discovered some cool places near my apartment – like a bakery full of cat things and a place where I frequented to get bagel sandwiches. Christmas in New York is so cute and exciting to be a part of. Pushed myself to learn new things and tried to do things solo to make myself as happy as possible.

When I wrote my “goals” for 2018 and my year in a video, I was in a weird place. I was just starting to feel lonely, sad and very nostalgic. This feeling would definitely be an overriding emotion for the rest of the winter. I don’t know if it was what you’d call “seasonal depressive disorder” or just some serious growing pains, but I would say the winter was hard for me. I spent the majority of the time feeling unsuccessful and beating myself up frequently for not having my life look the way I’d pictured it when I moved to the city. Not just in my career, which I’ve talked about, but in all aspects of my life. I didn’t make a bunch of friends like I assumed I would. I spent 6 months in an apartment I hated and lived above a bar—unsurprisingly the worst place I’ve ever lived. I also went on a clump of last-luster dates and even one with a guy I can confidently say was a (borderline) sociopath. Everything about life doesn’t change immediately. I would say the weekends were hard when I had no plans and was stuck in my loud apartment with nothing to do.

Thankfully, Spring actually came after what felt like a trillion years. I made some really awesome friends and finally had a group that I felt were really my people. I moved to a new apartment and actually enjoyed being at there instead of feeling trapped.

In the summer of 2018, I finally quit my job in order to find something I really loved, which I did. Spent time doing things that inspired me and also had a lot of fun draining all my bank accounts.

Fall was definitely a big blur, but in a good way. I turned another year older with the best people I could ask for. Spent some much needed time at home, and for once, coming back to the city felt exciting instead of dreadful.

Of course, dating life is still pending, but three out of four ain’t bad!

One year ago, I was slightly sad, but very hopeful. I knew my life now  would not be the way it was then. I was right and couldn’t be happier about it. Here’s to more crazy times and doing things that scare the crap out of me.

 

Adventures in Crazy Workouts: DanceBody

It has been a hot minute since I did one of these babies. I’ve been doing a lot of the same things and trying to keep it consistent, rather than fun. What can I say, I like a routine. I’ve also really been enjoying CorePower Yoga’s Yoga Sculpt class. It’s longer than normal, but I feel amazing afterwards. Definitely worth checking out if you have even a slight interest in yoga. 

On to what I ACTUALLY did. I went to my very first DanceBody class, on a Sunday, no less. I want businesses to know that influence by bloggers works cause the only reason I know about DanceBody is because of a blogger. I, being uncoordinated with dance and having *ahem* larger boobs, was apprehensive about taking this class. After I booked it, I thought “Why am I trying to take this class? My boobs are gonna fly all over the place and I’m going to look absolutely ridiculous. I really should just do a cycling class where it’s dark and comfortable.” BUT, it is 2018 and I’m not here for my own negativity about what my body looks like while trying to workout, thanks. I decided to book the class and interested to see how it would go.

I took the “Follow Along” class, which is the least amount of choreography and concentration. First, everything is fine, you’re dancing looking weird but it’s fine!! Next thing you know you’re sweating, calves dying and somehow it’s only been 15 minutes. This class was no joke. We were jumping and dancing for literally 45 minutes. There’s about an 8 minutes break to do arms, but is it really a break if you’re still moving your entire body I think no! 

The last 10 minutes is a lovely pilates tone while on a mat. It’s nice because you’re on the ground, no more jumping and you can finally breathe. It’s not nice because you’re somehow still out of breath, what the heck, your leg does not bend that way and oh my god I’m shaking. 

All in all, I loved the workout. Yes, it was very hard and yes, watching myself bounce around VERY uncoordinated was weird. However, I tried it, I liked it, I got out of my comfort zone and I didn’t die. The earth is still turing and no one stopped dancing in order to laugh at how uncoordinated I was. I recommend it if you’re a cardio queen like myself, would rather dance than workout or maybe can actually dance? If I was a richer woman, this would be my go-to after a long weekend of drinking and too much pizza.